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Subway Feast By Ryan-Drakel

A young teen ends up in a bit of trouble when he ends up on the wrong train.

Okay testing the waters here with something that really bothers me. Unwilling. Never liked unwilling prey because, hey. Lots of fear, screaming, death, that kinda junk. But unwilling predator seemed different. In this case the girls Want to be prey but the pred doesn't wanna. So its a test.

Comments and criticism welcome!

Also, no net yet. Uploading from phone. Working on it!

Story was inspired by a doujinshi I saw recently. Hope that's okay!

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Comments
awakener

Posted by awakener 8 months ago

I loved the story, I really did and BV is my favorite, but I couldn’t help but at the ending simply because of the “with pleasure”. I lost it at that. Great read though.

Ryan-Drakel

Posted by Ryan-Drakel 8 months ago

Im glad you enjoyed it. And i only typed this in a couple hours. Hm! New record.

awakener

Posted by awakener 8 months ago

New records are always fun. I’ve written a couple stories myself but they’re on DA

IronGhostXLII

Posted by IronGhostXLII 8 months ago

Delicious~

Ackerlan

Posted by Ackerlan 8 months ago

What was the doujinshi?

Ryan-Drakel

Posted by Ryan-Drakel 8 months ago

Gimme a sec. Site may be sketchy.

https://hitomi.la/reader/982425.html#4
This was the inspiration. Shota warning... But you dont need that warning by being here, yes?

VincentShadowScale

Posted by VincentShadowScale 8 months ago

Hehe, now that's my kind of trip ^w^

FanficFetishist

Posted by FanficFetishist 8 months ago

I would happily eat them all and grow fat off of them. VERY well done.

PhantomWolf

Posted by PhantomWolf 8 months ago

This.Was. Freaking. AWESOME! one of the greatest stories I've ever read on this site. Bravo! BRAVO BRAVO!

Ryan-Drakel

Posted by Ryan-Drakel 8 months ago

Greatest? o///o; I'm sure there are others out there that are better... But I'm honored to hear you say that. ^///^

crushxtreame

Posted by crushxtreame 8 months ago

Good story as usual love that ur back

Ryan-Drakel

Posted by Ryan-Drakel 8 months ago

Already got a story in mind.

crushxtreame

Posted by crushxtreame 2 months ago

Are you going to continue this or have you dropped that notion?

Ryan-Drakel

Posted by Ryan-Drakel 2 months ago

Hm? You want me to continue this storyline?? Huh. Thought people were happy with this ending.

You seriously want more?

crushxtreame

Posted by crushxtreame 2 months ago

if i want more sexy lewdness? .....yes , yes i do

Ryan-Drakel

Posted by Ryan-Drakel 2 months ago

No promises. Life's been causing trouble.
Stress
Bills
Cut-hours....

JacktheDragon

Posted by JacktheDragon 8 months ago

Hmm...ok

Ryan-Drakel

Posted by Ryan-Drakel 8 months ago

Something up? If you know a way to make the next story better, please, tell me. ^.^

JacktheDragon

Posted by JacktheDragon 8 months ago

No nothing is up and story is ok I guess.

SlipperyPal

Posted by SlipperyPal 8 months ago

Ho-lee shit man. I don't comment on things on here, but this deserves the active praise. I mean, wow. I'm a huge fan of your stuff on here. Love your stuff, but this is a whole 'nother level. Every single encounter felt dripping with that perfect casual-digestion sexiness. You know how to keep everything expertly and relentlessly paced, which is called for in such a manic setting as this. I just... it's hard to put into words, but I LOVED this story. I quite like same-size super-willing mass vore scenarios, and this is cream-of-the-crop in all of the right ways.

If I had to give one bit of critique, I'd say that you could maybe break up the interactions a little more, formatting-wise. So many parts moving so fast made it feel like I was losing track of characters in the scene, and while I'm sure a huge part of that was the fact that I was... well, a bit distracted, I think having the interactions (later on especially) have more distinction in who's performing which actions would go a long way.

Still, just really fantastic all around. This is the kind of work you should be proud of, genuinely. Great, great job.

Ryan-Drakel

Posted by Ryan-Drakel 8 months ago

I couldn't help but be grinning like an idiot ear-to-eat reading this.
I'm honored you took the time to comment on this.

As for formatting, yeah you're right. I tried to cut in with 'mild intermissions' to see how other characters are doing during the whole premise. See what they're thinking, feeling, etc...

And I'm honored to hear you're a huge fan.

Ryan-Drakel

Posted by Ryan-Drakel 8 months ago

.... ear-to-ear... KEYBOARD?! WHY?!!!!

SlipperyPal

Posted by SlipperyPal 8 months ago

"Ear-to-eat" might actually be more appropriate given the subject matter, haha. You deserve the praise, for sure. I actually really liked how you structured the intermissions! Made the whole scene feel a LOT more organic than a simple sequence of events. Like, the imagery is THERE and vibrant and undeniable. The issue is one that comes with any written scene with a lot of clearly defined moving parts, which is trying to manage it all so the reader can keep track without having to analyze.

Still, that's nothing a few line breaks and pronoun replacements couldn't patch up, and I'd still definitely put this up with my all time favorite vore stories. If there's anything I've taken away from all your stuff, it's that you have a crazy good imagination for vore scenarios that are extremely sexually charged on their own, coupled with a writing style that conveys just as much of the direct sexiness.

Ryan-Drakel

Posted by Ryan-Drakel 8 months ago

I like to think I have my own artistic style. Everyone else has their drawings, I have my words which paints vivid pictures in the mind.

Problem is, I could go further with the details... but...
Too much detail and you end up lost in a sea of words, not seeing the true beauty of what's under the waters.

AmyTheNeko

Posted by AmyTheNeko 7 months ago

Ooohh! I like this! ^v^

supersaiyango

Posted by supersaiyango 1 month ago

This needs a part 2!

Ryan-Drakel

Posted by Ryan-Drakel 1 month ago

Been contemplating it but with the way my workplace has been trolling me with cut hours, I haven't had the peace of mind to work on my stories.

supersaiyango

Posted by supersaiyango 1 month ago

I hope things get better soon