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Dimaria the Vore Maiden By Primal18

Uploaded: 4 days ago

Views: 293

File size: 9.03 KiB

MIME Type: application/vnd.openxmlformats-officedocument.wordprocessingml.document

Comments: 3

Favorites: 2

Tags: Brandish Brandish μ Digestion Dimaria Yesta fairy tail lesbian Lucy Heartfilia Oral Vore Sex Edit

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Dimaria vore Brandish and Lucy upon discovering that they are a couple.

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Posted by venomousdreams 4 days ago

Your writing lacks description. It's basically "She grabbed her. She ate her. She left. The end." Make the reader feel like they are there. There is so much more to it than the bare bones things you are writing.


Posted by Primal18 4 days ago

Some of the stories I recently uploaded were some of the first ones I did when I started writing which is why they don’t have much description.


Posted by SwordkingX5 4 days ago

Nice idea but far to short on the execution.
I'd also have liked Brandish to shrink both Lucy and Dimaria swallow Lucy then put Dimaria in her panites