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Broken Pact of the Dragon Divers part 4 By DrakeZephyr -- Report

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While rays of hope have been cast upon Jace's future, as he grows to like the dragoness he is paired with, the day of the real dive approaches, and a new training regime come to cast shadows through Jace's psyche once more.

With this stage reached, I believe there will be three more chapters after this one, unless something occurs to me to make me extend it.

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e2s86

Posted by e2s86 10 years ago Report

nice

DrakeZephyr

Posted by DrakeZephyr 10 years ago Report

glad you approve ^.=.^

Mark

Posted by Mark 10 years ago Report

One detail that caught my attention: Sunset's trying to keep being female something of a secret from the humans, right? And yet, once Jace lets the pronoun slip out (after catching himself the first time in this chapter, even), everybody else who's referred to her as a male dragon before suddenly and smoothly also switches to calling her 'her' and 'she' as though that was the most normal thing in the world without even a moment of surprise...

Could be a slip of the virtual pen, could also be that there's a reason for that that hasn't come up yet. You tell us. :)

DrakeZephyr

Posted by DrakeZephyr 10 years ago Report

Um, it's quite possible I may have slipped somewhere, I know I've caught a lot of slips, enough that I almost just had the secret largely unveiled to end the issues... to be clear, both Jace, and Peter are aware, but they're the only ones... the reason for Peter knowing so very much might be later revealed, but I hope I haven't made too many mistakes with other people...

Mark

Posted by Mark 10 years ago Report

Well, what caught me first was the instructor's "Calm yourself, kid" line. "ou'll get up safely unless *she* swallows" -- and this is the same guy who called Sunset "he" just a bit earlier in the very same conversation. After that, you could say I paid more attention. :)

DrakeZephyr

Posted by DrakeZephyr 10 years ago Report

darn... well that would be a slip up, sorry about that... I try to get it right, but it's getting harder to refer to Sunset as "he" so rarely now... in all honesty, even in the first chapter when nobody but me knew Sunset was female, I was still catching my own slip-ups... I am a little peeved, because I proofread it, but, I guess I'm less likely to notice some of my own mistakes, when... technically it's a correct statement ^^; only the speaker is meant to be fooled... I get those mistakes more often than I'd like

booleanTrue

Posted by booleanTrue 10 years ago Report

Have you tried using ctrl+f and ctrl+h to search for and/or replace certain text?

DrakeZephyr

Posted by DrakeZephyr 10 years ago Report

Can't say I have... maybe it's an idea to try, though I see it taking time to search through all the correct uses, and to pinpoint when it's wrong... since I read through every word, the fact it escaped me the first time, makes me wonder if I'd really notice even if I hopped to each section...

booleanTrue

Posted by booleanTrue 10 years ago Report

You most likely would. MS Word goes to each instance of the selected text and highlights it, one at a time, for you to scroll through. You may want to play around with including spaces either before or after the word so you don't come up with every instance of "the" when searching for "he".

DrakeZephyr

Posted by DrakeZephyr 10 years ago Report

I'll consider it

Littledude

Posted by Littledude 10 years ago Report

Pretty sure you could classify this as soft vore, he went down the pred's throat, just didn't reach the belly :D

Jace's reaction to diving down the mouth of a predator was pretty understandable. It was also good to hear some backstory on the origin of the event. Given how Sunset reacted to his distress with concern, I'm thinking she's not as willing to eat him as she claims.

DrakeZephyr

Posted by DrakeZephyr 10 years ago Report

Didn't I class this as soft vore already? I figured the same as you.

I felt it was appropriate to try and push just how... unnerving, and disturbing such an event as diving into a dragon could be, though, by definition, it would be near impossible to understand without actually having done it... but, as to Sunset ^.=.^ I do like a little bit of mystery to my dragons, but all will be revealed, in time

Greennyy

Posted by Greennyy 10 years ago Report

Wow. Just... wow. Awesome read, beautiful story writing, and vibrant wording... just wow.

DrakeZephyr

Posted by DrakeZephyr 10 years ago Report

Glad you enjoyed it ^.=.^

dragon_lady

Posted by dragon_lady 10 years ago Report

Hmmmm Jace, may end up getting the hang of jumping into Sunsets maw, hopefuly anyway. But thevway you wrote him leaping into her jaws and into her throat, left me with visions of him in Sunsets throat. Jace may also want to take Peter's advice, hes gonna need it. Cant wait for the next one hun ^.=.^

DrakeZephyr

Posted by DrakeZephyr 10 years ago Report

Jace is going to need all the luck he can get ^^; a tricky path is before him, but I'll try to reveal how things go before too long, between other commitments

Skittles209

Posted by Skittles209 10 years ago Report

Yay for the continuation. So many comments. Some are picky.

DrakeZephyr

Posted by DrakeZephyr 10 years ago Report

Glad you liked it