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The Adventures of Lulu - Page 157 - Breakfast Buffet - By Megaladong - Overview
You’re the boss here and you’re tired; Xander will just have to suck it up. You tell him, “you take the first shift.”

“Uh… o-okay.”

“Is that going to be a problem?”

“No ma’am, I'll keep a watchful eye. You're in good paws, promise."

You hope so. Xander gets up and sits outside the log, and scans the forest like a good watchdog. You enter the log and curl up into a ball, and fall asleep quickly. But just before you do, you think you see Xander yawn.

You awake suddenly to a strange noise. You look outside the log; it’s still dark out but now a thick fog has settled. You don’t see Xander.

You poke your head out of the log. “Xander?” He’s not around at all. What happened to him? Did he run off? Or is there a predator? You walk out cautiously. “Xander?” Still no response.

A nearby bush rustles. Is it Xander coming back from a piss break? But it’s not; it’s Norb, the pikachu.

You get down and growl, “Norb, what the hell are you doing here? I told you I don’t want anything to do with you.”

“So you’re sleeping with a vulpix now? Guess pika-dick is too small for your loose hole? Lulu the fox fucker. Has a nice ring to it. Wait till I tell the tribe what you've become,” Norb snides.

“I didn’t sleep with him. We are a team, he is helping me find a Thunder Stone. What’s it to a failed rapist like you anyways; and what did you do to him?”

“Oh Lulu, don’t worry about him. It’s just you and me now.” Norb begins to walk towards you.

"Get away Norb, I'm not going to fuck you!"

"I'm not here to fuck you, Lulu. What I did back at the tribe was try to save you, honest. But you seem hell-bent on becoming food for some lucky predator. So I thought, why waste your meat on some other Pokemon? Might as well keep the flesh inside the species." He smiles, but the smile doesn't look like any pikachu's smile you've seen; his teeth are sharp, like a predator's.

You growl and try to flash sparks but nothing comes out. You are sure you should be well-rested enough to have electricity. Norb keeps approaching with an evil toothy grin. You turn and try to run away but your legs are weak and it feels like you are treading water. What the hell is wrong with you? Norb quickly catches up and tackles you. He wrestles you to the ground, pinning you on your back.

“Get off me you fucking freak!” You yell at Norb.

"Mmm, you look so good. They say we taste great; that's why so many things love to hunt us. Guess I'm about to find out if that’s true.” He begins savagely licking your neck. You scream for help. Is this really happening? Are you about to be cannibalized by Norb? Norb groans in pleasure as though he is eating a tasty berry. Then he opens his jaw wide over your neck. You can feel his hot breath.

"No, Norb, pleas..." But it's too late.

You open your eyes wide as he takes a bite. It was just a dream, but it felt so real. You realize you are making eye contact with a big brown eye. You look down and see a spiky brown and white tail swishing happily. You try and scream for help but all that comes out are curdles of blood. You then try to Thundershock but the blood loss has sapped your energy. You are good as dead now. While you slept a zigzagoon snuck in the log and dug its teeth deep in your neck. You panic, throwing your weight around. It’s no use; the zigzagoon isn’t much bigger size wise but it is much heavier. The opportunistic zigzagoon keeps its prey pinned to the ground. Its bristly fur scratches you. You struggle in vain for two long minutes as blood slowly leaves your body, trying to make noise so Xander can hear. Where the fuck is the bastard anyway?

Finally, the blood loss is too much and you go limp. The zigzagoon whines quietly in victory. Satisfied you are ready to eat without making too much noise, it rips your throat out. Blood spews on the happy zigzagoon face. You see your red and yellow flesh tossed in the air and gulped down in two gulps. The zigzagoon licks its lips in pleasure. It looks at you with content, panting with tongue out, breathing directly on your face; it smells of blood and pikachu.

The zigzagoon sniffs you and nudges you on your side. You can now see out of the log. Xander is fine, sleeping peacefully in a cute little ball. That fucker, he fell asleep on you, and you have to pay the price. You try and gurgle him awake but he just grunts and snuggles in tighter. You wonder if he will even care that he got you killed.

The zigzagoon is unimpeded in its feast. It opens its jaws wide over your belly. You try to reach out your paw to stop it but you can’t move. You brace yourself. You watch in horror as the zigzagoon effortlessly bites your soft yellow underbelly, pinching the flesh. The strong jaws and sharp teeth rip your gut out, spilling the contents on the ash below. The pain is incredible but all you can do is convulse meekly.

The zigzagoon looks so happy with a maw full of red meat, guts, and yellow fur. It quickly scarfs down its meal without chewing. It begins playing in your guts. It roots around and rolls in them, covering its neck in blood. All the while you watch in horror as the zigzagoon uses your gore as a toy.

This is so degrading, to be killed by a lone zigzagoon. And it's all Xander's fault too. Teaming up with him was a mistake; he couldn't even stay up to watch guard. Over the next couple minutes, you watch the zigzagoon enjoying eating you at its own pace, slurping guts down, tearing off fresh chunks of meat, and occasionally looking at you with smug satisfaction. Finally, you begin to blackout. No longer do the zigzagoon's bites hurt, as your body becomes numb. You feel so cold. Your ears ring and vision tunnels. You are not that mad now. In fact, you are pretty sanguine about your fate. At least the zigzagoon is enjoying your taste, and maybe it will leave leftovers for Xander when he wakes up. It's a strange thought but you embrace it with open arms. As you fade, a peace washes over you.


Xander yawns. What a good night’s sleep. He smacks his jowls gently. He gets up and stretches, accompanied by the morning’s second yawn. It’s early morning now and the sky is a rich red. Why was he sleeping outside his log? Uh-oh. He remembers now.

“Uh, Lulu?” He turns around to check if Lulu is fine. “Oooooo… yeah, that's not good.” The inside of his log is a horror scene. Blood and gore coat most of the inside. Lulu is in pieces, her head is missing, she has been completely disemboweled, and one of her legs has been torn off and is gone.

“Oops. Yeah, that’s my bad.” He fell asleep on his shift. Whatever got a hold of Lulu must have been hungry. He feels bad but before he can fully process his guilt, his stomach rumbles. The sight and smell of the gruesome scene would make most herbivores nauseous but to Xander, it looks like a buffet.

No sense in letting all of this fresh meat go to waste. He walks in the log and sniffs around. Beneath the scent of Lulu’s blood is a hint of zigzagoon. Xander knows a zigzagoon has been lurking around here for some time. It’s his fault. Xander has been killing pidgey and taking them back to his log. After he failed in the rut, he lost his appetite, and he had been eating little of his kills. Often when he woke up, the kill was gone. The smell told him it was a zigzagoon but he didn’t care to track it. His killing wasn’t about the food anyway. The zigzagoon must have checked here every night for Xander’s leftovers when it saw Lulu. It slipped his mind. A predator the size of a zigzagoon is not much threat, even when sleeping, but to a pikachu a zigzagoon is bad news, especially when asleep.

Xander gets to Lulu’s rib cage and sniffs deep. It smells so good. He bites into the ribs with a nice crunch and starts heating his maw. The flames cook the meat and singe the fur off. Xander then gobbles it down quickly. He goes back for more.

The guilt of getting Lulu killed fades into the background. Teaming up with her was a mistake. Xander is a predator and this was most likely how it was going to end sooner or later. He thought tagging along would teach him how to be different, like a pikachu, but that was never going to happen. In that moment of feasting on Lulu, he swears next year will be different. If he is lucky enough to survive, he will go into the rut with conviction. If he dies challenging another reynard, then so be it. Death would be preferable to another year without a mate.

Xander eats his Lulu breakfast. Ever since Lulu said yes to him, his appetite turned ravenous, and he eats more than he thought possible. Almost all of Lulu is gone now. It's time to leave the central forest and return home, to the south.

He heads off into the forest, heading south. But before he does he looks at his stomach and says, "sorry Lulu. I guess I let you down. But I think it worked out okay. At least you'll be a part of me now. I won't waste you up the food chain, promise. I'll make sure I survive next winter, and if I have a vixen kit, I'll name her after you."

Xander smiles as if he is waiting for a response. He gets one in the form of a happy gurgling stomach. She must approve.


Thus ending your story. You were let down by your teammate and you paid the ultimate price. A lucky zigzagoon reaped the rewards. You are forgotten by the tribe as just another member lost to the foreboding wilderness. But the zigzagoon and Xander remember you. To the zigzagoon, you were the best meal it has ever had. It usually has to scavenge or has to eat garbage to get its fill. Sometimes it gets lucky and eats an egg or a pidgey hatchling. But you were its first full fresh kill and you tasted oh so good.

And to Xander, you were more than just a delicious meal. He felt a little bad for getting you killed but he couldn't be too upset; after all, he did get a free breakfast from the deal. But more than that, your death was like a turning of a new chapter; one in which he stopped being a pushover and started taking charge of his own life. He accepted that he was a predator and a tod and started standing his ground. He kept his promise, and next spring, now with four tails, lands a cute five-tailed vixen. He has two kits, one a female, and names her Lulu, after the unfortunate pikachu who helped turn his life around. He lives the rest of his life a respectable tod and has many kits. You leave no legacy. But hey, at least Xander turned out better for it.
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