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Tags: Burp Damsel in distress Digestion Disposal Dragon Dragon pred Dragon prey F/M Fantasy Fart Fart Torture Farting Fatal femdom Gas Gassy Gassy Pred Human Human Pred Human Prey Lich Magic medieval Misandry misogyny Oral Vore Red Dragon role reversal Scat Sentient Disposal Sphinx taunting violence war
Dragons keeping women in their lairs as bait is nothing new, but sometimes, the bait bites back (TM).
A long awaited request for Vaindragon666. Seriously, it took me longer than it should have, but I kicked my own ass a few times and I think it turned out alright.
It's a prequel of sorts to Corren's adventures in the other two stories I have posted in this folder. I hope to resume his adventures sometimes soon, but it's best not to rush these things.
(Note: Once again, the weird periods are to maintain paragraph spacing. I'm still not sure how to get around this site's paragraph styling.)
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Posted by deleten2659gh 5 years ago Report
You literally wrote the best possible vore story for me...thank you so much!
Posted by TETRO 5 years ago Report
Well thank you for giving me a good idea to work with. Having some restrictions or guideline to work around often helps the artistic process, I find.
Posted by Gutswimmer 5 years ago Report
Prolonged, detailed and humiliating digestion? Check.
An inexperienced woma nly predator who comes to enjoy her newfound predatory nature? Checkaroo.
A legitimately interesting tale set against the backdrop of high fantasy and punctuated by some of the most intensly srotic scenes I've ever read? Double, triple, quadruple check.
If you weren't already one of the best vore writers on this whole site (and possibly online, in general) then this single story would have matched you with the likes of Indighost, Juicefox and Vraddock in terms of attention to detail, character development and erotic atmosphere.
Posted by Gutswimmer 5 years ago Report
I don't think I can effectively critique this story without devolving into saccharine fanboy gushing; this story is a fricking masterpiece, man.
Did I mention I like this story a lot?
Posted by TETRO 5 years ago Report
Oh my. I don't think I've ever gotten that level of appraisal before. I'm glad you're enjoying it ;)
I think we all occasionally find artwork or artists who touch upon our preferences so well, that it's almost uncanny. I've certainly come a long way from where I started, but there's always room for improvement.
I was a little worried about the balance between non-sexual story elements and vore content, but I'm glad it worked for you. I think everyone has different tastes with the amount of story in sexual media. Some want to get right to the point, and others want lots of context.
Posted by Gutswimmer 5 years ago Report
Oh of course it's all highly subjective. Usually I don't attempt to give detailed critiquecumlessvan artist asks for it, because I havecso little experiemce myself that it usually deteriorates into "huhu me likey when vor happuhn." But this story worked so well for me that I had to let you know what I thought.
Fuck, I can't wait for more from you.
Posted by Gutswimmer 5 years ago Report
Jesus
*critique unless
Posted by Marked 5 years ago Report
I’m a huge fan of role reversal, first-time press, and pred pov, so this story attracted me in a lot of ways. As far as the craft, I was pleased that the various characters got some time to shine, and I appreciated the serious and mythological tone of the beginning. I felt like some scenes with Saracus devolved into unnecessary silliness, and I would have really enjoyed seeing Lira enact a plan to escape or trick Saracus into messing up, rather than being the beneficiary of several happy coincidences. I also was hoping to see Jamir have a more extended scene in the end. That said, it was enjoyable throughout, sexy in the right places and has a more competitive story than many other pieces. Very good work with the dialogue. Thank you for taking the time to read my comment and I hope it was well-received by the requester.
P.s bonus points for using “alimentary canal” ;)
Posted by TETRO 5 years ago Report
Thank you very much. I appreciate an honest critique.
I can see what you're saying about the tone. For one, I have trouble resisting a little nonsense now and then. The story was also written across a large stretch of time (mostly due to some of the large transitions that were going on in my life at the time) and that usually seems to cause at least some shift in tone.
I'm glad you liked it though. I still find it hard to wrap my head around the idea that some strangers on the internet are genuinely enjoying a bunch of stuff I wrote.
As for the use of "alimentary canal", it was a term I happened across by chance in a dictionary when I was a kid. It's one of those uncommon words that helps add some texture to a phrase. I guess when you come across a word you don't hear too often, it sticks in your head and draws your attention more.
Plus, I just like the term "alimentary canal". It makes it sound a lot more like a thing that's going from one end of a person to the other than "digestive tract". It also reminds me of the word "elimination" which is what's going to be done to the prey when it reaches the other end of this "canal".
Posted by Philosoraptor 4 years ago Report
Excellent writing, especially the witty dialogue and great description. There are some things though that didn't make a lot of sense and made it seem a bit too 'cartoony' to me, given how good other parts were. I wanted to mention these points in case you decided to revamp it a bit as I think with some changes it would be a great story for aficionados of plain high fantasy even if they don't have the usual vore kinks. 1. For one, having some mere young inexperienced human defeat and send a huge dragon running that had devoured innumerable far more experienced knights for perhaps centuries seemed entirely inexplicable and added nothing to the story at all. I think it would have worked better if he were simply an acquaintance that snuck into the lair at the end in hope of rescuing the girl but with no thoughts of slaying the dragon. 2. I can see the dragon asking the Lich Mage for a potion to make the girl find him desirable. But having the end result having him shrink the dragon so she could somehow swallow him made no sense unless the mage was deliberately trying to kill the dragon and that didn't seem to be made clear. What I imagined for the story to make sense to me, was that he made a spell that would turn the girl into a BIG sexy female dragon, which would be more in line with his dragon master's request, but just enough of a honest bad decision of the well meaning mage. 3. By becoming a female dragon as big or even bigger than her dragon captor, the girl could realistically swallow him, particularly so, if she fucked him into exhaustion first. No human could swallow even a dog sized dragon which seemed very dumb to anyone other than with a fetish for the impossible. The dragon would have to be no bigger than the
Geico Gecko or she would surely have chocked to death if she still looked like a women and not a human sized Bullfrog. 4. The pile of shit that had once been a dragon would be far more effective and greater surprise for the man to discover, if it had been what was once a the full sized dragon, and not a dog sized one. And the story would seem more plausible to the average fantasy reader who can accept the reality of dragons swallowing same sized other dragons (just like snakes do), but would dismiss a girl swallowing a dog sized dragon quite ridiculous and too cartoony for an otherwise fairly plausible high fantasy story. Obviously, she would have to remain in dragon form until she dropped that massive load or she would have exploded, but maybe heard or smelled her boyfriends scent with her enhanced senses as a dragon, and turned back into a human standing by the giant pile of shit before he entered the lair, or she could remain in dragon form for awhile and have a little fun with him first, like using him as a dildo. 5. As this is a prequel story to explain the mother of the hero who ends up with a female dragon love interest/sidekick as I remember, having his mother being a unique human that could change into a dragon at times, would make the hero more familiar with dragons to help him better deal with the female dragon he befriends in the later story. Anyway I enjoyed the story more thinking it really went like this, as all of the best parts and witty dialogue you wrote really wouldn't change. As the story brought me a good deal of entertainment, I thought the least I could do is type up these ideas for you to consider. Thanks for sharing it and your other here as well!
Posted by TETRO 4 years ago Report
Well, thank you very much for the cirtique. The fact that people take this much effort to talk about my work shows that they really enjoy it.