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spare room By doomed -- Report

Uploaded: 2 months ago

Views: 1,509

File size: 14.63 KiB

MIME Type: application/vnd.openxmlformats-officedocument.wordprocessingml.document

Comments: 7

Favorites: 12

This is the first story I've ever written, so please don't judge me too harshly on it

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Comments
Animepoke12

Posted by Animepoke12 2 months ago Report

Nice this was a good story hope ti see more from you

Mastermiser8

Posted by Mastermiser8 2 months ago Report

I think this is a great story. The stories of Bridget getting fired were hilarious. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a world like this before, with femboys and such.
As a fellow writer, I think you’re doing a great job.
PM me if you ever want to chat or talk about writing.

soline

Posted by soline 2 months ago Report

Welcome to the portal! It's great to see some new content and I look forward to seeing what else you create!

If you're looking for a little feedback though, my initial thoughts are mechanical. Increase the letter-size (I think 11 is standard? Yours seems to be around 9) just because the writing is very tiny, and it's an easy way to accidentally put people off. Also practice formatting your story. Along the same lines, a single block of text is really hard to read and I know from experience puts people off even trying. Just make line-breaks to outline paragraphs (good example of paragraph is right at the end "When mike woke up" should be a new paragraph, since it's a change of 'scene/camera'). Finally, try to use caps-lock super sparingly; like for single-word uses at most. I get the idea, but again it's super jarring for the user, no one outside Naruto yells every word with the exact same volume really. Make use of italics, bold and exclamation points to 'colour' peoples words and it goes a whole lot further; and it's just nicer to read.

doomed

Posted by doomed 2 months ago Report

Bruh the fact that you of all people commented made my day

MarkusFreeman320

Posted by MarkusFreeman320 2 months ago Report

This was a really enjoyable read, there isn't enough good willing vore with disposal out there, I hope to see a lot more like this! :3

doomed

Posted by doomed 2 months ago Report

You most definitely will, we’ve got much more planned