Posted by Slimshod 5 years ago Report

Holy crap dude that was amazing! So much world building going on and the depth of character you had with these two made this very fun to read. Well done!

Posted by ryanshowseason3 5 years ago Report

Awesome, glad somebody took notice of all that world in there. It was entertaining to make.

Posted by TheMysteriousSadSack 5 years ago Report

You had one job Eyti, ONE!! On a different note, the setting is pretty rad. A city made of clay is something new.

Posted by ryanshowseason3 5 years ago Report

Thanks!

TBH My first premise was cyberpunk but taking it into fantasy at the commissioners direction made it far superior IMO. I just elaborated from there.

Posted by Cobbly 5 years ago Report

Wow... this was actually super clever

Posted by ryanshowseason3 5 years ago Report

Thanks! I'm taking a lot of inspiration from Sanderson's style of world, plot progression and twists.

Posted by wizkid17 5 years ago Report

Honestly I stopped reading it for the erotica and read this as a regular short story. You've got some real world-building chops. 5 fucking stars

Posted by ryanshowseason3 5 years ago Report

Thanks! I just hope I have more in me than a one hit wonder.

Posted by BardicLasher 5 years ago Report

That was a really great story! Like, as an actual story. As opposed to your usual offerings of really great smut.

Posted by ryanshowseason3 5 years ago Report

Fantastic. Great to know I can bridge the divide when inclined.

Posted by lalalalas 5 years ago Report

Of the stories I've read by you, I think Arri is the most 'complete' character I've seen. She needs to believe that her relationship with Eyti is more than just carnal. With Eyti's nature and that of the 'relationshit' its impossible to know if that affection is mutual- at least until after Arri's death.

Prey revenge and empowerment are ideas that I don't think we've explored very much in vore.

Posted by ryanshowseason3 5 years ago Report

I like that term, "prey empowerment."

It's kind of what I was going for in a way. I built Eyti up into this nigh untouchable goddess of the magic system and social castes. Arri getting the best of her was my favorite part of this.

One of my original ending outlines had her "infecting" the entire caste of sculptors after they entered into a memory-share. I ultimately decided that it was too world shattering and took away from the personal conflict with Arri and Eyti.

I have to say props to the commissioner for wanting to explore the concept. Combat sent me down that path and it was well worth the trip.

Posted by GuysSeriouslyImFine 5 years ago Report

So many stories on this site end with a cruel pred getting away with dehumanizing their prey to the very end, which many people are into and I support them of course, but for me that's simply too upsetting to read, so I usually avoid the cruel pred tag. I'm really glad I didn't notice it on this story, and really, really, REALLY glad I kept reading even after I checked the tags. I couldn't help it, I was hooked. Most vore stories don't contain worldbuilding that ranges from an elaborate and perfectly comprehensible magic system to sociological analysis of the civilization it takes place in, and I don't think it's ever been accomplished in one story without getting boring--aside from this. (Don't quote me on that, I haven't read your other stuff yet.) It was incredibly satisfying to see Eyti get hers, especially in such a clever and well-foreshadowed way. (Also the descriptions of digestion are absolutely top-notch to the point that I had to reread them a few times.) This isn't just damn good smut; it's a damn good story. Basically, good fucking job.

Posted by ryanshowseason3 5 years ago Report

I'm glad you liked it! And glad that it didn't get boring part way through. The same commissioner wanted another work on this tier form me later and that one is called "Nanostorm" it's a sci-fi deal and I think it still pales in comparison to this but it goes into similar veins of world building and poking that world's flaws and benefits.