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Worth a Shot (f/f) By TinyHunter -- Report

Uploaded: 7 days ago

Views: 1,760

File size: 32.78 KiB

MIME Type: application/vnd.openxmlformats-officedocument.wordprocessingml.document

Comments: 15

Favorites: 43

It's been two years since the shrinking virus appeared, and the world has become a scary place for the infected with the dawn of a new "fad."

Eighteen-year-old Nate has a shameful secret regarding the disturbing new trend, which he plans to take to his grave. But when his best friend Becca accidentally taps into his darkest fantasy, can he resist the urge to risk exposure and seize the opportunity?

Could be worth a shot...

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Comments
Alexey228mlg

Posted by Alexey228mlg 7 days ago Report

Man, very nice

TinyHunter

Posted by TinyHunter 7 days ago Report

Thanks!

Kabei

Posted by Kabei 7 days ago Report

Incredible story! Was easy to follow and has a very good plot, love to see it.

TinyHunter

Posted by TinyHunter 7 days ago Report

Thank you, I appreciate the feedback!

I'm curious to hear if people like the story and characters, and what people like about them.

muslone

Posted by muslone 7 days ago Report

Very interesting story concept. This story has many possibilities for future arcs and I'm looking forward to how you move these characters along. Does Becca and Nate become closer than just friends and how you develop this world will be interesting to read. Endless possibilities!

TinyHunter

Posted by TinyHunter 6 days ago Report

Glad you enjoyed it, and a sequel is in the works!

I think it's kind of a hard balance this kind of story...too much plot and you get too far from the vore, but too little substance and the vore ultimately feels empty. But if I can get people to enjoy the stories while also being invested in Nate and Becca, I'll feel I've succceeded.

Kabei

Posted by Kabei 6 days ago Report

It would be really nice to see more of their relationship, a possible matchup would be super cool to see unfold. Nate getting Becca more tinies and Becca sending Nate more texts of vorish teasing would be so cool to see. Maybe even a video of her swallowing something to remind him of good times to come :D

muslone

Posted by muslone 6 days ago Report

Having a twist between them would be amazing as well. Maybe a someone they both know becoming a tiny. There are so many possibilities with these two characters.

TinyHunter

Posted by TinyHunter 5 days ago Report

These are all good ideas!

Some of them might have even been read in time to make it into the sequel :P

Wolfsage

Posted by Wolfsage 5 days ago Report

This was very good. Hope to see more of this kind.

TinyHunter

Posted by TinyHunter 5 days ago Report

Thank you!

Hozomat

Posted by Hozomat 5 days ago Report

Well, using cute midriffs as thumbnails definitely catches attention easily, eh? :p

Very nice story for a first one. The first scene sets the mood right away, and the build-up was straightforward, without cutting corners too much.
And the vore scene was great. I just loved how you kept mentionning her stomach over and over, to remind us that Hope is in there, and it didn't feel too redundant. Becca's personality was the right mix of cruel, casual and cute, and Nate was... horny. I feel like there's a very personal connection there ^^

Aside from a few typos here and there (I'd probably do the same amount tbh), my few critiques would be regarding character descritpion and scene transition. You should definitely be a bit more detailed on the protagonists' apperances: face, nose, jawline, etc. It can help enhance their personalities and make them more memorable.
As for scenes, don't hesitate switching between the POVs more frequently, especially between Becca and Hope. Sometimes it felt like rewinding back in time when you switched to Hope, which kinda breaks the pace.

All in all, good job :)

TinyHunter

Posted by TinyHunter 5 days ago Report

Thank you for the detailed feedback!

And yeah, Nate is pretty much just a generic reader self-insert, so when posting on a site like this making him a horny goblin felt appropriate, lol.

The character descriptions is something I flipped back and forth on. A description that matches your fantasy can really enhance a fic, but I've also read stories where a character is described in such detail that they go against my preference, and it makes it harder for me to immerse in the fantasy. By going generic my goal was to let the reader imagine the characters as their own personal fantasy, but maybe I went too far in making the non-descript blobs. Definitely worth thinking about.

WestofJames

Posted by WestofJames 4 days ago Report

Great story! Well written and perfect length. Hope there are more to come.

TinyHunter

Posted by TinyHunter 4 days ago Report

Thanks! I think one of the hardest parts was having enough restraint to keep it short. It's really easy to get carried away with these kinds of things.