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Dimaria the Vore Maiden By Primal18

Uploaded: 11 months ago

Views: 1,138

File size: 9.03 KiB

MIME Type: application/vnd.openxmlformats-officedocument.wordprocessingml.document

Comments: 3

Favorites: 5

Dimaria vore Brandish and Lucy upon discovering that they are a couple.

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Comments
venomousdreams

Posted by venomousdreams 11 months ago

Your writing lacks description. It's basically "She grabbed her. She ate her. She left. The end." Make the reader feel like they are there. There is so much more to it than the bare bones things you are writing.

Primal18

Posted by Primal18 11 months ago

Some of the stories I recently uploaded were some of the first ones I did when I started writing which is why they don’t have much description.

SwordkingX5

Posted by SwordkingX5 11 months ago

Nice idea but far to short on the execution.
I'd also have liked Brandish to shrink both Lucy and Dimaria swallow Lucy then put Dimaria in her panites