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A commission for the lovely and charming Aeznon of furaffinity, at http://www.furaffinity.net/user/aeznon/ . Geta( http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6315780/ ) belongs to him, Pangur belongs to Koschei, at http://www.furaffinity.net/user/velociawesome . Thanks to both for actually paying me to use such lovely characters.
Time is running out for Geta. His presentation - yes, the presentation to the rest of the university, counting for 25% of his final mark - is happening tomorrow. And he is not nearly prepared.
At least he has managed to get hold of the empty hall a day before, to rehearse to an invisible audience. But to tell the truth, Geta is still worried about it. Really quite worried.
But it's the least of his problems.
Contains: Anthro fox Blood emotional torture Fantasy Fox Furry griffin griffon Gryphon physical torture Sadistic Swallowing TheGuyWhoKnows Unwilling Graphic Digestion Thunderbird Lightning
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Posted by CharlieC 11 years ago Report
I was a bit worried when you got to the digestion (that's usually where I stop reading; too much gore for me), but you handled it brilliantly. Very nice job.
Posted by TheGuyWhoKnows 11 years ago Report
Aw... thank you! :3
I do quite enjoy digestion, but yeah, I didn't want it to be too gorey. Painful, yes, organs spilling everywhere... not so much.
A feedback request, however: do you (and anyone else who's reading this) feel that this story and these characters were properly different from TTOT? Same species, a sadistic predator, magical abilities... I was worried that they might come out a bit samey. Thoughts, anyone?
Posted by CharlieC 11 years ago Report
That was actually an impression I got early on in the story, that it was going to be pretty similar. And for a second, it looked like it was going to be. But once the characters' personalities began to show through, it felt different enough.
Geta seems more aggressive than Alex does, and he also comes across as more easily flustered. I especially liked the part where he sees Pangur for the first time, and one of his first questions is "What's with the hat?" Not "What are you?" or "Where did you come from?" -- he wanted to know about the weird hat. More than anything else, this stuck out to me as a big part of Geta's character.
On to Pangur himself, I have to admit, his personality does seem pretty close to Damian's. He seems far more sadistic, though; say what you will about Damian, at least he allows Alex to die before he's digested. I also got the impression that Pangur's motivation for hunting Geta wasn't based on an interest in his prey, but more about his prey's interest in him. A nice little reversal there.
Posted by TheGuyWhoKnows 11 years ago Report
He's not my character, but considering I just wrote 8,697 words about him, I'd say I can say that you're pretty much right about Pangur. He's more out for the amusing and ironic nature of the situation, less about who his prey is. The thing is that he doesn't so much notice or care about what he's doing: he knows that Geta is suffering excruciating pain, but is more concerned with the fox squirming for him. He's a bit derpy, to tell the truth (in fact, that's exactly how Aeznon described him in the refs...XD)
The hat was fun to play with. I have no idea how it managed ot stay on his head with all the rolling and pouncing. And... inventor of top hats? That's just badass.
Posted by TheGuyWhoKnows 11 years ago Report
As for his relative sadism compared to Damian's... it's not exactly a lack of desire that makes Damian decide to give his prey that terrible peace before digestion begins, but more the way that he views the act of swallowing to be almost a sacred experience. By making it the final part of his... games, he elevates it's importance both to him and to his victim, ensuring that it's as terrifying to his prey as possible, and so as exquisite as possible to him. The gryphon certainly wouldn't be above digesting Alex alive, mind, if he felt a particularly strong desire to cause the fox pain.
Pangur, on the other hand, is far less interested in the psychological aspects, and is more interested in his prey squirming for as long as possible. >:3
Posted by Syndrome 11 years ago Report
Brutal! But very nice! I did quite enjoy Pangur's brutality.
Posted by TheGuyWhoKnows 11 years ago Report
Thank you! I'm hoping I might be able to do another story with him at some point...
Posted by Syndrome 11 years ago Report
I'd love to see what you guys come up with.
Posted by nephilim 11 years ago Report
Let me just say.... I love that the Gryphon is wearing a hat. And 'miasma' - that is a most excellent word. I had it in one of my rough drafts just the other day and wasn't sure whether to keep it in or not.
I loved the story. And I suddenly feel inspired to do a very gruesome and painful digestion scene that's a little more extensive, like yours was.
I did get a feel of the characters being different. The whole thunderbird twist was brilliant; natural luminescence and jade coloring, that was such an awesome addition. And adding breath to the belly to prolong the torture? .....I need to borrow that somehow lol!
Great job.
Posted by eatmeplease 11 years ago Report
Awesome! Pangur sounds like someone I'd love to meet! ;)
Posted by TheGuyWhoKnows 11 years ago Report
I'm sure he'd love to meet you too. He is a very friendly fellow, after all.
Posted by eatmeplease 11 years ago Report
And he's so cute and fluffy!
Posted by TheGuyWhoKnows 11 years ago Report
On the outside, at least - although "cute" is hard to apply to a multi-tonne monster like he is. :P On the inside, it's mainly slimy and burny. :3
Posted by eatmeplease 11 years ago Report
Well, generally fluffiness makes one seem cute. He could probably use it to his advantage.
Posted by TheGuyWhoKnows 11 years ago Report
He is that kind of fellow... *Pangur bats his eyelashes at you*
Posted by eatmeplease 11 years ago Report
Yes, he's a lovely pred. *gives him a nuzzle*
Posted by TheGuyWhoKnows 11 years ago Report
*Pangur purrs* Oh, very friendly. Thank you... *Hs eyes gleam* You are aware I'm going to kill you, of course?
Posted by eatmeplease 11 years ago Report
*smiles* You're welcome. And yes, this one is quite aware of that.