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Pupil's Pet II - Lethia's Little Secret By ChibiToy -- Report

Uploaded: 2 months ago

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The story kinda goes on... somewhat... I think :3

Anyhow, this is how it ended up. It's not exactly finished yet. I'd still need to apply the finishing touch but dunno if it'll happen anytime soon...

Oh ye, a big thanks to Cuddly for proofreading and improving it before I've lost my patience.

Comment on Pupil's Pet II - Lethia's Little Secret

ChibiToy: I appreciate critical comments very much! Still want to improve and that's gonna be hard without feedback :3

Comments
Altimos

Posted by Altimos 2 months ago Report

Very unlucky midgets indeed... but a very nice story it was <3 <3 <3

[ Reply ]

ChibiToy

Posted by ChibiToy 2 months ago Report

Awww thankie. But really? I'm not sure if I could call it nice. It's certainly acceptable, yep, but there's so much stuff that bothers me that I don't know where to start... x3

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Altimos

Posted by Altimos 2 months ago Report

Yeah, sure... it's rough around the edges. Ascetically, the font was not really appealing. I'd usually use it if I was making a short in-character note, but I'd still use a standard font.

It jumped around here and there, but the flow was easy to follow. So I wouldn't say that it was bad. It was nice, you called the attention to the content for which your tags followed.

Don't short yourself... I mean, unless you WANT to be a midget. But then again, we know where all the midgets go ;)

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ShinjiIkari

Posted by ShinjiIkari 1 month ago Report

I loved the story... Usually I'm not a fan of F/F sex stuff but you just teased enough that it was still hot. Also very thoughtful how you described the change of the teachers mind. And that dream sequence had me good...
I liked the short post vore part in the bathroom the most.

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ChibiToy

Posted by ChibiToy 1 month ago Report


Might be because I'm the same about sex-like thingies. Thanks a bunch; means a lot to me x3

So, would you prefer the next story from Teach's POV again or another girl? :p

[ Reply ]

ShinjiIkari

Posted by ShinjiIkari 1 month ago Report

From another girl please! I identify myself with the prey, but I think stories should be written for preds more often because they are the bosses~

Also I like seeing their mean thoughts! Or, in your case, that they actually do feel bad, but they feel even more horny and oops now another 6 tinies are paste~

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nineplay

Posted by nineplay 1 month ago Report

aaaaa this really has got everything! I can see where it's rough in some parts, but it's still really really enjoyable.

I'm very glad that Lethia was the focus of the follow-up. She's my favorite.

The only thing that irked me all the way through was the gotdamn font lmao. The letter and line spacing just isn't suited for long-form paragraph reading imo. I had to download it and change it to a basic sans-serif to save my eyes. :P

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ChibiToy

Posted by ChibiToy 1 month ago Report

Thankie and, yea, my apologies. I chose this quirky font on purpose since it's another char's POV but I've already noticed that it's quite *ahem* unfavorable to use such a font for a whole story.

Oh well! I still think it was worth a try but you can expect less eyecancer from now on, except for another concept I'd like to try in another story. :3

Since you mentioned the rough edges... Any suggestions what I could do better in future stories? Any parts you didn't like?

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