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Would aim for a "fitting pred pose" thumbnail, but lazy on the 'nearest' (or close enough) equivilent. So as is, thumbnail sourced from Amazon's store. Dunno the precise license of use? But sod it, I'll compensate with a link to the maternal blouse I ripped this thumbnail from; https://www.amazon.co.uk/AMhomely-Maternity-Nursing-Breastfeeding-Pregnant/dp/B0813N8YSM?th=1
Gonna throw this story here as is, might edit it later, to remove excess verbosity and other narrative plot holes. May also add a more fitting thumbnail, as or when I get an appropiate 'fitting' thumbnail for Teresa, maybe? But I'm glad I finally got this 'dead' story done, after so long.
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Okay, for context; had a draft on this worked on by 2018, well over four years ago. Back when passionate writing me after going 10K “Omake” writing spam *elsewhere*, at the time. Felt cocky enough to attempt an “epic unbirth story” that crossed all the ticks I wanted to pursue in a vore story. The before, during and after of a vore story, sort of tone.
But then, my mind went “bruh”, as I reached 10K+ words on that draft of voreshadow setup. Right when I was about to attempt a yuri sex scene, that got flubbed before I even got to the ingestion aspect. Which eventually led to having to cut my losses and hiatus/freeze the project, in loathing doubt.
Thankfully, I kept all 10K+ of regurgitated words, hack POV and all. So I can with a fresh, more experienced mind. Process all that ‘bruh’ in a more organised manner. Especially after how I handled that Fairy 3 abomination of a “Novella” being inspiring enough, to actually give this “Epic Unbirth story” another sprint of a shot. And if stars align, a big fat “maybe” on a Part 2 on this, if it rocks out. But no promises.
Especially when as a biggest disclaimer here. Don’t expect me to write this amount of longass stories. As bar a few dedicated unbirth fans, I doubt this is the ‘optimal’ word length for any vore-themed story. And well, it exhausts me past a certain point. But I digress….
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Posted by skorm 1 year ago Report
This is actually quite literally a mind screw or I’m over Analyzing it , it’s so well played in universe too, The parts that poke out at me are subtle , Lettie’s forgetfulness , the headaches it’s almost as if this has all , already happened . That the beginning to this piece is already the ending , and the hive mind is just replaying the events in Lettie’s mind to soothe her to allow her consciousness and mind to be broken down further , and maybe the mansion and it’s servants as well as many paintings are just an illusion of the hive mind so Lettie doesn’t notice anything out of place. It isn’t till the middle where Teresa herself starts trying to explain things so causally such as the balloon in the dress and the reason her belly is shrinking , but it isn’t till the ending where Lettie meets her friends again and the shock of what happens and that they still have some sense of self . Only for everything to start all over again to further cause them to break them down further by giving Lettie the idea it’s all just a dream. I think the intelligence of this piece is it could be viewed in two ways one it’s happening just as typed out or two it’s already happened.
Quite corkscrew of complexity
Posted by LemonBarb 1 year ago Report
Honestly, I intended for the dream at the beginning to be a premonition for what happens at the end. With all the foreshadow being to the eventual "fate" of everyone attending Teresa's "graduation" party.
That said, did a bunch of LORE world building on this. But I'd honestly do a case of wait and see if I'd do a less verbose "afterglow" horror story, to a more dreamlike reprise?
Posted by skorm 1 year ago Report
Gotcha see what struck me as maybe there’s something more going on with lettie ,headaches and lapses in memory is there’s something much sinister going, but now I see that’s the type of person Lettie is on which even if it wasn’t the intention added a certain growing chill . I do find the foreshadowing now fundamentally fascinating and the after glow . And that’s brilliant due to the fact when we dream we have no sense of time ,in the reprisal . Thank you for clearing that up! definitely over analyzed this piece . I imagine Teresa has been doing this for quite some time now, and all under the innocent guise of a friend
Posted by LemonBarb 1 year ago Report
Oh she's been doing it for ages. Decades. Even more than a millennium, since ancient Rome?
All I'd say though is, she's went through phases herself. And her own internal collection has always been expanding. To a point that one of her ovum even crystallized due to reaching critical mass of condensed eggs. But that's just my bias speaking.
Posted by skorm 1 year ago Report
And to think you did all that world building in what would take place in a old mansion that looked beyond the medieval period, the painting’s of old Roman nobles,I bought into being just role play of being a gladiator , the dresses, the abandoned road . You blew this one out of the park and it was on the wall the whole time…I admit I was played , bravo
Posted by LemonBarb 1 year ago Report
Again, to be fair. It was a long build up, that was scrapped at one point. But I have back notes on a "part II" for Teresa's future victims, or friends. If and when I get to that point, on adding more hindsight to an erotic horror story.
Posted by skorm 1 year ago Report
The more I reread this piece do I realize the importance of rereading to catch further details such as Gudrun wife of the legendary Siegfried ,and the horror the breast milk there sampling is what’s left of Dorothy there own friend , and then left to dwell on the fact Charlotte couldn’t even escape . Really you have to reread it to process all the details even the details of how Teresa’s form subtly changes .. it’s quite horrific and detailed at the same time when you let it process.
Posted by LemonBarb 1 year ago Report
Fun fact, whose to say Teresa's bosom was from 'a' viking named Gudrun, or from an ancient history of integrated milk maids, if not a side effect of her maternal entrapment being active here?
That said, definately if I do a sequel, would show 'a' Gudrun as a 'familiar' imaginary friend, or one that's 'lucky' enough to have lingered within the ovary 'dreamscape' everyone's entrapped within.
Which reminds me of one more thing. Had notes, on other little names and characters I wanted to include, even if only in passing. But this story got bloated as is, for a "part 1", so what you see is left at that, re-read bonus, and fun interpretations. :)
Posted by skorm 1 year ago Report
Ya I’m still digging to be honest man , there’s more then enough for quite a few rereads also like the touch of my immortal at the end ! Im betting a ancient history of milk maids and a side effect of maternal entrapment or else Teresa has really seen it all and done it all!
Posted by Jaog 1 year ago Report
Once again you show why you're one of my fav. Writers on here. Another winner. You NAIL that erotic horror and entrapment so well. Just awesome work
Posted by LemonBarb 1 year ago Report
My thank you.
All I'll say is if/when I do a sequel, I'd hope to nail the entrapment horror even further, 'afterglow' special wise. Heck, was originally intending to cover that as well, until this story got so bloated it needed a "Part 2"ing instead.
If, and/or when that ever comes...
Posted by acrylic 1 year ago Report
Teresa has always been alpha, what she does is right, what she values is valuable. People likes what she does and people values what she values.
So Teresa must be believing what she does is solely for the sake of her valuable people, and they will someday understand her?
Posted by LemonBarb 1 year ago Report
Indeed, with a side dash that those Teresa finds valuable are people she's generally liked as a friend, mutual affection wise. Which leads to the implied Unbirth feast being all the more damning.
Eventually, her newest 'eternal' friends will understand her reasoning. Even if it comes from the cries of her previously preserved friends, alongside sharing Teresa's own sensations, including her senses and memories?
But yeah. If/when I do a part 2 in this, I'll love to cover the long term consequences of ovarian entrapment from the ingested view, via Dreamland comparisons at least.
Posted by acrylic 1 year ago Report
Using gestalt concept do describe ovum'ed victim's internal mind was very new.
Nice work lemon.
Posted by LemonBarb 1 year ago Report
Thanks for the complement.
Truth be told, that concept was more under the lens of wanting to do a slow burn unbirth story, right. And it's only now did I gain the experience and will to finish what I started.
Of which I'm thankful for, in a cleared backlog project manner.
Posted by Groblek 1 year ago Report
This was interesting - from the references to the narrator’s “memory glitch”, I was expecting her to turn out to be some sort of unaware pred for the first half of the story or so. Overall, it’s well done, though the character introductions were a bit verbose and could use some editing down.
I’m curious where a part 2 would go, assuming you kept the same narrator. It seems that her story’s more or less reached its end here.
Posted by LemonBarb 1 year ago Report
Heh, a bit ironic that you thought the POV would be the pred, when she's but the intended prey.
But yeah, if/when I edit this, I'll see what I can do on the verbosity in hindsight. Though my catch 22 is how to do it without losing the 'scatterbrained' protagonist's 'voice', per say.
Part 2 would be full 'requium' or reprise on Teresa's 'known' backstory, along with being primary through her 'gestalted' dreamworld, alongside a shared/symbiosis'd POV of their eternal 'warden'. And maybe, a bit of irony that the protagonist's 'scatterbrained' nature is shielding her from having her very self overwritten by Teresa's own being. If/when I get to that point, I'd intend to add an extra horror element akin to "Hikaru Genji", when it comes to Teresa's long term friends, or 'investments'.
Posted by skorm 1 year ago Report
Initially what I find so fascinating is that’s the exact same thought I had and termed it “a mind screw” but rather it turns out I got red herringed
Posted by LemonBarb 1 year ago Report
All I'll say if going mind screw on my mental head canon on Part 2, is less "Inception", more "Yumi Nikki" in dream shenanigans. With each new victim being another world, or "nose" connected to a pretty condensed "MMO", that never lets anyone leave upon joining.
Posted by skorm 1 year ago Report
That actually is a beautiful irony of what’s keeping Lettie Nail , Lettie that her greatest weakness is her greatest strength if for nothing but comedy value.
Posted by LemonBarb 1 year ago Report
Honestly, might have gotten more confused on what you intended. But in tone, Lotty's more likely to be a 'sample' case of "settling in well" (under "MMO for Life?"), in contrast to Mag's going inquisitive horror, sort of tone.
Posted by skorm 1 year ago Report
Damn well , there goes my hopes and dreams you made her such a intriguing case that I literally not only over estimated her but also had hoped she wouldn’t fall so easily . Not gonna lie you really had me in the first half tragically I guess it’s probably better off this way for her . But it does draw a question to my mind .if someone unbirthed teresa by some wild coincidence of fate would her emybro mmo’s be transferred to? Or they’d be churned hypothetically speaking
Posted by LemonBarb 1 year ago Report
Honestly, Is go in the lens of Teresa would bar such things from happening. Or if all else failed, reverse-possess or absorb the predator that entombed her from within.
But more likely they'd be devoured by her instead, unless she's feeling... Friendly, in which case to the ovum network they go.
Posted by skorm 1 year ago Report
Damn , nope don’t think she’s that charitable, and the reverse possess that’s nuts ! She could jump bodies over and over again if she wanted to makes for a interesting idea when you put it that way that’s some powerful sense of self
Posted by LemonBarb 1 year ago Report
In practice, body hopping via reverse possession is not something Teresa would indulge in bar emergency, for the bias reason of wanting to preserve her 'sence' of self.
Mind you, she'd likely adjust/mutate/warp her possessed body, until it's visually indistinguishable from her bias form. Bar that, she's also functionally immortal, especially with her occasional unbirth rituals regressing her biological clock, all the time.