g4 :: No Substitutions Part 1 by VoidInVoid

Here's hoping that it's just a time to unwind and have some smutty fun.

That's one of the goals for this series. There will be plot elements, but they'll be few and far between, or at least less serious than the previous series.

Posted by brennen 11 months ago Report

Just finished off the side content (As well as the main content up through BCS) and wanted to provide my thoughts on the series up to this point.

Thus far, I am enjoying the series. One of the things I like about it is that I find the series to be extremely pro family. You don't create needless drama between the the different relatives, and you show them wanting to make up and move on with their lives instead of dragging things on. Another compliment similar to this is that your juggling of all of the characters never comes across like it's a soap opera. None of the relations between the characters come across a forced for the purposes of creating drama, and it's a refreshing read because of that.

That being said, I do have a couple issues. The first is that you have a common habit of listing things. If it was for something like a history book, it wouldn't look out of place and I wouldn't have an issue with it, but it does slow down the pace of the story. The second is that there are some parts of the story where character interactions come across as a little tone deaf, however most of these are relegated to Strea when she's involved in Overchurch meetings.

Outside of that, the only thing I'd advise being cautious of is introducing stuff that doesn't become relevant until much later. Reason being is that it creates a similar issue to what I had with Series 12, where it just feels like padding to the story that doesn't add anything. That's also beside how it creates the issue that the reader then has to keep track of all those little details that were unimportant at the time but become extremely relevant later. You sort-of solved this issue with the cast by reintroducing them in "Consumarry, Part Duex"; but there are other things like the silver rod Lauren found in the Ashlands, the nukes in Vice's cave, and the elf that gave Lauren the stink eye on her first trip through La Portadora that leave me wondering what those were about.

Aside from those gripes, I'd say it's a great series overall and keep up the good work. It's something I'll have to see about recommending in my circles on the net. As far as a favorite "arc", I'd hand that to "A Taste of Freedom".

Posted by VoidInVoid 11 months ago Report

I appreciate your review. Family is very important to the story, even if it's not always explicit, so I'm glad its apparent. As far as lists go, I do go a bit overboard sometimes, but I've always been one for excessive detail. Now, setups and distant payoffs are sort-of my favorite thing, but I can see how it's not everyone's cup of tea. I have plans you see; though I'm young, I don't know if I'll have the time in my life to complete the overarching story even should I live into very old age. That is the timescale I'm working on it when it comes to setups and payoffs. I, in the literal sense, am living for the subtle seed and the impactful bloom. As for those minor setups - the silver rod was actually a spent bullet casing hinting that some of the other realms weren't quite so fantasy; I don't recall listing any nukes; and the Elf was just a member of the OPUI, which you should be able to catch by her orange neckwear. As well, I highly appreciate the recommendations, and I hope you'll keep reading.

Posted by brennen 11 months ago Report

Speaking of time travel, what about Cammia?