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That Hateful Distance By Belloc -- Report

Uploaded: 2 years ago

Views: 3,412

File size: 118.00 KiB

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Comments: 61

Favorites: 73

A commission for  Randomness.

WARNING: Sad.

UPDATE: The story has been somewhat revised from its original version. Nothing has been taken out, there's only been a slight change of pacing (one scene from early on now occurs in somewhat different circumstances towards the end) and a few scenes have been added. This is to expand the story a bit and provide something of an epilogue. Hope ya'll enjoy!

A naga is hunting for a meal in the dead of winter. She finds a deer out foraging and attacks, biting the doe. However, before she can constrict her, the naga realizes the doe is someone she knows. An old friend. And now, she's dying of poison.

Not going to lie: this is probably the saddest thing I've written. Vore is kept to a VERY minimum and instead the focus is on pred/prey relationships and conflicting emotions. And I adore it. This was a wonder to write, and I'm very pleased with how it turned out. I hope you are too. Let me know what you think. :)

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Comments
Randomness

Posted by Randomness 2 years ago Report

I have read almost everything you've written, commissioned three seperate stories and have favorited a good chunk of your work.

And hands down, without a doubt, I feel this is the best thing you have written. Even as sad as the story is, it resonates as something /pure/. It isn't hunger, sexual desire or most of the subjects vore stories are written about. It's a story of two creatures stumbling about in a world that forces them to accept who they are; trying to make sense of it all.

Needless to say, you'be made me quite happy with this story. :)

Belloc

Posted by Belloc 2 years ago Report

I can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate this comment. :) Thank you so much!

illirium

Posted by illirium 2 years ago Report

I am glad you commissioned this from Belloc, it is such an awesome story! :P

Belloc

Posted by Belloc 2 years ago Report

Glad you like it! I'm also quite happy she commished. xD

Randomness

Posted by Randomness 2 years ago Report

D'awwwww! Thanks so much! And this is a story I consistently revisit (I mean, I commissioned several art pieces of the story) and am so proud of the work Belloc did. :) I am glad you enjoyed! And who knows, maybe I can convince Belloc to do a little side story commission of Neshei and Linna's adventures. ;)

illirium

Posted by illirium 2 years ago Report

Yes please! :D Or about Neshei II and Naln? Maybe things will work out better for them! :D I... I mean, they *might*, right? D:

Randomness

Posted by Randomness 2 years ago Report

Knowing me?
...
...
No. XD My guess would be Naln wouldn't be eaten and killed by Neshei; I am picturing him being captured by another naga, and Neshei (2) stumbles on to the scene. She begs and begs for Naln to be let go, but the other predator doesn't understand or thinks she is joking, so she quickly kills Naln.

You know. Nice. :3

EnderDracolich

Posted by EnderDracolich 3 months ago Report

" It's a story of two creatures stumbling about in a world that forces them to accept who they are"

It's funny, you are the commissioner of this piece, and so you should know what the message is, but nonetheless what I get from reading this piece is very different from what you say above!

When I read this piece, I don't see two characters who submit to what the world want's them to be, rather I see two characters who resist. Reading this, it never seems like they really accept the roles the world tells them to accept; they assent maybe, but never to the point where they stop struggling internally.

In fact, I'd go so far as to say this piece is a story about free will. I mean sure, Neshei and Linna never quite overcome their nature, but then again who does?

I guess art really is in the eye of the beholder. I love this piece, and the characters, but the takeaway for me is quite different from what you envisioned.

Belloc

Posted by Belloc 3 months ago Report

Death of the author. My word isn't law so you don't have to take my interpretation. Glad you enjoyed it either way!

Kuro762

Posted by Kuro762 2 years ago Report

Wow

Belloc

Posted by Belloc 2 years ago Report

^^

FireGirl

Posted by FireGirl 2 years ago Report

Holy.

Whelp, this has me curled up into a little ball of blankets and whimpers and hot chocolate.

And trust me, that is a good thing.

Belloc

Posted by Belloc 2 years ago Report

Thank you so much. :) Honestly, that's the exact reaction I was hoping for. >_<

FireGirl

Posted by FireGirl 2 years ago Report

Clearly this isn't a story for everyone (some people don't like emotions on their fetish sites. Bleh!) but I appreciate this kind of content.

I look forward to seeing more works of this caliber in the future. Thank you.

Belloc

Posted by Belloc 2 years ago Report

Yeah, not everyone goes in for the emotional side of vore and pred/prey relationships. That's okay. ^^ But I certainly like it; glad you do to. :) I definitely hope to explore these themes again.

Brenden1k

Posted by Brenden1k 2 years ago Report

Is the bunny recarnation of the deer?

Belloc

Posted by Belloc 2 years ago Report

That's one way you could look at it!

EnderDracolich

Posted by EnderDracolich 3 months ago Report

I certainly like to think there's some continuity there, probably because I'm very spiritual IRL. Maybe she's the bunny, maybe she's the Naga who took her name, or maybe she really did become a big, tall, tree.

theeshyguy

Posted by theeshyguy 2 years ago Report

This is such a good story. I LOVE it. Teared up the first time I read it.

Belloc

Posted by Belloc 2 years ago Report

Thanks! Glad you liked it.

mouth111

Posted by mouth111 2 years ago Report

that was super sad. hopefully neshai jr has a more happy story

Belloc

Posted by Belloc 2 years ago Report

It's certainly a harsh world. But there's always hope. ^^

x9comega

Posted by x9comega 2 years ago Report

Hmmm...

Belloc

Posted by Belloc 2 years ago Report

Hmmhmm.

Blackheartedreaper2

Posted by Blackheartedreaper2 2 years ago Report

You sir have moved my soul. Definitely watching you.

Belloc

Posted by Belloc 2 years ago Report

Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed.

HypnoBitch

Posted by HypnoBitch 2 years ago Report

Aww crap.... I have the feels... WHY WOULD YOU GIVE ME THE FEELS?! ;-;

Belloc

Posted by Belloc 2 years ago Report

You're welcome~ ^_^

MolenarVincaros

Posted by MolenarVincaros 2 years ago Report

And on that last line, i crumple into a ball and the waterworks start to flow even harder. Well done, incredible emotional story.

Belloc

Posted by Belloc 2 years ago Report

Thank you! I appreciate that. :)

illirium

Posted by illirium 2 years ago Report

I just found this story from the illustration Aesir did for it (at https://aryion.com/g4/view/397250) and I'm so glad I did! This is really well-written and does an awesome job packing an emotional punch. :) This is exactly the kind of story I like, where there's a close emotional bond between the pred and prey and we get to explore the painful struggle between their feelings for each other and the natural conflict between them. I must be some sort of masochist, liking stories that want to hurt me so badly. :P The epilogue at the end especially is a nice conclusion, with Linna's daughter and the call-back to the conversation she had with Neshei about families when they were kids. Well maybe 'nice' isn't the right word, with all the right-in-the-feels-eyness, but... it works great. :)

Belloc

Posted by Belloc 2 years ago Report

Thanks so much. :) I'm glad you enjoyed it. It is definitely a story aimed at the feels. xD

Comment deleted by its author.

MechaSharkZilla

Posted by MechaSharkZilla 2 years ago Report

Oof. There goes my heart. As someone with a love for depressing stories, this one got me good. I didn't expect a story of this caliber on a fetish website, that's for sure. Seriously well done.

(Now for me to desperately believe that everything goes fine and dandy for everyone ever in that universe after this point)

Belloc

Posted by Belloc 2 years ago Report

Thanks~ I'm glad you liked it.

Itsuune

Posted by Itsuune 2 years ago Report

Very well written, gave me a lump in my throat. Great subject too, reminds of how we're all just trying to keep alive and how precious and fleeting the threads that bind us are. Well done Belloc and great idea, Randomness!

Belloc

Posted by Belloc 2 years ago Report

Thank you, Itsuune! Mmhmm. Life can be very fragile. >_< I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Itsuune

Posted by Itsuune 2 years ago Report

Salut! c:

Randomness

Posted by Randomness 2 years ago Report

Thank you! :D Glad you enjoyed it.

Especially the tummy ache scene. :3

Itsuune

Posted by Itsuune 2 years ago Report

Oh, my reputation preceeds me, it seems c: Yes, I did pay special attention to that lil detail! Well played cx

Randomness

Posted by Randomness 2 years ago Report

I cannot take credit; Belloc is the one who did all the work. :3

ResistantMerc

Posted by ResistantMerc 1 year ago Report

Made me cry 10/10 would read again

ResistantMerc

Posted by ResistantMerc 1 year ago Report

Wait, did the naga take the deer girls name at the end?

Belloc

Posted by Belloc 1 year ago Report

Thank you! And it's implied to be the naga's daughter. :)

DimensionalKitty

Posted by DimensionalKitty 1 year ago Report

I know this is late but fuck i read this a few weeks after it came out but never finished it. Now i need some videos to cheer me up. Thanks alot
But in all seriousness good job

Belloc

Posted by Belloc 1 year ago Report

I'm glad you liked it! :)

TheSoulessGem

Posted by TheSoulessGem 1 year ago Report

Reading this again, it is still my favourite piece of work on this website. Sorry for the super late response. Amazing.

Belloc

Posted by Belloc 1 year ago Report

Thanks so much! I'm glad. :)

right2fail

Posted by right2fail 1 year ago Report

This is probably my davorite piece of writing on this entire website. I feel like there's so much potential for drama and tragedy when you involve sapient beings who must prey on eachother to survive, that sadly goes largely unexplored by the majority of this community, but you have captured it beautifully. I feel like this is the exact sort of story I've been wanting to read for years, but I was never able to find it, until now. Well done.

Belloc

Posted by Belloc 1 year ago Report

Thank you so much! I appreciate the compliments, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

right2fail

Posted by right2fail 1 year ago Report

It has occurred to me that Linna seemed to want to kill her prey with venom and constriction, rather than swallowing them alive, even before she recognized her prey as her long lost friend. Maybe her long friendship with Neshei gave her an iota of sympathy for her prey's plight?

Belloc

Posted by Belloc 1 year ago Report

Quite possible. I'm sure such an event in childhood would be very formative for the pred.

Randomness

Posted by Randomness 1 year ago Report

Or was it that, in her youth, she wasn't strong enough to actually kill her prey with venom? Did she develop sympathy towards her prey, or was she changing her hunting tactics as she grew older? Questions, questions.

I do however like to imagine that, after she ended her friendship with Neshei, Linna tried to make friends with another prey... Which of course was a disaster. Hard to talk to someone when they are scared for their life. :D

EnderDracolich

Posted by EnderDracolich 3 months ago Report

At first, the epilouge was jarring, because I was like

'why do I care about some random Naga and Rabbit? I'm invested in Neshei and Linna, dammit!'

Then that last line hit like a load of bricks; it was an 'oh... oh shit' moment that tied the whole thing together and brought the story to a perfect close.

EnderDracolich

Posted by EnderDracolich 3 months ago Report

Actually, there were several lines that really punch hard in this story; the titular line about the 'hateful distance' and what Linna says then, for example, or the last scene between the two before the epilogue.

Belloc

Posted by Belloc 3 months ago Report

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. ^^