Expand Add to favorites | Full Size | Download A sensual snack By Sibon13 -- Report A fat voraphile describes one of her delightful experiences. Enjoy!
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Posted by Hagglesmite 15 years ago Report
A very interesting story, but almost impossible to read from the lack of paragraphs.
Add in some paragraphs, fix the grammar and punctuation, and you'll have a little bit of gold here.
Posted by Sibon13 15 years ago Report
Thank you!
Well,I have a bit of a bad habit not including paragraphs in my stories. All for the worst it seems. As for the grammar and punctuation, I still have a lot to learn. English isn't my first language so that might explain it.
Posted by Hagglesmite 15 years ago Report
Well, start with the new paragraphs first and go from there :P
The easy way to figure out paragraphs: Whenever the perspective changes, or whenever a new person is talking.
If you do that, most of the rest of the story will work much better.
Best of luck!