That was incredibly overwhelming. It's certainly challenging to write in the present tense, but when it's done right, it creates an incredible emotional thrust that wouldn't otherwise be there.
You handled it really well
I am a fan of taking the familiar and casting it in a disturbing light. I love how you did just that, and since it's through the lens of the female's perspective, it makes it that much richer and that much more satisfying. As her senses sharpen, so does the narrative. I love the dramatic irony as she plays "catch up" with the reader. We know she's on a plate, and your writing was so impeccable for this piece, we can intuitively sense it's a fork - to be able to guide the expectations of the reader is a fine gift indeed (:
I loved your syntax, your language, and how you structured the scene. The hook at the very beginning grabs one's attention, and does not let go until the end.
Well done! I really liked it. You're treading that fine line of morbid and ghastly poetic, and that's not easy to do!
It reminds me a little bit of my one shot "The Artist / Painted Reflection"; so I have an even more emotional connection to this vignette. I loved it.
Ahhh wowowwow thank you! Those are all things that I was sort of going for, but I am really out of it today so I'm glad they still got through, and even happier that you noticed themmm. c:
And I'm also glad you like my syntax! I really wasn't sure about it, haha.
Ohh, and the tone and vignette type style was definitely inspired by your one shot. :D that and that this was loosely based around a dream, and dreams tend to be like that. And yay for sexy! I can only find gory type things like this attractive in an incredibly masochistic, gut-churning "god this is awful but I'm still going" sort of way. But maybe I'm the only one? xD
I can only find gory type things like this attractive in an incredibly masochistic, gut-churning "god this is awful but I'm still going" sort of way.
===
Yes, LOL. Pretty much. I don't think it's so much the actual GORE itself that I find sexy - maybe a tiny bit? - but more of the predator's behavior; it's a reflection on him and how ruthless and uncaring he is. Which makes him the epitome of dominating and controlling
Yesss, exactly. But for me it's not about being uncaring... Or at least not in all ways. It can't really even be called that if every move that the attacker makes is thought out through and through specifically to see certain responses from his victim. >:3
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Posted by nephilim 14 years ago Report
That was incredibly overwhelming. It's certainly challenging to write in the present tense, but when it's done right, it creates an incredible emotional thrust that wouldn't otherwise be there.
You handled it really well
I am a fan of taking the familiar and casting it in a disturbing light. I love how you did just that, and since it's through the lens of the female's perspective, it makes it that much richer and that much more satisfying. As her senses sharpen, so does the narrative. I love the dramatic irony as she plays "catch up" with the reader. We know she's on a plate, and your writing was so impeccable for this piece, we can intuitively sense it's a fork - to be able to guide the expectations of the reader is a fine gift indeed (:
I loved your syntax, your language, and how you structured the scene. The hook at the very beginning grabs one's attention, and does not let go until the end.
Well done! I really liked it. You're treading that fine line of morbid and ghastly poetic, and that's not easy to do!
It reminds me a little bit of my one shot "The Artist / Painted Reflection"; so I have an even more emotional connection to this vignette. I loved it.
Posted by nephilim 14 years ago Report
Oh, and it was sexy. Did I mention that? Lol. Really sexy ~
Posted by tangent 14 years ago Report
Ahhh wowowwow thank you! Those are all things that I was sort of going for, but I am really out of it today so I'm glad they still got through, and even happier that you noticed themmm. c:
And I'm also glad you like my syntax! I really wasn't sure about it, haha.
Ohh, and the tone and vignette type style was definitely inspired by your one shot. :D that and that this was loosely based around a dream, and dreams tend to be like that. And yay for sexy! I can only find gory type things like this attractive in an incredibly masochistic, gut-churning "god this is awful but I'm still going" sort of way. But maybe I'm the only one? xD
Posted by nephilim 14 years ago Report
I can only find gory type things like this attractive in an incredibly masochistic, gut-churning "god this is awful but I'm still going" sort of way.
===
Yes, LOL. Pretty much. I don't think it's so much the actual GORE itself that I find sexy - maybe a tiny bit? - but more of the predator's behavior; it's a reflection on him and how ruthless and uncaring he is. Which makes him the epitome of dominating and controlling
Posted by tangent 14 years ago Report
Yesss, exactly. But for me it's not about being uncaring... Or at least not in all ways. It can't really even be called that if every move that the attacker makes is thought out through and through specifically to see certain responses from his victim. >:3
It's caring a lot, but about her painn.
Posted by nephilim 14 years ago Report
Heartless, then (;
Posted by nephilim 14 years ago Report
God I love this. I just read it again.
Posted by tangent 14 years ago Report
c':