Posted by Bright 8 years ago Report

Ooh, that was an interesting concept.

Posted by marloweny 8 years ago Report

Thanks! It was sort of developed in collaboration with Grababag

Posted by Uryx 8 years ago Report

Hahaha, love it~ I wouldn't mind more like this to be honest!

Posted by marloweny 8 years ago Report

It's not generally to my taste to go this dark, but it's fun to stretch my boundaries from time to time.

Posted by Uryx 8 years ago Report

I understand what you mean. Personally, I'm a fan of turnabout play, where the victim (even if they're someone who deserves the karmic retribution) does the "impossible" and turns things around.

Using this as some example, if Jane, after being turned into goo, DID manage to consolidate into a goo-being and fight back in spite of her non-solid form (or perhaps helped by it).

Posted by ShadesofBlack 8 years ago Report

While I generally love this idea too... marloweny also did a really good job of painting John, er, Jane, as a total scumbag. He pretty obviously got the connection hooked up for him by someone who would be just as happy to see him gone, but he also pretty obviously deserved it. Bravo on the writing here again!

I might offer a variation of this idea as a suggestion myself, either as head-canon or if you take an interest in writing more. What if out of all of him/her that is left... 1 milkshake basically managed to do this. A single milkshake, maybe even half-drunk, the last of her no longer being distracted by all the intense feelings of the whole rest of her being, managed to pull together into a goo-girl (or possibly sometimes boy, that being his mental gender) and beg for mercy from the customer after they left the store. It could be a healthy thing for her mentality, learning how things are on the helpless or weaker end of things, and having to lean on someone else's compassion. And I imagine that if someone cared for her, she might become fiercely protective of that person/persons if she managed to regain her lost mass. Alternatively, she might pretend for a while before showing her "true colors" and then get the last of herself drunk away.

Posted by marloweny 8 years ago Report

It's interesting, the "scumbag" characterization was the result of a rewrite at the request of grababag. Initially s/he was more naive and oblivious to the consequences of his actions.

If there was to be a sequel, I like your idea. Good stuff.

Posted by ShadesofBlack 8 years ago Report

Bravo!
Before his true fate was revealed, I kept speculating on what they were actually going to do to him, having completely spaced that you already gave an obvious hint at it.
I wondered if maybe they took the "subsidized" (I read as a strong hint to the doctor that the subject was a dangerous criminal) patients, and used them as breast enhancement matter in a similar way to the bad guys in the HDTF story, but for patients going through sex-reassignment surgery for legitimate reasons (aka being transgender.)