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9-The Fall By SansSeraph -- Report

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So, I wrote another part of our story. This one's a little more plot heavy than our previous iterations. I tried to front load and end load the smut, so if that's all you're here for, there ya go.

In light of the contents of this particular story, if you're ever feeling trapped or depressed or anxious or whatever, make sure you seek help. Not from like family or friends (as great as they can be) but from a professional. There are people who literally get degrees to help people with their issues. Be safe out there.

Like comment, and subscribe?

But for real, plz comment.

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Posted by Apex 3 months ago Report

Maybe it's just because it's really late, I'm really tired, and I just blazed through all nine chapters in the last hour or two, but holy shit. Your pacing is like going water skiing behind a nascar driver. I think my eyes have friction burns.

THAT BEING SAID. I find the story here fascinating. It's very emotionally charged and that's pretty much what I live for. In particular, I'm super interested in the pred/prey dynamic as far as society is concerned. I was super excited to see how the relationship between James and his mom would change because he was a prey, but it kind of fell to the wayside in favor of Shannon's crisis and that kind of sucks, but I also find what she's going through to be provocative.

For Shannon, I really like how you're playing with what everyone expects of her. It's similar to the James situation of, "why can't you be a pred like your father and me?" but twisted a little bit. I guess it's less of societal expectations and parental disapproval, and more about stereotyping complicated by having what appear to be literal superpowers. "I'm not a monster!" really hit it home for me. I've been playing with the concept of negative stereotyping a bit myself, and I also happen to be doing it with a hermaphroditic (or futanari if that's your game) character, so you kinda hit the shot right in the middle of my interest Venn diagram.

I think that's all I got. =X


Posted by SansSeraph 3 months ago Report

The pacing is definitely a problem. But part of that comes from this being 9 chapters in 8 sessions, usually while comically high and never with editing. That is to say its worse than my non-smut writing, but in college people told me I had that kind of problem all the time.

Thank you so much for your comment. It's really great. It's a joy to read such well thought out and constructed comments, and taking my work seriously means the world.

James and his Mom's tension isn't done yet, and will probably be worse when she's back. We'll see.


Posted by TheMysteriousSadSack 3 months ago Report

Just binge read this series and my lord is the plot turned up all the way to 11 here. It doesnt hurt the series too much but it is a bit jarring to go from light plot and heavy smut to heavy plot and light smut. Also watching shannon realize how alone she is makes my spine tingle with guilty pleasure; on one hand she is suffering but on the other hand its so deserved. At any rate the story is nice and im invested in these characters.


Posted by SansSeraph 3 months ago Report

No man, it's extremely jarring. I just now read it, and the typos and the pacing are all ridiculous. I hope you stick around anyway though!