Posted by Deviantfan16 6 years ago Report

Looks like they'll be retaking there village soon

Posted by BlueMarvel611 6 years ago Report

Hey Nobodyman, good to see you updating your story again in this one. This helps to settle my nerves a bit given my week. Trust me it's been hell. That said on with the review and for me this sounds like the beginning of the end of your story to me. Here we go!

Okay I'll start off with Marunomi for she's the main villain of this story. However in this chapter it shows off a more dark and crazed version of her character. Right as she was enjoying being so full of not just Shizune but also Tenten, she saw Sakura(who too was full of Ino after eating her) and instantly wanted to eat her. Got to admit that within this one chapter alone, Marunomi's sounds like she's finally gone over the edge...or on the verge to be anyways. The way you managed to describe of how Marunomi ate her Sakura clone was rather detailed and it shows just how much Marunomi would be willing to take in order to satisfy her hunger. She has gone up to the point that she's willing to eat up a clone made with with her own literal flesh and bones. Self-cannibalization's something I never expected to see in this one. But also saw how the Sakura clone reacted to becoming a meal for Marunomi's big growing belly...along with the Samui clone. Makes me wonder just how BIG she'll become when taking in more of the "invaders" of the villages. We'll just have to wait and see.

Now onto the girl of the hour...as well as my own personal favorite female kunoichi, Hinata. I got to say, Nobodyman, that you managed to get Hinata's character up but at the same time keeping up with her role in the story. The fight scene here is as amazing as ever what with Hinata fighting both clones of her cousin Neji and her sister Hanabi. Got to say that the psychological mind games Marunomi's playing with Hinata are a dangerous one for our precious princess. Especially given how she used the clone of Neji to mimic and create a clone of Naruto. That must really be crushing for Hinata. Oh thank god for Anko's great timing with her arrival just as "Naruto" was about to eat up Hinata. Also good way of having Anko check to see if Hinata was another clone or not. But...oh boy was Hinata mad at Marunomi in this one. Well even long before the Naruto clone as she seemed rather made that Marunomi would be willing to go so far as to mimic her friends and family just to make it easy...especially with Naruto. Oh there will be hell to pay.

Lastly to put for Kurenai's part, it seemed to be over quickly as she managed to outsmart and maneuver the clones of Kiba and Shino along with Akamaru with using her genjutsu. Heck, even a clone of Asama wasn't enough to deter her as she just gave him a hit on the neck and the clone's nothing but puddle. Boy there will be quite the scene when Kurenai arrives and confronts Marunomi in the next chapter.

All in all this chapter really hits home for Hinata...but also shows just how unstable a hungry Marunomi can be. Makes me wonder if Marunomi's jutsu's drawbacks are going to come sooner or later. Or how the girls would react when seeing a big bellied Marunomi at the Hokage's office? I guess that I'll have to wait for the next chapter to find out. Keep up t he good work and hope to see the next chapter up soon.

Elias Azule
The Blue Marvel

P.S.
Question, any more works you plan to do after this one?

Posted by Nobodyman 6 years ago Report

Thanks for the review as always BlueMarvel. And sorry to hear your having a rough week.

Anyway, yes, I definitely have more story ideas bubbling around in my mind, but which one I write next and when I'll do it I'm not sure. I could go back to my Sailor Moon or Survival of the Fittest story, but I think more likely I'll do an original story. But it all depends on how I feel.

Oh, and thanks again for the watch!

Posted by BlueMarvel611 6 years ago Report

Okay for I'd like to see the original story up...or Survival of the Fittest. Whatever comes to you first. Anyways I forgot to say this in my review before I could have the chance.

I noted one part with Marunomi and that's how you described her stomach. You truly really creep me out with how you made it like a completely different entity of its own. And the fact that it's as hungry as a monster doesn't help...and I like it. You really did good on that paragraph as well as send a chill down my spine on it.

There. Sorry for not reviewing on that part sooner. So hope to see the next chapter up.

Elias Azule
The Blue Marvel

Posted by Flame14 6 years ago Report

I have to admit that I am both sad and happy about this chapter. I'm sure you remember my comments about the last chapter and thus may already know why I might feel both sad and happy.

The sad feeling is from half of me hoping to see a Hinata-stuffed Hanabi awkwardly trying to walk with a belly that was clearly far to big for her. While on the subject, I was wondering if you might be willing to give us an alternative version of Hinata's fight with the Hanabi and Neji clone? Just a sort-of what-if type of chapter piece. I'm thinking Hinata gets beaten, then just to add to the poor girl's torment/fright, Hanabi then strips the defenseless girl down to her underwear before slowly eating Hinata from the feet up. The idea of this being to instill further terror into the Hyuga princess as she is forced to watch as her body slowly disappears into her little sisters, only to end up curled tightly in the younger and smaller girl's stomach.

Hmm, is weird how I want to read about such a horrible moment happening to my favorite female character?

Anyway, while I may be sad at the lack of Hyuga-sister-on-Hyuga-sister vore action, I am quite happy to see Hinata stepping up and laying the smack-down on Marunomi, even if it was just a clone. I'm even more stoked at the fact that Hinata is now one of the only two too have avoided capture and that she is now clearly ready to throw down the gauntlet after learning her Naruto is one of Marunomi's captives.

A question about Marunomi and her clones. If Marunomi is digesting the Samui clone, who also was the one to absorb the real Samui, does that mean Marunomi is digesting the real Samui in real-time as she digests the clone, or will the real Samui fill Marunomi's stomach after the clone is digested?

Oh! Could the clones possibly switch out with the real person they are impersonating while in the stomach? Would make it interesting if they could and after Samui or Sakura are expelled from Marunomi's body they find Kauri and Ino inside their own bellies. Could make the victory somewhat bittersweet and possibly lay the seeds for other girls to be taken in by a similar sense of hunger that Marunomi deals with.

Also wanted to know if there was a particular reason you chose to have Marunomi's victims go unconscious once swallowed rather then have then awake and trying to struggle? Marunomi certainly seems like the type who would enjoy feeling her meals pathetic last struggles as she digests them.

Posted by Nobodyman 6 years ago Report

That's the thing about writing stories. Sometimes you have to go with one idea at the cost of another. Something I've actually had to do a few times while writing this. Anyway, in regard to your questions:

The alternate version of Hinata/Hanabi fight you described is pretty cool. Will I write it? Hmm...maybe, if the mood strikes me.

As far as the clones and what happens to them and the originals in Marunomi's stomach, I'll get more into it in the next chapter.

While I definitely see the appeal of depicting a predator with a squirming meal in its stomach, I just kind of prefer the prey to be unconscious (at least in this context). I feel it adds to their helplessness and loss of faculty.

Thanks for the post!

Posted by Flame14 6 years ago Report

Then I'll just have to hope the mood for such an alternative strikes you. I'm sure your readers would also enjoy it.

I can see what you mean in terms of making them helpless, but wouldn't it be more throughly conveyed if was awake and struggling inside the stomach? It would show that their struggles are basically pointless, unable to do anything else but make the belly shift and wobble around and give Marunomi or her clones pleasure. It would simply further re-enforce the concept that they are age their captors mercy. It would also be a good opening for some negative self-reflecting on the preys part as they are trapped in a dark, humid, fleshy sack fully knowing that they are going to die a slow and painful death.

But still, to each their own, right. Besides, maybe you can use that later on, or even insert some of that into the Hanabi/Hinata alternative if you ever decide to do it.

Posted by Nobodyman 6 years ago Report

Well, if you want another reason, consider this: If they were conscious, they could use jutsu inside her stomach, which could lead to all sorts of problems for Marunomi.