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Dark Troll (request) By TheDarkTraveler -- Report

Uploaded: 3 months ago

Views: 441

File size: 26.62 KiB

MIME Type: application/vnd.openxmlformats-officedocument.wordprocessingml.document

Comments: 4

Favorites: 8

A request by Heimko

https://aryion.com/forum/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=83606
A princess runs away and runs into the mythical Dark Trolls

Comment on Dark Troll (request)

Comments
Heimko

Posted by Heimko 3 months ago Report

Loved it!

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TheDarkTraveler

Posted by TheDarkTraveler 3 months ago Report

I am glad you liked it, it was fun to write

[ Reply ]

Philosoraptor

Posted by Philosoraptor 3 months ago Report

Decent story, but the bit in the beginning about the mother enlisting a dragon to guard her daughter, and then pays mercenaries to kill the same dragon guardian when all she had to do is say, hey, my daughter is getting married now so we don't need you any more. Why risk the dragon's ire, if the mercenaries didn't succeed, or the dragon has relatives that might get revenge. Apparently you wanted to make the Mother and husband seem 'more evil', but it just makes them seem stupid. If the dragon wasn't an extremely dangerous guardian why hire him in the first place, and why pointlessly risk getting killed by it by trying to have it assassinated for absolutely no reason. In fact, having this dragon be the same dragon, now out of a job, and who joined the trolls with no place else to go, would make far more sense if you wanted a dragon in the story, and they would unite and he could be her Guardian again.

[ Reply ]

TheDarkTraveler

Posted by TheDarkTraveler 3 months ago Report

I like your idea about the shadow dragon being the dragon from the start, it did not occur to me at the start. The presence of a shadow dragon was part of the request and I added the guard dragon so that it might fit in the "Knights, Dragons and Princesses" universe that I have created for my other stories. I did kill the dragon off to make the mother seem more villainous. The way I saw it happening is Nora is 20 which means that challengers have been trying to win her hand in marriage for 2 years Azur was a softy with Nora but not in battle. The mother found what she believed to be the perfect match and took no chances that Ahoshta might be defeated so she cheated.

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