Archive > JackNoName > 2. A Voress World > A Visit From an Old Friend
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A Visit From an Old Friend By JackNoName

Commission for Anon2727

Set in the voress universe, two old college friends meet up again after years of silence. What was supposed to be just a friendly visit ends in horror when a good hearted mother invites her voress friend over on a sunny day.

Other stories from ''A Voress World'': https://aryion.com/g4/view/335845

Watch out, this story has quite some brutal scenes in it with a bit of gore and a heavy scat scene. I labeled the scat scene within the story so you can still read through it without encountering any of it ;)

If you like it, don’t hesitate to drop me a line or give me some good, hard feedback! A watch and/or fave are really good motivators too!

Stay smutty,
JNN

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Comments
JackNoName

Posted by JackNoName 1 year ago

I'm really sorry for the format. I tried my best but conquering the RNG of story formatting on Eka's is a real challenge. Hope you liked it non the less :) I really wanted to upload this today.

Cheers.

Nevek

Posted by Nevek 1 year ago

Well written.

Scion

Posted by Scion 1 year ago

Nice! Really liked it :)

JackNoName

Posted by JackNoName 1 year ago

Thanks ^^

Straxacore

Posted by Straxacore 1 year ago

Very good story ^_^

JackNoName

Posted by JackNoName 1 year ago

:) Thanks, what scene did you like the most?

Straxacore

Posted by Straxacore 1 year ago

Friends daughter + Butt burp = Yes please ^_^

JackNoName

Posted by JackNoName 1 year ago

Haha, yeah i liked that too. I don't really like the word "fart" and thougt "bottom burp" was just cuter :p

Straxacore

Posted by Straxacore 1 year ago

Its perfect for the character too ^_^

JackNoName

Posted by JackNoName 1 year ago

Because Rochel is such a cutie herself :p? I'm inclined to agree ^^

MrQuarantine

Posted by MrQuarantine 1 year ago

Glad to see you're back in action and uploading again Jack. Overall I thought this story was technically sound with a great attention to detail that I have come to expect from your work. Your keen descriptions of the female form never seem to bore me in the slightest, truly a magnificent talent to be sure. A very notable addition I found myself rather enamored by was the seduction aspect that developed between Toby and Rochelle, albeit even if it was rather on the nose lol. If I'm not mistaken this was in fact your first major use of seduction and I'm pleased to say it was a welcome change. Though I am not complaining, nearly all of your female preds use their physique and gravitas to ascertain their meals. While this is certainly your prerogative I personally find it refreshing that you added another dimension to your writing. Often times I think vore writers forget that female preds have far more tools at their disposal when luring prey, seduction being a key skill among them. I do hope to see such adjustments continue to make an appearance in your further works.





As I mentioned, I did like the story overall, however there were a few aspects that didn't quite sync up very well with the lore you created and established. I feel I should elaborate further to give you a better idea. One of my major issues with the story that admittedly annoyed me was the tone deaf nature of Shannon. The lore you meticulously crafted and spent time developing was nearly entirely lost upon this character in my opinion. In the world you created where giant women can easily snap up regular humans with ease and little repercussion from the law, I found it off putting that a regular human, friend or not would invite a Voress to hang around her family with such little precautions in place.





In the Voress world intro, you made it extremely clear that the phenomenon was global and was very well documented, so there isn't really an excuse to have this character come across as foolish as she did. You even took note to highlight her shortsightedness. I just found it extremely odd to place such a character that doesn't seem to quite fit into your Voress world. All the other stories involving your Voress world have focused on the realistic fear and trauma of having integrated predators in modern day society, yet this character literally sets the stage for tragedy to strike her. She's in the country where there isn't a lot of people to keep attention off her family, no proper food portions to satiate her friend's potential hunger, leaving her kids unsupervised for an extended period of time even though she knows what her friend is, and then legitimately being surprised by the results of her friend's actions at the end? At the start I thought the story was going to break down in a much different manner. After you took the time to mention her divorced husband and continued to relay the lack of preparedness that she displayed dumbfounded me to the point that I began to suspect it was a scheme by Shannon in which she could rid herself of her children and start fresh with a new life. This would have justified all of her absurd actions as being part of her plan which would have made for a far more sensible conclusion. Instead, Shannon just ended up becoming an unsympathetic victim who didn't resonate with me personally. While it might not seem like such a big deal in the grand scheme, I found myself being taken out of the story quite a bit since I was reading this through the characteristics of your Voress world.





Ultimately, I just think this story lacked the realistic setting and awareness that your other Voress stories uphold so well. I am a firm believer that a pred and prey can have a functioning relationship in the vein of lovers, friends, and the like, but the stage has to be set properly for that to occur. I recall praising you quite a bit by stating one the best parts of your School Assignment series was the dynamic between Jake and Sandra. Even though both characters are well aware of the natural order of things and what it means if they aren't careful, they still both have romantic feelings for one another which could work if the necessary precautions are established, I suppose I simply expected something more from a person who is friends with a Voress. Keep in mind I simply wanted to offer my detailed criticism on this story to hopefully help you in the future. If you took any of this personally I apologize in advance as that wasn't my intent. Either way I can't wait to see what you create next. Fingers crossed for the next chapter of the School Assignment!

Comment deleted by its author.

JackNoName

Posted by JackNoName 1 year ago

I took some of your feedback to heart and indeed realized the realism was kind of off. I changed some of the narrative around and think it's much better now.

Shannon simply made a mistake by thinking nothing had changed between the two, that she could still trust her friend. Obviously, grave mistake.

Thanks :)

crushxtreame

Posted by crushxtreame 1 year ago

Frikkin monster

JackNoName

Posted by JackNoName 1 year ago

A bit :3 but for someone called "crushxtreame" it should fit right at home. ;)

Potatomaximus

Posted by Potatomaximus 8 months ago

great story. Although I wish the buttcrushing was portrayed in a smothering sense. As in emphasizing one being smothered between two soft, giant ass cheeks, rather than the crushing aspect if you know what i mean. Either way this is hot stuff.