Then again, she hasn't gotten fat on sweet cakes and tea, and if anyone could get away with eating you, it'd be Daelfi. You've never heard of anyone getting eaten in the Lost Woods. That is, not in a really long time.
Deciding the woods are the safer bet, you politely decline Daelfi's offer, who seems slightly disappointed, but unsurprised. You nod goodbye, and head to the entrance of the Lost Woods, a disgruntled Navi in tow. As you near the hollow log that leads into the labrynth, you feel an eerie wind wafting out, accompanied by a spooky, faint howling noise. Saria has led you through the maze many times before, but you've never gone alone. You balk for a brief moment, swallowing nervously. Cautiously, you slowly enter the wooded maze.
It is unnervingly silent inside, and there seems to be a strange darkness hanging over the place. The wind is slight and chilly, and dark clouds cover what little sky is visible overhead. You shiver, and press onward, not wanting to stay here a moment longer than you must. Even Navi is uncharacteristically quiet.
Many ages ago, before the Deku Tree, this had been a place of magic and darkness, populated by strange creatures.... Hungry creatures. They stalked these woods, protecting the ancient temple from outsiders, devouring all who entered.
Those times are eons past, and the fell predators have long since been banished by the Deku Tree's power, but the bones of their digested victims can still be found... Along with much of their equipment. That is what brings you here. Luckily, the only things that inhabit these woods now are small animals and birds.
And Skull Kid.
You shudder and put her from your mind. She probably isn't real, you tell yourself. Just a fairy tale, a story the girls made up to tease and torment their boys. Still, you can't help but glance over your shoulder to ensure that Navi is still with you.
Instead of the familiarity of Navi's sprightly, winged glow, you see blackness rushing toward you, a solid wall of darkness enveloping the woods behind you. A roaring, windy sound rises as the murk grows nearer, faint at first, but growing louder and louder until it deafens you. Your head spins, your eyes widen, and your breath freezes as you stare trembling into the black rushing towards you. You shriek as it hits you like a front of strong winds, submerging you in in darkness. You raise your arms to shield your face from the blast of dark air, and you feel your hat fly off your head. You cry for help, but the only reply is the rush of air around you and a crescendo of eerie whispers that linger at the edge of your hearing. It seems to go on forever, and your ears feel like they may burst from all the noise. Your thundering heartbeats and screaming voice are utterly drowned out as you squeeze your eyes shut and clamp your hands over your ears.
And then it stops. You stop screaming, heaving and shuddering with fear. Slowly, you drop your hands and raise your head, opening your eyes warily.
The eyes staring back at you are like none you've ever witnessed, wide and yellow and round, set in a strangely shaped face, painted with blue and red patterns. Spikes jut off from the face, and a ragged, almost silly hat crowns its head. You stare back with a sense of doom creeping over you, as the stories come rushing back, tales of a twisted, demented creature, consumed by hunger and hatred for all mankind.
"Hello, Hero... Long time no see," says Skull Kid, her voice raspy and high pitched. You only stare, terrified and confused. If there's one thing you know, it's that you have never met Skull Kid. If there's another, it's that you are no hero. You manage to shake your head, indicating that she's got the wrong guy. She giggles. "Aw, don't remember me? Too bad." She leans in, and you hear her sniff. "Mm, you got a nice new body, don't ya?" You whimper, just knowing you're about to be eaten. Where could Navi have gone? Skull kid eyes you for a moment longer. "Don't worry, Hero. I'm not gonna eatcha. Not today," she says, then leans in so close that you fall over backwards. She hovers over you, staring down with those evil, unblinking eyes. "Just remember... When your journey is finished... Just when you think you've succeeded...at the moment you least expect it... It's gonna be me that eats you. You'll end in me, just like last time. Don't forget that...." With those words ringing in your ears, she reaches up... And takes her face off. Behind it is only blackness and a pair of red eyes. A hole opens up in that darkness, and when her tongue drops out you realize it's her mouth. Hot saliva drips onto your cheek, and her breath wafts softly over your face. You squeeze your eyes shut and scream as you feel that tongue slide against your chin and her lips glide over your head....
Your eyes open and jerk upright with a gasp. Skull Kid is gone, as is the blackness that had surrounded you. Navi is fluttering overhead. "What in Ganon's flame is wrong? What happened? You've been screaming and shaking and crying forever!"
Breathing heavily, you look around frantically, looking for any sign of those big yellow eyes. You cover your face and try to calm down, then frown as you feel something on your cheek. You wipe it away with your hand and stare at the little smear of spittle on your palm.
"Well??" Navi urges, and you begin telling her what happened, still trembling. You don't get very far before the fairy interrupts you. "Ugh, hallucination, I should have guessed. Get up already, Deku Tree is still waiting you know."
You sigh, and try to put the episode from your mind, but her strange words keep coming back. New body? Hero? Journey? You're just a simple Kokiri boy, and the only journey you're ever likely to take is the journey through Saria's belly when she finally decides you'd make a better snack than a friend.
You stand up, eager to get out of these woods once and for all. First, you must find your hat, which is still missing. You survey the trees around you, and immefiately spy the green cap, caught on something just beyond the trees. You edge nearer, keeping an eye out for a pair of huge yellow eyes. You reach into the trees and grab the hat, and you Yelp in surprise and leap back as you see what it was a hooked on.
It's a sword, stabbed into the ground next to a pile of dirty, broken bones. The empty eye sockets of it's skull peer up at you, and you warily place your hat on your head. Navi again comes floating over to you from where she was looking. "What is it now??" She demands, before looking down and spying the pile of bones. "Oh, him," she giggles. "You are such a baby. Grab the sword, already, and... Oh look, a shield too!"
She's right, there is a worn, cracked wooden shield behind the bones, with a faded red swirl in the middle. You take both the sword and shield in your hands, feeling them out and testing their weight. They seem tailor-made for a person your size, and after a second glance, you realize the bones are that of a child... Or a very small person. Curious, to be sure, but you're more interested in leaving these woods and never returning. Saria's bowels would be paradise compared to the horrors you are now certain live here. As you and Navi reach the exit, you take one last look behind you, and shiver as you feel an eerie chill come over you. You hastily follow your fairy out of the woods.
Upon Navi's urging,you hurry through the village to your summit with a tree. You glance over at Saria's house as you pass and spot her squatting in her flowerbed, grunting as bits of brown and bone slide out of her butt. You blush and turn away, hurrying past. Mido has been transferred from guard duty to garden doodie, so nothing stops you from heading into the trees on your way to meet the Deku Tree at last.
Only now are you really offered a chance to wonder what he wants to see you for, as you make your way cautiously towards the clearing. You're nobody special, and you've never actually spoken to the tree yourself, so what could he-
Your thoughts are cut off