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Hear ye! Hear ye! To whomever doth actually read these!
Hi, this is one of my first vore stories, honestly I'm not sure if its that good frankly but I've lingered about the ((particularly gay, I'm just sayin hahaha)) vore community for a while and I feel like you should give back what you get out. Y'know? You know. I think you know hahaha xD. I do intend on writing more over these coming months and years so stayed tuned *insert cowboy emoji here please* if you like this ((Heaven knows why you would, its so awfully rambly lmao)). I'll do my best to keep being a lifeless hack and provide suitable masturbation material for people ;)
Without much further ado, if you've been so kind to have read this before cringing at the ungodly sight of my writings, go ahead and have a read :). If you've already gone and done that and now have your hands soaked in cum, remember:
"As long as there's vore galore,
You won't have any cum left in the store" ah ha!
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Posted by Zacerine 4 years ago Report
It was a nice story. The end makes me a little sad though. Why eat an unwilling friend that cares about you when you can just eat a stranger. Or if youre going to eat the friend at least be kind to him and if possible let him survive
Posted by Erysichthon 4 years ago Report
Awwww shucks thanks I've worked on the story for quite some time, I am sorry about the ending though :( I'll be writing more in the future (and am currently working on one now) and will try to incorporate a wider range of vore categories ((some exceptions)) I like making my characters real people too, so there's a reason Christopher's like this other than just being part of a story hehe~
Posted by Zacerine 4 years ago Report
No worries. Okay i understand. To bad there isn't a way to get Sammy back though. He seemed like an okay guy and friend
Posted by Erysichthon 4 years ago Report
Ooo see now its the Game of Thrones way of writing hahaha, favorites and innocents die for the sake of progression. It is a shame nonetheless though :( I have dabbled on writing some about Sammy's own experiences with vore before himself being vored by Christopher so you might see that :D
Posted by Zacerine 4 years ago Report
Okay.
Posted by Zacerine 4 years ago Report
Would have been interesting to see Sammy survive and feed Chris. I like the idea of bad guy hunting.
Posted by Erysichthon 4 years ago Report
I do like the feeding idea very much actually, unfortunately not by Sammy's hand but oh a man can dream ^^
Posted by Zacerine 4 years ago Report
Okay
Posted by Narkotic 4 years ago Report
It was actually amazing for a first story! Me, personally, would have loved to see more perspective of the prey's digestion just to balance out with the perspective of the pred. But every writer has their preferences and if you're happy with your content then that's good.
One thing is for sure, I definitely would like to read more from you~
Posted by Erysichthon 4 years ago Report
Aaaaa good sir you lavish me in praise so!!! Thank you so much, I'll try to incorporate more of a balance between the Pred and Preys perspective more, I'm writing a new one as is so I'll think/see if there's any organic ways to add it in!! By time you see this another story will up too anyhow ;) And honestly I'm never happy with my work ah ha its mainly a pleasure that other people like it and think its good :)
And oml I sound like I'm repeating myself here:
But thank you so much for the watch too!! :D I'll make sure to check out your own work too myself as I believe I've seen your work before and think ever so fondly of it ^)^'
Thanks a tonne for the support and kind words it means a lot~
Posted by ThickAsHoney 4 years ago Report
I really have a thing for stories where a shy person gets eaten by a popular hot person, so I enjoyed the concept of this!
However, there are many areas where I feel like the sentences are too long, the phrasing is slightly odd, or there are too many words in a sentence. Like, look at this sentence for example:
“Checking through the trivial notifications stockpiling from other apps he’d callously forgotten to pay attention to as he never particularly saw fit to use his phone, he took notice of a separate message from someone on an app he’d recently downloaded and, as a result of being both a shy and somewhat reserved person, coupled with a sex drive he really hoped would die down as his hormones stabilised, his boyhood slowly sprang from its hibernation, despite the slight rosiness on his cheeks appearing. All his other notifications had been swiped away but this one… was, well, different.”
First of all, i feel like the sentence could have started with ‘while’. Second of all, you could have split that into several smaller sentences. And lastly, I feel like some words like “callously” or “somewhat” could have been omitted. I know it’s tempting, but you can’t tack on too many adjectives in one sentence.
But at the end of the day, these are easy mistakes to learn from. I hope this comment didn’t come off as rude or anything. You’re fine at writing, these are basically just grammatical errors.
Posted by Erysichthon 4 years ago Report
Oooooo no honestly I asked for constructive criticism and comments so Imma get it hahahaha
I see what you mean, I absolutely love the English Language and sometimes (often in fact) get carried away with using words unnecessarily, frankly I can't even remember putting callous and thank you for pointing it out <3 when I read over it even I frowned, I thought Id ironed out any mistakes or imperfections but there's always room for improvement, thanks for the advice and feedback <3
Posted by ThickAsHoney 4 years ago Report
You’re welcome!