Posted by x9comega 4 years ago Report

I love their dynamic

Posted by Daduke 4 years ago Report

I'm loving the dynamic between Rachel and Dave. Stories where a pred regrets, well being a pred are so rare. I wanna see where this goes.

Posted by MCPB 4 years ago Report

I really like your stories :D, but in this one there are some anatomical incorrect parts. If you’d like to hear about them, I’ll be happy to elaborate; if not, I completely understand :)

Posted by TheDragonBoy 4 years ago Report

I usually try to keep things as accurate as possible. Do elaborate.

Posted by MCPB 4 years ago Report

First of all the stomach plays an important role in mechanical digestion (this is often underestimated, especially in vore stories). Studies show, that the peristaltic movement pushes the meal to the antrum (bottom end of the stomach) where the food is trapped between the pylorus and the contracting muscle-ring and squished (if it can’t move away before getting trapped).
The important point is that the pylorus is easily strong enough to resist this pressure, which can exceed 1.5 Newton (150g weight equivalent). And until everything digestible has been digested, the pylorus does not open further than 1 mm. This means that there is no way Sarah and Dave could pass the pylorus in solid form.

Posted by TheDragonBoy 4 years ago Report

Wow, I had no idea the pressures in the stomach were that high. I guess the digestive wasn't evolved over eons to allow prey to slip through. I'll have to get clever the next time I want to write a story where the prey escapes... or just ignore the facts. I'll definitely try the former first.

Posted by IJustLurkOnD 4 years ago Report

Really great story buuuuuut

The small intestine actually has stronger acid than the stomach. In fact, the stomach is more of a softening organ than the intestines.

Posted by TheDragonBoy 4 years ago Report

Are you sure about that? As far as I can find it’s the stomach that produces acids which are then neutralized once they enter the duodenum.
Don’t get me wrong, I'm no biology expert, but I can’t find anything online talking about the small intestine producing acid. Would you mind pointing me to a source I can read? I like to make my stories as accurate as the plot allows.

Posted by MCPB 4 years ago Report

Acidity is the wrong term here, corrosiveness is the important point. The acidity is overrated; the stomach has pH 1+ which is roughly equivalent to a 1% HCl solution. While this is quite acidic, it’s not enough to break down proteins in a reasonable amount of time (they may be denaturated, but they are still there). So if you put Sarah in an 1% HCl solution for a few hours, she would have severe skin irritations and be in bad pain, but she would not have been liquified.
When it comes to protein breakdown in the stomach, nearly all the work is done by the enzyme Pepsin, which is a protein cutter that chemically cuts a protein into a lot of much smaller peptids.

And that is the misunderstanding: while you’re completely right that the small intestine is not acidic, the pancreas and intestinal walls produce a lot of digestive enzymes to further digest proteins etc. Some parts of digestion are only happening in the small intestine, e.g. DNA digestion (after leaving the stomach, most of the DNA is still completely intact).
And the enzymes in the small intestines are easily strong enough to dissolve larger chunks of raw meat; there have been experiments with people who had a complete gastrectomy. Those chunks of meat have been a little smaller than our two morsels, but even if they are not completely digested, there wouldn’t be much more left than an unrecognizable slimy blob; you wouldn’t even be able to say who was Sarah and who was Dave.

I’ve thought a long time about how non-invulnerable tinies could survive, but unless they get regurgitated in time or have a protective suite, there is no chance. Every mammal that is small enough to get swallowed is also small enough to be (mostly) digested.

Posted by TheDragonBoy 4 years ago Report

Ah, that makes sense. Thanks for taking the time to explain it to me. I've had that misunderstanding for a while.

Unless I can think of a clever way to explain their survival, I think I'll probably leave this story as it is- since the plot sort of depends on it at this point- but I'll definitely keep it in mind when writing future stories.

Also, by some stroke of luck, all my older stories either have the characters wearing protective suits or have other special circumstances.

I guess in the end, Rachel is only as good a biology student as I am. And so is her teacher; so much for his medal XD.

Posted by MCPB 4 years ago Report

I'm always happy to explain stuff like this; especially if it leads to more scientifically accurate stories. Digestion is so damn cool and the more stories contain it, the better :D
Also, I apparently confused Sarah and Rachel in my comments, sorry about this :/

Posted by TheDragonBoy 4 years ago Report

No worries, I almost mixed them up a couple times too :)

Posted by LightDragon 4 years ago Report

Don't worry about that, digestion in stories work just as gravity in cartoons.
As long as the character don't realize they are walking over a pit, they can't fall down. Well, for Rachel it's the same : as long as she thinks it's going to work, she'll be fine :D

Posted by TheDragonBoy 4 years ago Report

I can just imagine:

Prey: "Okay, okay, as long as I'm sure that I'll survive I wont be digested"

Pred: "Yeah, good luck with that"

Posted by broccoli125 2 years ago Report

Enjoyed reading this comment chain! Do you have a list of references to learn about realistic vore?

Posted by TheDragonBoy 2 years ago Report

I don’t, no. When I wrote a later story that I wanted to contain realistic vore I ended up PM-ing with MCPB and asking her if she would fact-check it and give advice, which she was kind enough to do. I mostly took her word for it and compared her explanations to what I found online/remember from school/common sense.

Posted by LightDragon 4 years ago Report

Hello, Dragon fellow o/
I just discovered your story, and although I skept some chapters (mostly the ones involving genitals), I would still like to leave a comment.

First thing first, even if the reader skips some chapters, it is still relatively easy to catch up with what happened, which is really nice in a story presenting things that not everyone like.
I really like the way you mixed vore with actual story, it was really nice to read.

I was kind of surprised that Sarah could recognize Dave. I find it incoherent that someone who despises tinies so much can remember their face and voice...

Judging by Rachel's words, I suppose Sarah might get to taste her own medicine at some point. Then, focusing only on character development, I would find it unfair if Sarah didn't have her redemption too. She is perfectly similar to Rachel, the main difference being that she was intelligent enough not to put a flame near a dangerous spot, which seems quite light to refuse her a redemption.

Finally, as others said, you made a few errors in anatomy. I may write a separate comment for those, or just complete other's comments, I'm not sure.

Posted by TheDragonBoy 4 years ago Report

I'm glad you're enjoying it so far and can follow it even when skipping over what you don't like.

In my head the reason Sarah recognized Dave was only because she was really shocked when Rachel spoke up about him at her house. It made her pay attention. She might've had some suspicion even at that point.

Rachel is certainly angry right now, we'll see how things play out. I can understand wanting to see Sarah redeemed. She does have a lot of parallels to Rachel, but I wouldn't put them on the same level emotionally or morally. I've been trying to show that difference, however subtly, through their dialog. I make no promises at this point which way things will go.

Please do tell me about the anatomy errors. Is it the same point that IJustLurkOnD mentioned (which I'm still not clear on) or something else?

Posted by LightDragon 4 years ago Report

(Sorry for keeping you waiting, it took me time to find my old lessons about digestion ^^)

MCPB has a very good point about the dangerous enzymes we can find in the intestines. These enzymes can digest anything : proteins, grease, starch, DNA... wherease the stomach can only partially digest proteins.
In fact, the intestines are responsible for most of the digestion, and the digestion inside of the duodenum (first part of the instestines) is so harsh that it has to secrete a mucus to protect itself from self-digesting, just like the stomach.

Then, there is the one thing that makes it impossible to survive in the intestines : the complete lack of breathable air.
The stomach itself is already poor in breathable air, although some is swallowed every once in a while. A tiny trapped in a stomach would most probably die from suffocation way before receiving damage from the acid (unless the predator swallowed a lot of air with him, of if he uses less oxygen than a normal sized counterpart, all proportions kept).
But in the intestines, there is absolutely no breathable air. It is shown by the fact that, some of the bacteria found in the intestines are strict anaerobic, which mean they can not survive in presence of oxygen (the others are optional anaerobic, so they do not need oxygen to survive).

In short, the only secure way to get out of a stomach is to get the predator to vomit... Which shouldn't be that difficult, provided we don't suffocate first.

If we want to be 100% exact, teeth play a very important role in digestion. The stomach is not designed to digest food whole and break it in small chunks all by itself. It is designed to soften and reduce further the small chunk of food made by the teeth. So any "big" food swallowed whole will take a really long time to digest in the stomach (in fact, its purpose is closer to an "improved storing room" than to a mouth).
Several pieces of food bigger than what the stomach could expect would most probably make the eater uncomfortable. If these pieces do not suffocate and fight back, it can only make it worse, and there is even a risk they could damage the mucus protecting the stomach from it's acids, which would irritate it even more.
TLDR : that's why we chew our food, but that goes against all the laws of soft vore ^^

Posted by TheDragonBoy 4 years ago Report

Thanks for the explanation. I've probably learned more about digestion from these comments than I did in school.

At least I actually thought of the lack of air problem and gave a cheep-sci-fi-level excuse.

Posted by Itsuune 4 years ago Report

Go times! Give that mean Sarah all the bellyaches. :P

Posted by Ezunbiirth 4 years ago Report

Wow these comments really were a crash course like you said dragon

Posted by TheDragonBoy 4 years ago Report

Yeah, you’re telling me :)
At least I already know the kinds of liberties I’m taking in the next story.

Posted by Stveve 4 years ago Report

When is part 10? Just asking lol

Posted by TheDragonBoy 4 years ago Report

I was actually hoping to finish it tonight, but I’m still working on it. It’s gonna be a bit longer than usual. I’ll probably have it done in the next couple days.