Posted by BlueMarvel611 6 years ago Report

Hey Nobodyman, good to see this chapter up and running. I'm happy for it as my week's been slow for me and need the cheering up. Especially given that I've been waiting to see how this turns out. Now here comes the review!

Okay things are starting to heat up now as Demi's entered the temple of Durandal in order to get the power needed for her to confront Kalia. Got to say that she put up some attitude up until the light enveloped her. Sounds to me it's only begun for her. Makes me wonder what she would be going through.

Meanwhile, on the outside Kalia is really beating the crap out of the warriors and clerics with no effort at all. Just to get at the element of Creation. Even five unique warriors fighting her had a hard time given her wielding each of the five elements on each of them. After beating them, it was at that moment we see Kalia's hunger began to show. Mostly with how she was hungry for more food as she eats the five up...even though they weren't filling enough for her. Boy is she going on frenzy on this one.

Now we focus on how you wrote both Erra and Stella's relationship and bond here. Now I know that Stella does not show it fully here but she does sound like a mother to Erra despite traditions. And you definitely did a good job with writing Erra's character here. Despite sounding rather mature and calm, Erra truly is a child deep down, goddess or no. She could even sense the deep darkness of Kalia coming to her despite being a goddess and such. Though it's so heartwarming how you wrote the two sharing a hug before Stella went to fight the intruder herself.

We then get to the nitty gritty when we see both Stella and Kalia fight. Yeah I admit that it was sorta one-sided between the two but got to give Stella credit for lasting longer than her cleric warriors did. Sure she got Kalia by surprise with her sneak attack but it did not last long as the dark goddess got her within her grasp. And torture her with her lightning powers as Stella screamed out enough for Erra to hear. The poor little thing must be scared and worried for her adopted mother to be fighting a monster. You really wrote her character out really well in this one especially when her timing couldn't have been better.

Man things could not be any worse given that Kalia was about to make a meal out of Stella just as she found out about Erra's existence. But boy did the sweet little goddess child made it in time...only for Kalia to turn her sights on her. Oh man good thing that Demi managed to arrive in time just as Kalia was about to win.

So all in all you did good with this chapter but honestly hoped for more. I hoped the next chapter would be able to fill in some gaps of what happened with Demi in the temple. Though also hoped to know what exactly did Kalia see during her time with her mom Herra in the battle field. Anyways back to this chapter, though it was brief it was having me on my seat. Some spelling errors aside, I also was pumped with some action from the Dark Goddess and Stella though hoped for more with the latter. However I know that another battle would await me on the next chapter. So all in all good work, NB!

I hoped to see the next chapter up and running as I look forward to the confrontation between Demi and Kalia. Laters!

Elias Azule
The Blue Marvel

Posted by Nobodyman 6 years ago Report

Haha, sorry if this chapter left you wanting more, but, hey, that's what they say. Always leave your audience wanting more ;)

Anyway, thanks for the review as always.

Posted by BlueMarvel611 6 years ago Report

Heh you're welcome Nobodyman. How many more chapters can we expect from this story?

Posted by Nobodyman 6 years ago Report

I'd say we've got about four or five chapters left.

Posted by BlueMarvel611 6 years ago Report

Great to know. I can't wait to see how they turn out and see where it goes. So looking forward to it, NB.