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Here it is, the first vore story I've ever gotten brave enough to share. This is an introduction to 2 of my OC's, Ashleigh and Kristi. The universe that they live in is... complicated. It's got a lot of weird rules and things going on, so feel free to ask any questions regarding details.
This being the first story I've ever shared, I'm REALLY looking for feedback and criticism. I have a lot of ideas for future stories, but I definitely want to improve before attempting some of them. Please feel free to comment what you liked and what you think I could improve on. It would really help!
Thank you for your time! I'm glad to be able to share my stories on this site! :D
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Posted by ValeriePrey 3 years ago Report
This was so wholesome!! There really isn't much to critique I can see, I guess maybe make it more obvious who is talking in parts? A wonderful set up for more, I can't wait to see what happens next :)
Posted by OhSevenTen 3 years ago Report
Ahhhhh, that means so much to me that you enjoyed it!!
And thank you for the critique. I can definitely see parts where it wasn't as obvious. I had the idea to try and differentiate the two characters based on the way they spoke, rather than needing to point out who was speaking every time. It's for sure something I'll work on for future stories.
Posted by heromc 3 years ago Report
I'm not usually one for the non-fatal stuff, but like Valerie said, this was too wholesome!
Posted by OhSevenTen 3 years ago Report
Thanks so much! I'm glad I was able to provide something that you liked even when not being a big fan of non-fatal.
Posted by Filtia 3 years ago Report
A fantastic story. Not much more to really say. Maybe you could have added some more detail when she swallowed Kristi's boobs since you made mention of them earlier but that is really the only thing I have to say.
Posted by OhSevenTen 3 years ago Report
Thanks a bunch!
And yeah, I know what you mean. I noticed on my most recent re-read-through that I also mentioned her having glasses and then literally never brought them up again, haha. In this case, I wanted to bring more attention to her exposed skin rather than her bust, since it was what Ashleigh herself was focused on. But I'll definitely have to improve on going into more detail during future vore scenes that I write. Thanks for the feedback!
Posted by Filtia 3 years ago Report
I look forward to seeing your next story!
Posted by AllRightAllNight 3 years ago Report
This is great! Really nice character work. I'm not sure what's complicated about the universe though, the rules seem pretty standard for this type of story...
Posted by OhSevenTen 3 years ago Report
Thank you! That means a lot.
And if didn't feel complicated, then that's great (and a relief)! It means this can be enjoyed as a standalone story, without needing the context of some of the things I hinted at. Things like, why Kristi tastes so different, for example. I like the idea of writing more stories that will interconnect, so it may then get complicated when I eventually reach that point, aha.
Posted by AllRightAllNight 3 years ago Report
Nice, I'm a fan of connected universe stuff so I'm looking forward to it!
Posted by FurryTastyTreat 1 year ago Report
LOVE IT! This story is so romantic!
I particularly like that Kirsti tasted really good. Personally, I'd have liked the taste to have been described (salty, sweet, ect ).
This is a really good and unique story
Posted by OhSevenTen 1 year ago Report
Thank you so much!
I appreciate the criticism. I think at the time of writing this, I really wanted to drive home the fact that her taste was indescribable and/or unique from Ashleigh's perspective, since that detail would be important if I ever expanded this universe, but that's certainly no excuse for not providing the audience with sweet, sweet details. :-P I shall bear it in mind moving forward!
Posted by FurryTastyTreat 1 year ago Report
The significance of the fact that Ashleigh has never tasted anyone like Kristi really does come across. I'd love to know why that's important. Is it because she loves her?
Posted by OhSevenTen 1 year ago Report
As far as we know, love is the safest conclusion and the most satisfying one. It's also the one we may assume to be canon if I never return to write more for these two and their universe.
Perhaps if I ever get around to continuing this universe, there'll be more to it than that, but I don't want to give an answer that may retroactively ruin this story as it won't come with the context of the events that would happen after such a revelation (i.e. another story).
(Sorry if this response was unsatisfying. I spent like two hours trying to think of how I should answer the question in a way that wouldn't ruin anything, haha. If you want an unstructured ramble about my thoughts regarding universe details, you can shoot me a PM, as I don't really want to make public any details for a universe that I'm not sure I'll even continue or have 100% nailed down.)