Uploaded: 3 years ago
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File size: 7.08 KiB
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Thumbnail done by me. Also as a disclaimer. I've done a polish on this story, grammar and rtf format fix included.
If anyone wants the original version. Do let me know, so I can PM you that initial/first version.
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Among my first attempts at writing unbirth, let alone vore in general. With the context being "roleplaying predator" as a big bad wolf, devouring a lover by accident.
Do note that it's intentionally a bit vague. But that's also under the lens of letting you imagine what sort of characters, they could be (to a reasonable degree.)
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Posted by Groblek 3 years ago Report
Very nice! I like how your writing here conveys the pred’s own uncertainty over just what’s happening. “Pred discovers her abilities by accident” is a fun scenario, and this is an excellent take on that.
The only minor tweak I’d suggest is at the very end, prefacing the last two paragraphs with something along the lines of “If she’d been able to look into her own depths, she’d have seen her cervix gape...” Since she couldn’t really be looking inside herself as the “tugging” resumes.
The traces of panties line was a nice touch, but I’d make that something along the lines of “
Nothing, apart from the faint traces of her lover’s cotton panties, which were somehow embedded within her uterine lining. Then a moment later, those had vanished as well.”
I hope you keep writing, this is an excellent first attempt!
Posted by LemonBarb 3 years ago Report
Heya Groblek, thanks for the critique and commentary! (And for the record, I for one; love your writing.)
That said, bar the little typos (as this was first, my first attempt at unbirth.) That, and I also tried to practice a bit of style in doing 'some' vague implications, that try and let the reader imagine what 'could' have happened, or at least hint with some vagueness. Even if it's just a word or so cut short.
That said, glad you enjoy this first piece of work! :)
Posted by LemonBarb 2 months ago Report
Bit of a PS: But I've done a bit of an edit and pass.
So I hope you enjoy the slight reword/mix on the story. Alongside an appropriate MSPAint drafted thumbnail.
Posted by TheTastefulGentlman 3 years ago Report
Predator unaware of her abilities and sex leading to unbirth, very nice.