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The School Assignment - 4.1 By JackNoName

Ever since Jake has stood up to Sandra, tensions have been high as Sandra seems to be doing worse than Jake had expected. He tries desperately to de-escalate the situation while keeping his girlfriend, Daphne, out of the loop.

Read the first chapter HERE.

*****

It has finally arrived and boy is it a heavy one. I know it has been a long time but in my defense, I have some very reasonable and totally legitimate excuses. ;)

So, this one was quite tricky. Lots of tension means a lot of careful writing. This chapter was very important in setting up the later ones and is partly the reason why it has taken so long.

*****

This is only the first part of this chapter, the second one will be up soon. No worries, you won’t have to wait another 9 months. But yeah, I am really looking forward to what you guys think now we are out of the library and out in the world.

Thanks to everyone that has proof read and supported me over the last months, I appreciate it a lot!

Pop that subscribe button, pass a like and don’t forget to ring that bell!

Tschusch!
JNN

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JackNoName

Posted by JackNoName 8 months ago

Sorry :'(

Nevek

Posted by Nevek 8 months ago

Nice

TongueCuddlingLouse

Posted by TongueCuddlingLouse 8 months ago

Always worth the wait man, awesome work!

JackNoName

Posted by JackNoName 8 months ago

You won't have to wait that much longer for the next, I promise ;)

shortprey20

Posted by shortprey20 8 months ago

Woohoo! Today gets better!

DoctorLucy

Posted by DoctorLucy 8 months ago

I loved it! I barely read anything but this is the only one I wait for. I'm gonna take a guess here and say daphne is a closet voress? Or was raised with them.

JackNoName

Posted by JackNoName 8 months ago

I know reading isn't the quickest way to get your fix, all the more flattering when people go out of their way to spend time on my work. Thanks!

And you are probably not far off... More about that in later chapters :)

DoctorLucy

Posted by DoctorLucy 8 months ago

Caaaaalllled it! Thanks a bunch! I await future stories with baited breath

Pluie

Posted by Pluie 8 months ago

nice

JackNoName

Posted by JackNoName 8 months ago

Elaborate :D

MrQuarantine

Posted by MrQuarantine 8 months ago

After giving this chapter a read a few times and mulling a few things over, I have finally formed an opinion on it. Overall I would say this is another good addition to the series, and I'm very pleased that the focus was shifted back on the relationships between the characters. Not that I didn't appreciate the full vore intermediate chapter of last, but that alone isn't why I love this series as you know. This story from start to finish flowed nicely and never took me out of the story. Due to that I found myself especially hanging on every word between Sandra and Jake, always the best part imo. The sheer amount of anticipation I had for their confrontation was already very high to say the least. I thought it was pretty brilliant that you chose to delay the full blown encounter until later in the story, expertly handled for sure. By delaying it just a bit longer that caused me to anticipate it that much more, so well done on that front.

In particular the smaller portions that you chose to detail out really assisted with the mood of each character, in particular I rather enjoyed the way you described this chapter. When Sandra was at the school, even though we know she's heartbroken from the last little bit from the previous chapter, you took the extra step do describe the physical changes that have taken place. It would have been easy for you to simply have Jake say "she looks sad", but you went above and beyond so kudos. The actual confrontation between Sandra and Jake was very intense when she got angry too I might add. Again the physical changes that you described actually had me on edge.The Daphne fake out was done as well as it could have been, even though it personally didn't fool me. You already established Sandra realizing that if she did just eat Daphne it would only make things worse, so it did kind of take a bit of the power away from that portion.

With all that being said I do have a few gripes with the chapter, but I think it's most likely from my own inept ability to understand the subtext that you placed in between the actual words. I'm sure some of it intentionally isn't supposed to make since this is only the first part of the chapter as you said above, but I'm hoping you could clear a few things up for me. So right now I am VERY confused about Daphne at this point in the series. She spends the first half of the series being moral support for Jake, telling Jake just to get through the assignment, then becomes jealous of Jake and Sandra? Then is upset about Sandra and Jake's falling out, then wants them to make up, and then befriends her, I guess!? At the start when she was telling Jake to remember the people Sandra eats, this stuck out as a rather odd line to me because Jake has never displayed any tendencies around Daphne that he likes what Sandra can do. Not only that, even if he did, in the story so far it hasn't been like Jake has started seeing people as nothing more than food for Sandra or something like how Sandra herself does. I could see if he himself was feeding people to her or something malicious, but this part was lost on me.

The next major issue of contention I have isn't exactly with the writing itself, but more for the direction of the story. So the key point that I myself wondered, was how Sandra will try and win Jake back I guess. Not knowing what she was going to do or how she was going to handle the situation added a lot of tension and uncertainty to the story. That being said, now that things have kind of been "resolved", and I use that term loosely, what else is there to tell? Am I missing something? At this point Jake apologized, they still have to do the assignment, Jake saved Sandra's life, and Daphne "befriended" her. I'm not saying Jake is going to be inviting Sandra to an all you can eat buffet anytime soon to hang out, or that Sandra won't not be a bitch to him here or there, she is still heartbroken after all, but I'm confused about what else needs to be worked out? What is the conflict now? Sandra appreciated Jake saving her life deep down, at least that's how I interpreted it, and if she were to eat him now she would just turn into a shallow irredeemable character at that point. Sandra also can't remove Daphne because it solves nothing and she would have just done so in this chapter....So if you made to the end of this book, essentially what I'm saying is it will be very interesting to see what happens from here on out. I do hope you can help me figure some of this out though in the meantime lol.

Btw you sly dog, I'm not sure if this was purposeful or not (Pretty sure it was), but I noticed the little Easter egg in this chapter about your other story involving the son whose mother was a Voress. Very subtle, but a very cool nod imo. I love when people take the time to connect their worlds together. I thought it was neat to read everything worked out with him. He even wrote a successful book, not too shabby. He, he, he, nothing goes over my head, my reflexes are too fast!

JackNoName

Posted by JackNoName 8 months ago

I see a lot of your concerns are with things you don't know (yet). ;) There were indeed some points that weren't so strong as I would have liked, mainly how Daphne feels about Jake, but it was getting too cluttered if I added in more, so I pushed it towards the second part. Basically up till now, we follow how Daphne sees Jake get more and more isolated, but she doens't exactly know why because she is always kept out of the loop by him. In the mean time we see Jake change through his girlfriends eyes. He is getting agitated more often, he talks less and he does things he would have never done before (like stop a gunman). The aftermath of the last scene is a conversation between the two and explains more, but again, I thought this would be the best spot to end it for this chapter. A lot more on Daphne later ^^

As of the story until the end. Most big plot points have been set out already. There are a few ways I can go about it, but it should all lead the same way. there is a lot more to come, this specific conflict is also not over yet.

The Daphne "fake-out" was more me playing with everyone that hadn't been reading well enough ;). Plus, there are some people who would rather see her in Sandra's gullet :O So it was a bit of fan-service from me ^^. Hehe, I knew I wouldn't be able to fool you with it ;)

JackNoName

Posted by JackNoName 8 months ago

You sure do keep me sharp ^^

SpokleArt

Posted by SpokleArt 6 months ago

I eagerly await your next work, checking back every 3 days or so.

JackNoName

Posted by JackNoName 6 months ago

I am so sorry. At this point I can't make any promises, but maybe I can put some work in this weekend and finally finish something. Knowing that people are waiting is often a motivator, so thanks :)

cruddneck

Posted by cruddneck 6 months ago

Excited for next one! Soon?