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Tags: bee girl Unbirth (Implied)
Willow welcomes the new Queen and gets a preview of the experience. Rob chats with Daisy about her future, and does his part to set that future in motion.
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Posted by MasterGryph 6 years ago Report
At some point, we really need to hear the middle of that conversation.
Posted by dreamweevil 6 years ago Report
I wholeheartedly agree. This chapter teases that conversation and intentionally doesn't give it to us. To spend a whole night having your mind opened that way, learning all the secrets...
Posted by MasterGryph 6 years ago Report
When I looked ahead, I was disappointed that it never came up again. (And that Jillian's plan here gets misattributed to Janiss, but that's another matter.)
Posted by dreamweevil 6 years ago Report
You know, I'd actually be happy to write that up (there's an "Extras" folder for just such things!) because, as you point out, it's a story even I'd like to hear.
I knew I'd swapped Jillian and Janiss at one point (just didn't find the point where!) and will fix that too. Janiss doesn't make it to the rank of Queen, but Jillian assumes command of her own Hive just as she was supposed to.
Posted by MasterGryph 6 years ago Report
That's what I thought. Though if the old text is taken on it's own, it makes it seem like the main trio are forgetting all the bonds and goals they have in the material world, especially after the shock of Francesca's last act of vengeance.
It was really weird, reading 50, then 41 onward, then 51 onward of the original, and finally starting over from 30. I saw "Janiss" hailed as becoming the great redeemer that Queen Willow would have been (Even though all of Francesca's scenes explained why that could never have happened with a Queen Willow), then looked back to 30+ to see where she had come from and how she'd become that... and found that Janiss was one of the more evil characters in the arc, Bambi resurfacing as a bitch of a tyrant came comparatively out of nowhere, and the Queen's development...
The denouement of the Sphinx and the Queen, while good writing and interesting ideas... fell flat in the midst of that.
Posted by dreamweevil 6 years ago Report
I agree here: the ending was rushed more than it should have been. At the time it seemed like interest in the story had waned and the story had largely been told. I'm planning to, largely, rewrite that ending, which may mean we end up with more than 64 chapters. (I'll also fix any Janiss/Jillian confusion, my own stupid fault: I had a continuity guide for the bee-girl ranks but not the names of the characters!)