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Defeat at Last By BizzareBlue -- Report

Uploaded: 1 year ago

Views: 1,631

File size: 175.80 KiB

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Comments: 14

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Even in an already high risk setting there will always be some people who can't resist seeing just how far they can push their luck. There will also be voraphiles. The question is, what happens when the two overlap?

Another commission for Combat and the longest I have done so far.

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Arta_Shrike

Posted by Arta_Shrike 1 year ago Report

Fun story! Loved the concept of a daredevil prey taunting preds, seems like a natural extension of your universe. I really enjoy how you write interactions between your characters. Seela's interactions with Dakol right before he ate her were especially fun, as she acts so counter to all his experiences with prey. Also, splitting the ending was a clever idea! Though I will say that Ending One was simply more fun, since we get more of that interaction I enjoy so much and an actual arc for their weird relationship (though it was a bit silly to me that she was up and at it so soon after her release - with as far as she went, to the point of near-drowning and having acid in her lungs,, I'd figure she'd be confined to bed for a few days at least. Ultimately minor quibble, I know) Ending two, on the other hand, is just disposal and reminiscing. I get that some people enjoy the disposal, not knocking them, but it does feel a little dull when Dakol no longer has anyone to play off.

I'm getting to be quite a fan of your work! Though if I could ask something, I'm curious what exactly Dakol would be buying at a grocery store. I had figured that a world with strict and established regulations on hunting would have them in place because it would be necessary for part of the population to feed on the other parts, which I had thought implied that food for carnivores wouldn't be cheap or readily available.

BizzareBlue

Posted by BizzareBlue 1 year ago Report

Glad you enjoyed it. I spent a long time trying to decide whether Seela should survive or not and Combat was the one who came up with the idea to include both endings. Ending One is definitely my favorite as well, although I like having the second one following it as it adds emphasis to just how narrow Seela's escape was. Poor bunny. I agree that she definitely did seem quite energetic for someone who came so close to drowning in that scene and I probably should have had her feeling a lot worse.

As for the groceries, the availability of non-talking food kind of varies from story to story in my settings. When I'm writing stories with more sympathetic predators there generally isn't much else they could eat while the stories with crueler ones tend to have them eating people by choice. There's quite a few other details that seem to vary from one story to the next and I generally justify them with the reasoning that it's not a single setting but multiple worlds with some elements, such as hunting laws, in common.

I think in this one, as well as most of the others, there is probably a little food that doesn't talk available for the carnivores but it is expensive and not produced in any where near enough quantity to support the whole population if everyone suddenly stopped hunting. Also foxes are technically omnivores and do usually include small amounts of plant matter in their diets. Most, however, prefer hunting as it gives them a large amount of meat completely free. Regularly having to buy food is regarded as a bit embarrassing for predators as it implies they they aren't a very good hunter and is generally seen as prey behavior.

Sorry for the massive dump of world building exposition.

Arta_Shrike

Posted by Arta_Shrike 1 year ago Report

Poor bunny? Hardly. She seemed to know the risks she was taking, I'd argue she'd lived a more full, exciting life than most of the prey in your tales.

No need to apologize! I did ask, and I'm grateful for the detailed reply. I eat worldbuilding details like this up! (Haha, vore joke)

BizzareBlue

Posted by BizzareBlue 1 year ago Report

Poor worldbuilding details. If I'd know what you were going to do them I'd have kept them safe.

Seela definitely gets to have more fun than most rabbits unfortunate enough to feature in my stories.

Kasra

Posted by Kasra 1 year ago Report

I first encountered this kind of character in one of French Snack's stories, and frankly I love it. The multiple endings were also both delightful in their own ways; I honestly don't know which I prefer! Probably the non-fatal one, if only because that way the game continues.

Fantastic work!

BizzareBlue

Posted by BizzareBlue 1 year ago Report

Thanks. I haven't read anything by French Snack but I'll definitely have to check them out.

Kasra

Posted by Kasra 1 year ago Report

Well, they focus primarily on Karbo's Felarya setting, so if that's not your thing then you probably won't get as much out of it.

Oh, another random thought I had was wondering if one of the videos Seela watched happened to be Tennie's tutorial.

BizzareBlue

Posted by BizzareBlue 1 year ago Report

It wasn't supposed to be Tennie specifically. A quick youtube search turns up dozens of videos of people eating so in a modern setting with vore it makes sense that there would be plenty of videos of prey being eaten. Anyone with internet access and an interest in seeing that sort of thing is likely to have watched a few.

Still, Tennie was intended to be one of the bigger names out there so there is a good chance that Seela would have at least seen a few of her tutorials.

twilightwings

Posted by twilightwings 8 months ago Report

Long ago I had read this story and forgot to favorite it... today I fix that mistake.

I really love how there are two endings... I'd marry the little daredevil

DrakeZephyr

Posted by DrakeZephyr 1 month ago Report

It's always tricky putting out a double ending. When I try, I always find it's clear which one my instinct called for, and which was written to satisfy those, not satisfied by the first...

Interesting position, quite enjoyable, though I think splitting the endings earlier would have been less, jarring. The first felt... out of place considering the events before. Perhaps before the dunny could have her fun... denying her the, peak of her fantasy, and him his meal in one swoop, to give them a... mutual goal. The second ending, the fatal... felt a touch cliché in some of the lines... though, and I know it's odd, the only thing that bothered me was right at the end. The fox being annoyed to put on weight from his meal. I gather from the comments long since past, this was a time when how desperate the predators were was, variable, but... fat deposits are how bodies store excess for later. Putting on weight is such a... human civilisation problem, where excess can grow out of control. A heavy fox would hunt as well... till the weight goes, but till then, starving will be more difficult.

DrakeZephyr

Posted by DrakeZephyr 1 month ago Report

*Bunny* Does Ekas seriously not have an edit button, I could swear it did...

BizzareBlue

Posted by BizzareBlue 1 month ago Report

Hmmm, yeah. I can see that. I’m not really sure where I could have split it instead though. Alternative endings isn’t something I had tried before this and I probably could use more practice at it. I also have to admit that the second ending is the one that feels more like the ‘canon’ version to me.

As for his annoyance at gaining weight though, there is supposed to be a certain amount of flexibility in the setting. The hunting hours stories all take place in universes that are similar in a lot of ways, but certain details get changed to fit with each story. In settings such as Kliss’s food is extremely scarce and predators have to constantly struggle to get enough to survive, while in others like this ones the predators are doing better and getting enough to eat is much easier. I guess one possible interpretation is that they take place in different locations and one city may have a higher ratio of prey to predators than another. Still, the real explanation is that I prefer to bend the rules of the setting to fit the story than the other way around.

DrakeZephyr

Posted by DrakeZephyr 1 month ago Report

The issue though, if I may, with effectively having several near identical settings with a few crucial details different... is that unless each is read in a complete vacuum, it can be frustrating to not know the rules of the world. It's always been one of the main challenges of fantasy to explain how a world is different than one might expect, without laying it all out in exposition. It feels like reading a story written in modern day, with street names, political figures all the same... but then half way through wizards randomly exist and interfere. Maybe I'm just saying, if your worlds are so... similar, it might behove you to find a way of defining which set of rules this one is playing by.

But still, it honestly makes the predators a lot less relatable to me when they are eating their neighbours, friends, people off the street who they would have been friendly to during the day... and then going to work them off with annoyance. It's just me, but it sort of... cheapens what they've taken, but maybe that's the point

BizzareBlue

Posted by BizzareBlue 1 month ago Report

Yeah, there is definitely a downside to having flexible rules like this. Overall, I'd hoped that the setting for each story was similar enough that they often could be interpreted to be set in the same world, and that there are relatively minor differences between the rules for most stories. Still, I can definitely see what you mean and will have to work harder on keeping future stories consistent. That is always slightly harder with commissions though as different people want different kinds of stories.

And ... yeah, that is kind of the point, I'm afraid. One of the main reasons I came up with this setting was because I really liked the idea of predator and prey being able to sit down together and have a friendly conversation, with the prey being completely relaxed and confident they won't be eaten, then have a scene where none of that is the case and the two revert back to following natural law (and possibly an awkward scene between the two afterwards if the prey manages to survive).