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"Barbara, sis?" Nol's voice called throughout the shop. "Have you seen our beloved customer, Gragrok the Destroyer? He was looking to buy a ring of ultimate power, and I finally found one in overstock."
Stepping into the store front, Nol waved to their sister. Barbara stood behind the counter, her body pressed against the hardwood. If Nol had eyes in their head, they would have seen Barbara sweating up a storm.
"Uh, who, what? C-Cannot say that I have!" Barbara gulped hard, slurping down the last of a slimy tentacle. Beneath the skin of her brown belly, limbs writhed in a chaotic mess as Gragrok cursed in an alien tongue. It would have melted the minds of lesser mortals, but with her alien heritage, Barbara was immune to such psychic assaults. "Perhaps he went home? You were back there a long time."
Nol's smile grew tight, and Barbara felt as though the Creature of Leng was weighing her words on a scale, tasting for its truthfulness. There was a dreadful silence, which was only mitigated by the low gurgle of Barbara's gut. Caustic acids burned the tentacled alien like crazy, and soon enough the struggles came to a halt. Only the glorp glorp of meat mush and the groan of contracting muscles was left.
The silence was only broken when Nol clanked their sharp teeth together like a vice.
"... if you say so, Barbs! I really didn't wanna sell this ring to Gragrok anyways, that power-mad fool wouldn't have appreciated its sophisticated craftsmanship." Nol popped the ring of power into their pocket, where it whispered the dark secrets of the cosmos. The Creature of Leng gave a thumbs up. "Just call me if he returns, or if any other customer needs my help. Gonna finish inventory in the meanwhile."
"Can do!" said Barbara, returning the gesture. When Nol disappeared into the store's inventory, Barbara sighed and stepped back, letting her bloated belly droop. It sagged like a bag of wet potatoes, kissing the floorboards as it sloshed with meat. Barbara poked it with a huff.
"Sorry, Mr. Gragrok, but I couldn't have you conquer Earth with that power ring. My wife lives there!" Barbara smacked her lips as the taste of kalamari tickled her tongue. "Besides, I skipped my lunch break for this, and you looked awfully tasty..."
Gurgle gurgle glorp slorp chuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrnnn...
"Glad to hear it!"
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As much fun as Barbara has working with Nol, the life of a retail manager is not an easy one. There's much to juggle, from managing inventory, selling goods, and dealing with customers. The latter can be especially stressful when customers won't take 'no' for an answer, and well, can you blame Barbara for taking the odd bite here-and-there? I think not!
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Art by kimera66
Barbara is owned by my good friend, ruler101
Posted by CoolKaios 2 years ago Report
"My wife lives there!"
I'd love it if the only reason earth survives all these cosmic horrors is purely because someone "lives" there LOL
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Posted by Spider8Fiend 2 years ago Report
Haha, Barbara will do anything to keep Ellie safe! Plus, you know, sea food is tasty ;)
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Posted by HangryDemon 2 years ago Report
Clearly she's the best wife. Eating a crazy tentacle monster to protect your wife and her home? Clearly she knows what she's doing!
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Posted by Spider8Fiend 2 years ago Report
Oh, one hundred percent! The only reason Barbara is hiding that fact from Nol is because it’s poor etiquette to eat customers BEFORE you rob them blind with overpriced goods. Cannot sell magical trinkets to dead aliens!
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Posted by Bright 2 years ago Report
The face expression is really cute.
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Posted by Spider8Fiend 2 years ago Report
Agreed. The original idea was that Barbara would walk away, whistling under her breath, while pretending not to know where the customer was. But if Barbara was the only one in the room at the time, it didn’t make sense to have her roaming the storefront, so I put behind the counter instead.
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Posted by BlueIce 2 years ago Report
Man, who could resist feeding such a cutie -w-
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Posted by Spider8Fiend 2 years ago Report
If you wanna feed her, Barbara would happily accept your money! Its 30 Derkls for every 10 lbs. of food fed to this sweet hybrid!
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Posted by BlueIce 2 years ago Report
i will put down 600 Derkls for her to enjoy
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Posted by Spider8Fiend 2 years ago Report
Oooh, big spender! After a feast like that, Barbara would be big enough that she’d look like she ate someone! She might even throw that in as a perk for such a loyal customer ;)
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Posted by BlueIce 2 years ago Report
Seems like a tempting offer that would be hard to refuse -w-
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Posted by bigboy1992 2 years ago Report
Lovecraftian Waifu...say no more, I hope we see more of barbara and the antics she gets into.
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Posted by Spider8Fiend 2 years ago Report
Heh, I’d like to get a doodle page of her by Kimera66 some day.
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Posted by bigboy1992 2 years ago Report
Could she be a dungeon guide? But eats non-paying clients.
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Posted by Spider8Fiend 2 years ago Report
Barbara is more of a shopkeeper than an adventurer… but I can see her sibling, Nol, making a fake dungeon to amuse tourists. Those who don’t spend enough money at the gift shop before the tour become a snack ;)
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