Posted by Marked 11 years ago Report

A fine tale! Allow me to be the first to say that even if this is a gift story, it was nicely written and full of interesting ideas. I have no complaints for a story that trades gratuitous and explicit vore for a more meaningful discussion of what an impact the act of eating another can have.

I found the character that most fascinated me was Black Leg John... I kinda want to read a story about his younger days now, even if it had nothing to do with vore. Lol

Out of curiosity, was the idea of the "backpack"ship our own, or Karbo's. I've never read anything like it before but such a fresh idea was amazing to see put into a story.

So thanks for sharing. Hope that you are well received in the contest!

Posted by Lum_the_mad 11 years ago Report

This comment made my day :D To answer some of your questions, the backpack was indeed mostly Karbo's idea. http://browse.deviantart.com/?q=becky+mermaid#/d5fgtot That's the inspiration for the whole story the contest is based upon.

I also find it interesting that you found the most interesting character to be Black Leg John, because he was also my sister's favorite. ^^ His story actually does involve a little bit of vore, and quite a bit of tragedy. I might right a prequel with him someday if I'm feeling particularly ambitious. >:3

I have high hopes about maybe actually being able to win this contest, but some of my competition is REALLY talented. xD But thank you so much for your comment, I was feeling a bit down today, and this was just the pick me up I needed. I'm glad you were able to enjoy it, and hopefully you'll be able to see a bit more from me in the future.

Posted by Karbo 11 years ago Report

That was a nice story :D
You did a nice job at portraying the different character and that love between Becky and Aiden was pretty sweet ^_^ Great job !

Posted by Lum_the_mad 11 years ago Report

Thank you so much Karbo <3 If nothing else I am overjoyed that you were able to enjoy one of my stories. Hopefully you liked it as much as I liked your manga tomes :3

Posted by PrinnyDood 11 years ago Report

Sorry it took me so long to finally read this, but finishing up my own entry was taking pretty much all my free time until now, and I kinda have a rule about not reading other contest entries until mine is done, so I don't subconsciously steal ideas or anything. >_<

Anyway, this was good and the interactions between Becky and Aiden were rather adorable. You did well in capturing the spirit of Felarya despite it being (I think) your first foray into the setting. And you managed to put it together at a speed I can only be envious of. xD

All three of the principle characters (Becky, Aiden and John) were distinct and well-realized, making all of their interactions quite interesting and fun. I almost regret that John didn't get the chance to give Aiden any 'women advice' in the story, since it wound have no-doubt been quite amusing, but obviously keeping the pacing tight is a more vital concern.

The only concrete criticisms I can give are that there were a few places of 'tell' rather than 'show', and a couple typos: "Aiden's choked u

Posted by Lum_the_mad 11 years ago Report

Thank you very much Dood :D I can agree that it's a very good policy to keep, because that's the reason why I couldn't write in a second contest entry ^^; I had ended up reading the story from the man with an 80 page contest entry, and after that I was like, "Ooh! That was good, I should incorporate some of... oh wait."

You are correct though, this is indeed my first time using the Felarya setting. :3 I've always been quite a fan of all the Felerya works though, because they are usually much more lighthearted vore stories. I do regret the typos I had at the end of the story... I sort of felt a bit rushed towards the end because I hadn't known of Karbo's extension of the deadline, which I see you took full advantage of. Originally I was going to incorporate an entire battle scene against the other ship, and more interactions with Bree, but there simply hadn't been the time or motivation to write it out ^^;

I'm so glad to have heard from you, although I had originally hoping to have heard from you before the deadline so that I could have gotten a little help from you. I suppose it's a bit more fair this way though, since we're both trying to win this contest after all. >:3 Seriously though, I'm really glad that you liked my story, and I'm really looking forward to checking out your story as well! I've found I really love writing fluffy, happy, heartwarming stories the best. ^_^

Posted by PrinnyDood 11 years ago Report

Yeah, sorry about being so late to the punch there, and that you missed the announcement about the extended deadline. The good rule of thumb is that Karbo almost always extends the deadline once, and often a second time, being the inclusive, benevolent sort that he is. If he hadn't, I probably wouldn't have gotten to participate at all. ^^;

And yeah, I just started in reading that 80-pager you mentioned, and judging by the initial quality there, I think we may all be in a bit of trouble trying to compete with that fellow. xD

And I'm glad you've found your writing 'niche' so to speak, and there's certainly plenty of room for stuff of that genre in Felarya, should you choose to stick around in the setting. My own niche seems to be fairly dark humor + shameless vore, which is also an easy fit for Felarya. :3

Posted by Lum_the_mad 11 years ago Report

I did finally track down your DeviantArt page, and read the first half of your story. It's really, VERY good so far. I'm pretty worried that I won't even come in second place now, although it was still worth the shot. ^^; It's a shame cause I had so many ideas bouncing around in my head of what I could ask Karbo to draw for me.

At some point I'm going to have to write you a more detailed review on your story, but I've been so busy with some RPing lately that I haven't had much time/energy. (And it's actually not vore RPing surprisingly enough.) It's really been helping with my writing skills though, and I've actually improved quite a bit in the smut category of writing as well. From what some of my lady friends have told me anyways. >_>

I do rather like the setting of Felarya to be quite honest, although usually I prefer a more old school dungeons and dragons style setting for my stories. But there's a lot to be said for Karbo's world, which tends to put a much lighter and happier spin on vore than your traditional horror stories.

Someday, I hope to be as good at writing shameless vore as you are. xD I particularly loved the part with your Neko and the tinies in the first half. That and the elves thinking they could conquer all of Felarya. Gotta love the sheer arrogance of off worlders, and when they get their come uppances. Haven't read the second half as I said though, so I'll be sure to getting around to reading it in a bit. ^_^

Posted by PrinnyDood 11 years ago Report

Oh yeah, sorry I can be tough to track down. I suppose you must have a DA account too given that you entered the contest. ;P

Yeah, given the relatively small number of entries (there were like, close to 100 I think in the previous general contest years ago) I wasn't feeling *to* bad about my chances of placing, having read a few, that may just be because there are enough ridiculously good entries that most were intimidated to compete. Not me though, I didn't read anything until mine was done, and I usually don't fret about winning or losing anyway; I do it for the challenge! That said, I doubt I'll even get 2nd place, at this point. xD

Yeah, I have a weakness for the D&D stuff myself, I was actually a DM many years ago to a small group of mostly girls, if you can believe that. Before you get jealous though, the three ladies in question were 11, 14, and late fifties + married I think, so no nerd babes. -_- Still, was nice to see the usual demographic shaken up.

And now that you mention shameless vore, I don't think I've ever done a shameless giantess vore story. I've done ones with shameless giantess vore *in* them, but never where it was the central thing. May have to make time for that sometime . . .

Posted by ClosetedTiny 2 years ago Report

I loved reading this! I know it is 8 years old, but I remember seeing the image that inspired this story and saving it in my Inspiration folder, planning on writing a story from it as well!

But it looks like I am too late, we already have a masterpiece right here! Thank you for sharing this with us!

Posted by Lum_the_mad 2 years ago Report

ASDGHHJSNHROSNP

THANK YOU! >/////<

I know the story is 8 years old, but it's still nice to hear people appreciate my old work!