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The Naga & The Witch By Stalbon -- Report

A naga goes to prove herself against an older magic user, only to find out she's in over her head. Based around a new character of mine. Hint: it's not the naga!

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Posted by Aleph-Null 10 years ago Report

Your character is awesome.

I hadn't seen any of your stories before this. Though the subject matter often doesn't interest me, I really like your style.

I would definitely like to see more of Marianna.


Posted by Stalbon 10 years ago Report

I appreciate it, then! Sometimes style can trump subject matter, but I understand if I don't really hit your personal likes too often. Let me know if you find any more that you like!


Posted by FanficFetishist 10 years ago Report

Very nice. Marianna makes for an exquisitely sexy pred, love. :D


Posted by Stalbon 10 years ago Report

Glad you were able to find and read it, love. I may have to play her for you, soon. ;)


Posted by Slash 10 years ago Report

This is a sweet story. Marianna comes off great to me. Besides.. she got a naga..that's rare around here.


Posted by Stalbon 10 years ago Report

*Grins* I figured you would like it too, my friend. I need to see you around more often!


Posted by Bright 10 years ago Report

I liked it. It is not often you read about nagas who happen to be on the wrong end of a dinner.


Posted by Daemonfall 10 years ago Report

Well written, would be the first words to come in mind after reading this. The wording is very fine as well, so all in all, it's very good reading!


Posted by Indighost 10 years ago Report

Hey Stalbon, you left me such a thoughtful and useful comment that I thought I'd go ahead and try to do the same for you.

Things I liked:
I really liked this story!
-The characters' appearances were extremely well described and very sexy to imagine :)
-The swallowing sequence was quite beautifully detailed and I enjoyed in very much :3
-The system of magic you describe is very believeable and well-balanced.
-In addition, as Bright mentions above, it's great to see a Naga get eaten. Variety in vore stories is rare and precious :)

Areas for improvement:
-There were one or two run-on sentences, nothing serious
-"She viciously prodded a long fingernail into one of the feline's massive breasts, though was surprised to see the fattened flesh indent so heavily" -- I did not entirely understand this sentence.
-I did not get too much of a sense of the naga's personality other than that she didn't respect the cat and wanted to eat her.

Overall, considering its length, this was a very well-done story :) I always like to learn more about the characters and their personalities, but for a brief scene this was highly enjoyable!


Posted by Stalbon 10 years ago Report

The run-on sentences are...alas...a part of my writing style that I find hard to break from, so they tend to crop up in each of my works. As for the naga's overall lack of personality, that was intended. Much as I spoke of in your work, the naga here is the intended victim, and building in her a personality that is more robust than a few tidbits of character possibly detracts from the essence of the vore story, likewise possibly builds some sympathy towards her fate, and drags on the story in a way I would not have intended. Your series with Liza is built on things that are a bit greater than my own shorter works, not to mention it's an ongoing series with the means to add more characterization. Nonetheless, I try my best to add details and character to those in my tales with the knowledge of the constraints I am putting on the story itself. So far, in most if not all of my stories, I seem to have succeeded. :)


Posted by Indighost 10 years ago Report

Agreed...I think there is room for Eka's for different styles, and I believe you execute yours with grace and style :)


Posted by banzai 10 years ago Report

Another great story Stalbon, you are really good at giving the characters some depth and story around them ;)


Posted by Stalbon 10 years ago Report

I am very glad you liked it! :)


Posted by Bookie 6 years ago Report

Proposed a few tags. I'd love to see more of that brilliant panther witch getting involved with larger meals.


Posted by KY233 4 years ago Report

This piece is awesome! Are there more fics with Marianna in the works? Also, the story seems like it would make a great comic!