"Ho Ho Ho! What would YOU like, little girl?" The man in the Santa suit asked the latest girl seated on his lap. I braced for the inevitable onslaught of tears. This man, who smelled of Camel and Coors, had been coming off WAY too strong to be Santa. Nearly every child who had come through the line left with tears in their eyes, and I was the one who had to cheer them up. Speaking of which, tears in three... two... one...
 "MOMMY! MOMMY!!!" The little girl, I heard her mother call her Angie, started bawling like the 4 year old she was. I stepped up and picked the girl up off the old man's lap... Jeeze, no wonder these kids are crying, he's sportin' a woody! I placed the girl on the ground and she immediately ran to her mother's side. I pulled a candy cane from my little waist pouch and went over to her.
 I kneeled down and held out the sweet. "Hey, Angie. YOu don't have to sit on Santa's lap. Here, tell me what you want and I'll tell him." Being an elf isn't bad when you can see a child wiping the tears from their eyes and looking at you with hope. "I wanna big girl bike." she told me. My smile never faultered as I stood up and walked over to the fat man. I leaned in close to whisper in his ear.
 "You need to clean up you act and be a little more gentle." My smile wasn't putting any weight into those words.
 "Or what, little girl. You gonna punch out Santa Claus? Just like you did last year?" Yeah, just like this guy to bring that up. Last year this guy felt me up and I reacted like any healthy college student. His hand was resting on my should, squeezing just tightly enough to let me remember that this man was much larger than I was.
 "I'll call security if anything happens." I replied. My smile wiped the one off his face, and he let me go. The next child was about to be let through when he stood up.
 "Sorry children, Santa needs to take a piss." Oh my god! Did he just say that!? I looked shocked at the line and saw many of the parents returning my gesture, though their mouths were open a lot wider than mine. Surprisingly, only a few kids seemed NOT to know the meaning of the word. Okay, that's it. I'm getting security, luckily there was a guard stationed not too far away. I left Winter Wonderland, letting the other two elves close up, and began my stride towards the mall cop.
 On my way however, I felt a large meaty arm rest against my back as the hand that belonged to it gripped my shoulder painfully. I looked up at the man with anger on my face. Not false, play-it-up-for-the-kiddies anger, this was true hatred. Santa leaned his face close to mine and breathed out his words. "Well now, looks like we got a naughty little girl. Maybe I should put some coal in her stocking." My eyes teared as that noxious fume hit my nostrils. I opened up my mouth to scream, but he put a gloved finger to it. "Wanna scream, get Santa arrested. Can you really do that to those kids?" I knew I was still close enough to the Santa area that a sudden, piercing noise would attract all eyes, I couldn't do that to the children, so I just had to play along.
 Play along I did, Santa began steering me away from the guard towards the breakroom near the kids. He nearly shoved me inside the small room as we stepped through the threshold. I slammed myself against the wall, trying to get bruised so I could maybe file charges against him. Didn't work. I heard the faint click of the door locking behind me and my heart stopped. I turned around and saw that he had already taken off his beard, hat, and gloves and was starting on his jacket. "So what now." I asked. Men like this didn't lock door unless they planned something awful.
 "That's up to you, now ain't it." I cringed as he used that contraction. He brought up all sorts of bad memories from when my father... Best not dwell on that. I was so busy lost in my own thoughts that I didn't notice he was down to a t-shirt and boots. I also wasn't aware enough to dodge the gut punch he dealt me. "Now, you be a good little girl and suck on Santa's candy cane." He gripped my hair and pulled my head back. I pushed him back and got to my feet.
 My breath was unsteady, but I felt I could take him on if I could react quickly enough. I didn't expect him to body check me. "Feisty little elf, ain'tcha?" I opened my mouth to yell as he pinned me to the wall, only to recieve a mouthful of fingers. His other hand I couldn't see, but I felt it grope at the fabric of my costume, and I heard the rip as my pants were torn off. I gulped fearfully... and got a fist lodged in my throat.
 I was surprised, so was Santa, but I found out quickly I couldn't dwell on it. He tried pulling his fist from my mouth, but I found that to be incredibly painful. I myself wanted no part of his body inside any part of mine, but I was running out of breath. I don't know what I tried doing, but what I ended up doing was swallowing once more. His arm travelled quickly down my throat and his hand into my stomach. I was now face to face with this man. He tasted like tar, dirt, and all sorts of other foul materials. I opened my mouth much wider than it should physically be able to go, and gulped again.
 His head was lodged deeply into my throat, and he was screaming at the top of his lungs. The entire experience was unpleasant, and I tried not to dwell on taste or realisation of what part of his body was in my mouth at what time. I gulped again and tasted fabric, worse, I tasted vomit on that fabric. Normally you would gag at that, but for some reason all I could do was swallow. As I did, I was hit in the chin with... oh god, no! I wanted to spit him out now. Come on body, listen to me, he'll leave me alone now. Sadly, my body DIDN'T listen, and I had swallowed again, that horrible member was on my tongue. I also noticed that my top had ripped open, and my bra under that, because of the large mishappen mound in my belly. I tilted my head back, mostly on instinct, and swallowed hard, mostly to get that horrible taste out of my mouth. There was now rubber on my tongue, a sweet taste compared to the myriad of others.
 One final swallow and I pulled his feet right out of his boots, down my throat, and into my stomach. I spit up the shoes and started dry heaving. It was mostly because of the taste than the knowledge that I had swallowed another person, but either way, nothing came up. I looked at my stomach as the horrible bumps and knots on it shifted. I tried standing up only to find that my... 'meal' was much too large. So I sat there, for nearly half an hour, just wondering what would happen. In that time though, my belly shrunk quite rapidly. When the time was up I only looked like someone in their second trimester of prregnancy.
 Finally able to stand, I did so. I also shivered at the chill of cold air, remembering that my clothes were trashed. Looking around for something to wear, my eyes fell on the discarded Santa suit. I secretly thanked god for the horrible cliche and set to work dressing myself, I was also thankful that I had a wide vocal range, otherwise this would never work. I left the breakroom looking and acting like Santa SHOULD, and I saw many happy faces of children leave my lap.
 After the mall closed, I was in for a few surprises. Surprise number one, the breakroom has a security camera in it. Surprise number two, the tape for that videofeed 'mysteriously' found its way into the trash compactor... after bursting into flames. Surprise number three, I was given my paycheck for being an elf, and a paycheck in my name for being Santa. My boss couldn't keep a straight face during his little fibs, but at least I knew that I wasn't in any kind of trouble.