Archive > furrster090 > Writings > quick bites > A Horsegirl's Adventure
Expand
Add to favorites | Full Size | Download
A Horsegirl's Adventure By furrster090 -- Report

Uploaded: 1 month ago

Views: 708

File size: 23.50 KiB

MIME Type: application/msword

Comments: 6

Favorites: 26

Amber doesn't want to leave her horse, luckily the stalion seems to have a plan that suits both of them.
Featuring willing vore and willing digestion

Comment on A Horsegirl's Adventure

Please login to post a comment.

Comments
rugli

Posted by rugli 1 month ago Report

That was rather wonderful read. :)
Good she found solution for their unavoidable seperation.

furrster090

Posted by furrster090 1 month ago Report

Happy to hear you enjoyed it! And you gotta love a happy ending ^^

PhantomWolf

Posted by PhantomWolf 1 month ago Report

First, you have potential, you truly do. Vast potential! I did enjoy this story, it was cute and endearing. I've long thought horses were underused preds, and I'm happy you're showing them some appreciation ^_^ You had a few spelling hiccups; ('teethe' instead of 'teeth' and 'feat' instead of 'feet') there were some other grammar and spelling hiccups as well. I recommend you look into the free version of Grammarly, it'll be a big help. You could have done a bit more emphasis on world-building. For example; in the setting, it's obvious you keep a horse in a horse stable but is the stable at a farm? At the county fair? etc. Also "moving to the city" but where are they now? You could've also taken some time to describe what Amber looks like. All we know about her is that she's a girl who loves her horse. Is she tall? Is she short? Is she skinny? Is she Rubenesque? Is she buxom? Is she slender? What clothing is she wearing? What's her race/ethnicity? Including her hair color, eye color, etc. Please take this with a grain of salt, I tried to my tone polite and optimistic :). Like I said you have potential, so keep doing what you're doing. *Thumbs up*

furrster090

Posted by furrster090 1 month ago Report

Heya! First off, thank you so much for your support, it's truly appreciated. To clear up a bit, there is a specific reason why I didn't really go into detail too much about the plot or what Amber looks like; I intend quick bites to be quicker stories, more to the point with the vore and less focus on the world it's in.

I'm still trying to find my way with this, and writing in general, so again your thoughts are greatly appreciated.

PhantomWolf

Posted by PhantomWolf 1 month ago Report

AH! I see well then the lack of world building can be sacrificed if that's your intention. It's not something I'd do but to each their own. I still recommend describing the prey a bit more, helps the reader better enjoy the story. Other than that, you're welcome! Keep working on your potential!

MarcDioceco

Posted by MarcDioceco 1 month ago Report

At least she is happy with her fate ^^