Thats not something you should apologize for, definitely something you should do at whatever pace makes you feel comfortable. Always nice seeing more from ya
ok so ive read whole thing in about 1 and a half hour with sending screeenshots to friends. Im going to be somewhat critical in this comment, but thats because i think you have it in you to improve and get good.
Your compositions are pretty good and ecpressive, clearly manga inspired (god that zootopia abortion reference) but they do convey the feelings pretty well, unlike most manga inspired comics where you need to know what theyre going for by reading manga that inspired them. So thats good, as for issues, my mine gripe is the lack of established tone and consequences for actions. If society is so hateful towards predators (seemingly rightfully so they do kill) then thry would surely establish police force and predating would be a punishable crime? Why did no one investigate the hamster death? As basic as that comparision is, beastars established this pretty well, both making characters "vorny" while having clearly established consequences in society. This doesnt apply just to vore, cheating consequences also felt fairly low?
Worldbuilding wise zootopia existing there is weird, its very much a profuct of our culture, not a great one imo, but a lot of things in it dont translate well, rodents are smaller in zootopia, and predators dont actually need to eat meat in that universe.
You could also start constructing faces with a cross to keep them more consistent. Carlos is pretty funny. So yeah im looking forward to your stuff in the future.
Yeah, world building is something I have been struggling with because in a way this started as a short story that was gonna end at chapter 1, and as I was working through some personal things I realized I wanted to tell a very different kind of story. Because Ive worked so slowly on this I have found odd inconsistencies when I go back and reread it, and I've written the next two chapters about what the bigger world is really like and where Sap fits in it, but rewrites have been messy and usually come back to "is this actually entertaining?" and "does this even fit in the comic?"
I've been tempted to write supplemental things on the side between chapters to help but Ive always found that showing is better than telling and exposition would just come across as masterbatory.
This is also basically the only comic I'm proud of while simultaneously being increasingly embarrassed by because the art is is borderline offensive. If i could go back in time I might do this story in writing instead of drawing these dumbass stick figures.
Referencing things from our world complicates it, making rules for a society like this is never super elegant, but I'm also opposed to George Lucasing any of it out of hindsight.
Ultimately i will continue to write this to the best of my ability and continue to use this as an opportunity to experiment and learn. But ultimately I'm sorry you read this, it really isnt worth your or anyone's time.
I saw your art on /d/ and was very impressed, but now I feel embarrassed that I bothered sharing any of my sketches online.
I only said the time because its the kind of informaton i appreciate when someone reads my comic! I might not be the best motivational speaker but its not worth it being embarassed, society teaches us bad approach to failure, and some eastern inspired movies saying that each mistake is a lesson arent enough to remedy it. I totally understand the feeling of wanting to remove your old stuff, but its better to think that youve learned from it and youll do better next time.
Posted by Done25 2 years ago Report
Oh, oh wow. I didn't even notice the whisker thing. Funny how the mind can skip over subtle details like that.
Posted by afallenfox 2 years ago Report
Love the series always enjoy seeing new pages! =3
Posted by BSGreyM 2 years ago Report
Thank you, I’m sorry I’m so inconsistent.
Posted by Novalori 2 years ago Report
Thats not something you should apologize for, definitely something you should do at whatever pace makes you feel comfortable. Always nice seeing more from ya
Posted by Assimilation 2 years ago Report
You're doing us the favor by sharing this story. Produce at your own pace. o7
Posted by Kasra 2 years ago Report
In fairness he kinda deserved a good slap? At least he doesn't seem to hold a grudge.
Posted by YouCanFreshMyFresh 2 years ago Report
Three years and I only now just notice that detail, what a slow burn!
Posted by BSGreyM 2 years ago Report
Three years? Cripes I'm slow.
Posted by Selfkatka 2 years ago Report
ok so ive read whole thing in about 1 and a half hour with sending screeenshots to friends. Im going to be somewhat critical in this comment, but thats because i think you have it in you to improve and get good.
Your compositions are pretty good and ecpressive, clearly manga inspired (god that zootopia abortion reference) but they do convey the feelings pretty well, unlike most manga inspired comics where you need to know what theyre going for by reading manga that inspired them. So thats good, as for issues, my mine gripe is the lack of established tone and consequences for actions. If society is so hateful towards predators (seemingly rightfully so they do kill) then thry would surely establish police force and predating would be a punishable crime? Why did no one investigate the hamster death? As basic as that comparision is, beastars established this pretty well, both making characters "vorny" while having clearly established consequences in society. This doesnt apply just to vore, cheating consequences also felt fairly low?
Worldbuilding wise zootopia existing there is weird, its very much a profuct of our culture, not a great one imo, but a lot of things in it dont translate well, rodents are smaller in zootopia, and predators dont actually need to eat meat in that universe.
You could also start constructing faces with a cross to keep them more consistent. Carlos is pretty funny. So yeah im looking forward to your stuff in the future.
Posted by BSGreyM 2 years ago Report
Yeah, world building is something I have been struggling with because in a way this started as a short story that was gonna end at chapter 1, and as I was working through some personal things I realized I wanted to tell a very different kind of story. Because Ive worked so slowly on this I have found odd inconsistencies when I go back and reread it, and I've written the next two chapters about what the bigger world is really like and where Sap fits in it, but rewrites have been messy and usually come back to "is this actually entertaining?" and "does this even fit in the comic?"
I've been tempted to write supplemental things on the side between chapters to help but Ive always found that showing is better than telling and exposition would just come across as masterbatory.
This is also basically the only comic I'm proud of while simultaneously being increasingly embarrassed by because the art is is borderline offensive. If i could go back in time I might do this story in writing instead of drawing these dumbass stick figures.
Referencing things from our world complicates it, making rules for a society like this is never super elegant, but I'm also opposed to George Lucasing any of it out of hindsight.
Ultimately i will continue to write this to the best of my ability and continue to use this as an opportunity to experiment and learn. But ultimately I'm sorry you read this, it really isnt worth your or anyone's time.
I saw your art on /d/ and was very impressed, but now I feel embarrassed that I bothered sharing any of my sketches online.
Posted by Selfkatka 2 years ago Report
I only said the time because its the kind of informaton i appreciate when someone reads my comic! I might not be the best motivational speaker but its not worth it being embarassed, society teaches us bad approach to failure, and some eastern inspired movies saying that each mistake is a lesson arent enough to remedy it. I totally understand the feeling of wanting to remove your old stuff, but its better to think that youve learned from it and youll do better next time.
Well if you find my art good maybe uhh showing old stuff will be nspirational idk. Heres my comic 3 years ago https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/ridiculous-escapade-an-other-shenanigans/night/viewer?title_no=160883&episode_no=1
heres newer https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/ridiculous-escapade-an-other-shenanigans/night/viewer?title_no=160883&episode_no=1
yep youve been tricked and advertised to, but anyway i genuinely think you have potential if you want you can start practicing (your compositions are at times better than mine 4real) Believe in me believing in you i s'pose