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Yes, in homage to the song (I can't get no... nuh nuh nuh...) Last of the short commissions, for Talash this time. I originally was only going to do the twilight-zone-esque introduction in present text, but stuck with it for the entire story. I think it suits the explicit nature of it well. I also developed a fondness for Jackasses after watching an episode of California's Gold with Huell Howser at the Trinity County Faire (And no, it had nothing to do with the longer-than-the-point-where-I'm-beginning-to-wonder-about-the-camerman's-motives shot of the Jenny's rear end they started the segment with. Actually I liked that they looked like rabbits (giant ears), and seemed docile, and tbh I'm not a big fan of horses in general in rl) So a twin Jackass pairing with Talash seemed like a good one, and the story developed from there. Anyhow... this is fairly active and has lots of sex before the vore. hope you like it Talash!
Posted by juicefox 12 years ago Report
This one made me a little uncomfortable. It felt like the donkey's were raping the dragon and I felt like Talash came off as a bit of a slut for letting them. I don't know, maybe a predator can appreciate this much more than I can. I do, afterall, take the position of the prey and, in this instance, I couldn't identify with or relate to the prey at all and I couldn't respect the predator either.
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Posted by Scratch 12 years ago Report
I'm sorry it seemed that way. The commissioner asked for their character, who usually dominates her prey, to be overtaken before regaining the upper hand. In fairness she did let them into her room with clear intentions, the donkeys happened to be a bit rougher than she expected but they got their comeuppance I guess. There's nothing respectable about the characters though, the twin donkeys are lowlife sex fiends and the dragoness has a habit of tricking her prey in order to eat them, there's really no morality at play. But that was part of the concept, I guess, going along with the fast paced narrative, dusty suburban center setting and lewd descriptions of sex. It's a dirty story.
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Posted by juicefox 12 years ago Report
Fair enough. You can't please everyone and as long as your commisioner is happy then I'd consider the story a sucess. But my want to relate to the prey and respect the predator has nothing to do with morality. Sexuality is not enough for me, I need to like the characters to some degree to enjoy any kind of story. But again, this is personal preference, and if your commisioner is happy with the story, then so should you.
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Posted by Scratch 12 years ago Report
Yup, I think you've nailed it, none of the characters are really likeable, it's just raw sex and vore. Probably why it hasn't been as popular as the other shorts. From the commissions I've seen of Talash, he make his character as sort of a mean and powerful dragon without much charisma... maybe I couldn't bring myself to create a likable character just to be killed off by her. I dunno. tbh I just thought the basic setup seemed kind of hot. I do enjoy seeing dumb/overconfident/etc. prey in vore, even if I myself associate with the prey in general, as it makes for good story plotlines (they get what's coming to them, or at least make the vore somewhat less tragic.)
As a writer I feel I should get beyond my own likes... I prefer willing and loving vore a lot more, but I want to be flexible and able to tackle different subject matters. This was definitely one of those stories, but as you say the important thing was that the commissioner was happy with it, though I'm glad you commented because it cleared some confusion up I had about why the story wasn't getting much attention.
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Posted by juicefox 12 years ago Report
No problem. It's actually a wonder how we like any of each others stories seeing as I'm into unwilling and you're into willing.
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Posted by Scratch 12 years ago Report
What I really like in vore is the sense of total domination of one character over the other, and the physical interaction of being swallowed. A lot of things can highlight that, but it certainly takes good writing or thoughtful approaches to poses/panels in art, and your writing and your depth in how you get to the vore really does that well. Where we differ I think is that I usually have characters that are either willing (submissive) and accept the natural order of being eaten, or are lead to that stage, whereas your stories seem to never get to that point, your characters retaining more or less the will to live, which does make the domination aspect even more powerful but to be honest isn't what I would prefer. It doesn't mean I don't like the story though, as 1)I have a stomach for things I don't 100% dig and 2) the quality is really what I'm looking for, not just a fetish bucket list.
Actually considering that I'm kind of surprised you didn't like this one. I always thought your First Time was sort of a vorish version of rape since the rabbit never even becomes aroused as he's eaten, and has to be tricked... it's all sorts of nasty devaluation of his character in that story, which does make it more poignant and powerful but at the same time makes it a bit of a harsh story.
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Posted by juicefox 12 years ago Report
Like I said before, I take the role of the prey and I like to think of myself as a relatively good guy. I can't empathise with a rapist so I can't empathise with the prey in this story. I do, however, enjoy selfishness in predators, so It's okay for them to be that way. I don't deserve to die horribly so I have a lot of trouble putting myself into the story if the prey does.
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Posted by Indighost 12 years ago Report
I enjoyed this. Kind of a rough, blue-collar atmosphere for a vore story, which is unusual. Nice descriptions as always. My only complaint: "heritage" is a synonym for "penis" ? :)
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