Have you ever had somebody shame you for your preferences?

[Cowrie]

Eh, no problem. I'm still very much a closeted asexual IRL so am not used to taking flak for it like you have. In that context I understand your reaction.

Thanks for understanding.

[Humbug]

Fatal Vore? On here? That happens on dA all the time but on Eka's? Ooo...Anyways, It's good to see that they're gone now, Eka's doesn't need people like them. But...Why would they jump on you for such a common preference? Loads of people like fatal!
I think that when you mean "Sick garbage" you mean "Extreme or grotesque content", just so nobody leaps on you, but I understand what you mean. You're making some decent points.
Some people do get in a bit of a knot, but as long as you continue you calm them down and explain that maybe they're being a tad oversensitive, it's all cool.

You were close with your interpretation. By "sick garbage," I just mean "similarly weird fetish content." I guess I just take for granted that I've been around here for over a decade and that people know my mannerisms. XD
I've got a very rough, tongue-in-cheek way of looking at fetish content. I don't take it seriously, and I don't think people really should. Like, I'm WAY into vore, don't get me wrong, but I also recognize that looking in from the outside, it's really gross and weird and more than a little bit silly. And that's fine. I think a bunch of stuff people are into is really gross and weird too, but I recognize that it's simply not my thing, and as long as it's not hurting anyone, it's fine. That includes fantasy depictions of pedophilia/child molestation.

But yeah. Things have really calmed down on Eka's in recent years thanks largely to our moderators being very willing to deal with harassment and our culture being properly directed by folks like Eka herself toward reporting that kind of garbage. Most of the shit I got was on Fur Affinity. This one instance, which was the worst, just happened to be here. As someone earlier in the thread said, the vast majority of people in the community are fantastic. There's just a couple assholes out there who get their panties in a bunch when something gives them the bad feels.



Oh, and it's AMAZING how stupid and hypocritical the idea that M/F vore is "sexist" is. Like, isn't sexism about perpetuating inequality? Then by assigning hard and fast roles to the sex of the characters, congratulations, you're being sexist.

[Ghrelin]

i haven't personally received any such comments, since i'm not very active. but while lurking around the forums and comments, i've seen plenty of negativity directed toward "anyone who likes [insert thing i like]", as well as lots of assertions that "[opposite of thing i like] is just objectively better/more correct/natural" as though anyone who has different tastes is wrong. but that's how it goes i guess.

[IddlerItaler]

Countless times.

When I first delved into the fetish about four years ago, M/F vore was pretty much non-existent. At the time, I didn't understand why, since I was new to the vore community, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. As I was soon to find, liking male preds and especially M/F vore was largely unwelcome, looked down upon, spoken out against spitefully, made fun of, etc. And instead of turning tail and leaving (though I did consider it at the time), I decided to grab the bull by the horns. I questioned the lack and immediately decided that I was going to start creating the content I wanted to see, not just for myself, but for others like me who might come into the fetish and see that their preferences are not embraced and have trouble finding people to enjoy them with.

Well, being outspoken and loud about my interests in M/F vore turned me into something of a target. It was especially bad on tumblr. Although there were also people here who would also complain---including someone who would post in the threads that I made about male preds and complain that I made 'too many threads about it', when I made literally 3 in a whole year, and one who eventually got banned for publicly harassing me and saying he even created a new account just for the sake of said harassment. I had some past issues with people posting rude comments on my art at times, too, and being laughed out of Eka's chat years ago when I was looking for male preds to play with my female prey character. But the anonymity that tumblr supplies basically became a platform for people to ridicule me and accuse me of all sorts of things, including things like 'breeding rapists' with my content, being sexist/misogynist, countless complaints and even citings of 'proof' of why female preds should be the only 'true' preds, claims that I'm against women, a gross and terrible person, and someone who even said they would imagine me in vore scenarios as a pred and get off to it. Needless to say, it wasn't a very fun time. I left my vore tumblr and Eka's several times for several months at a time during some of the rougher bouts. Eventually, I got to the point where I just started to sass everyone who sent me nasty messages or delete them entirely. And at that point, I was committed. What these people aimed to do was to discourage me and likely stop my content flow of the things they didn't like or want to see. Giving them that would a major mistake, especially since I had a lot of fun making said content and getting all that M/F out there for the niche group of people that enjoyed it.

Things have gotten a lot better since then, although that did go on for several years. But now I know quite a few people who enjoy the same sort of content as me and things are a lot warmer in those groups and in a discord group that a friend of mine created. Now the most discourse I get on tumblr is occasionally someone who takes issue with me liking fatal vore. And that tends to be more of a passive-aggressive thing than the hostility that I met previously for my preferences of M/F.

But yeah, it was a big issue for me when I was first getting started here and for several years after. As a woman who enjoys fantasies of dominant men and loves and enjoys fatal and rather darker aspects of M/F vore (and humanoid preds), my preferences didn't fit very well in a community like this. A lot of people can't differentiate fantasy from reality and thus relate things like enjoying M/F (especially on the fatal side) to things like sexism, anti-feminism, etc. But with perseverance, I've made my place and found other people to enjoy that space with and I enjoy making and sharing content. I don't let the crap get to me anymore, the few times I'm faced with it any longer. And although I have also heard from several people over the years who struggled to get out of lurking because they were afraid of backlash and being unwelcome for M/F prefs, things have gotten infinitely better.

The real key is, when someone shames you for your prefs and what you like---love it harder. Make more content. Discuss it more. Ignore them, sass them, let them know that they can't stop you from enjoying what you enjoy. Eventually they're going to give up and move on. For anyone that has dealt with any type of hostility or rudeness like that, the best thing you can do is not give them what they want. Don't let them have power over you and your actions or to chase you out or stop you from being vocal about what you like. Yeah, it sucks when people send you nasty messages or parade around loudly about disliking what you like, etc. But they can't stop you. And you can and will find other people that enjoy what you enjoy if you look hard enough. Keep your head up!

"It's so comforting to find communities dedicated to a fetish. It's like a secret club! People there know what it's like to be considered "weirdos" and suffer constant pressure to conform by broader society, so they will be very understanding and accommodating of others' tastes, right?"

...Nope, turns out that the members of the "Niche fetish club" can be just as willing to shame and pressure those who choose "Niche fetish club: flavour B" over flavour A or viceversa, with the same fervour and viciousness as broader society strikes against the "Niche fetish club" itself. Turns out that even in safe spaces, you can't always escape people being people.

I'm really sorry for what you've endured, and brava on you for defying the haters! Also thanks to Eka for the statement about trying to curtail that kind of nasty hypocritical nonsense here.

[BlackWidow552]

I write Underage vore and have done for many years for some reason it is a subject that is taboo and while I have not had any comments come my way, mostly because I keep quiet about it. I have seen some very nasty comments about underage vore from those that really hate it. There is a thread call Deal Breakers in Vore, within that thread are posts that instead of simply saying, I don't like underage; they rant and rage about how it is disgusting and that anyone who writes, reads or puts up drawings should be arrested and dealt with harshly. Some of the comments are extremely vitriolic.

There are several areas of vore that I don't like, but I simply choose to not read/view them I don't go hating on those that do like it. I have the freedom of choice to either consume the material or not to if I don't like it, I don't need to berate people for liking something I find distasteful.

I get it where underage is concerned, most view vore as being sexual in nature and therefore using underage is tantamount to paedophilia. I don't really like to use sex in my stories, but some of the readers like it so I have on occasion incorporated it.

I have been into child vore since I was five years old, mostly because the other girls in my class looked so good I had immediate thoughts about how good they would taste and so wanted to to eat them, there was nothing sexual about it and still isn't really.

I grew up enjoying kids monster stories about monsters under the bed eating naughty children and those stories stuck with me for life. But the hatred from some about the subject is really quite upsetting and has sometimes made me want to simply stop writing altogether. I mean you're on a site about eating people alive and they attack because some prefer the idea of a child being eaten instead of an adult.

If you don't like the idea that is fine, I can accept that, but to insult, denigrate, attack and label people who view underage as sick and twisted, when you're fantasizing about either being eaten or eating someone else is damn hypocritical.

[FishnorFowl]

I don’t remember anyone coming after me specifically but since I like both fatal/ nonfatal and endo/digestion/reformation, any gender combination of preds/prey, and I can enjoy almost any species of prey/pred ( I prefer preds/prey with humanoid body plans like humans/oids, anthros, etc, but I’m flexible) all that stuff, I see a lot of hate towards stuff I’m into from all across the board

Also while hardcore eager n willing isn’t a dealbreaker, I prefer the spectrum from reluctant to unwilling over prey being enthusiastic and I’ve seen people be hateful about that sort of thing, although I see way more hate about dubcon/noncon as a whole than when it comes to vore specifically, it still aggravates me though cause dubcon and noncon in vore are still dubcon/noncon even if there’s no sex, I don’t want their approval

[Sitharc]

What Widow said... all I have to say with that is 'This!'

I'm sure I've been shamed for some of my tastes, likely behind my back if nothing else, but directly I haven't been for a long time. I do my best to not look at types of content I personally don't enjoy and even if I do stumble across it, I don't go leaving comments picking it apart or trying to inject my preferred headcanon regarding the piece. I know there's a piece in my gallery where someone tried to do that just because they didn't like the idea that in the original context of the piece, the prey was going to die and was going to become feces. There some others I see now and then despite claiming how much they dislike this or that content cant help but voice their distaste in someway in the comments of works containing the content they claim to hate seeing.

[DevourerOfLolis]

So far, the only time I've ever been personally shamed for my specific tastes in vore was on this site.
I once read and favorited this one M/F vore story that I rather liked. A few days later though, the writer of that story PM'd me and told me to remove his story from my favorites. The reason was that he didn't "want his stuff associated with my kinda people". Said he looks through people that favorites his stuff and didn't want a specific crowd following him. When I asked him to elaborate, he said he didn't want people who are into death, digestion and underaged prey following him and it's "his right as an author" to tell me to remove his story. Needless to say, I removed that favorite and decided to never look at that guy's stuff again.
Granted, when considering the shit that I'm into, I'm honestly shocked that that's the only time anyone ever personally shamed me for my fetishes. Not sure if I'm just lucky or it has something to do with the fact that I tend to keep quiet a lot.

[IddlerItaler]

So far, the only time I've ever been personally shamed for my specific tastes in vore was on this site.
I once read and favorited this one M/F vore story that I rather liked. A few days later though, the writer of that story PM'd me and told me to remove his story from my favorites. The reason was that he didn't "want his stuff associated with my kinda people". Said he looks through people that favorites his stuff and didn't want a specific crowd following him. When I asked him to elaborate, he said he didn't want people who are into death, digestion and underaged prey following him and it's "his right as an author" to tell me to remove his story. Needless to say, I removed that favorite and decided to never look at that guy's stuff again.
Granted, when considering the shit that I'm into, I'm honestly shocked that that's the only time anyone ever personally shamed me for my fetishes. Not sure if I'm just lucky or it has something to do with the fact that I tend to keep quiet a lot.

In complete fairness, if any name popping up in a notifications feed were to shock an author, "DevourerOfLolis" would be amongst the likelier candidates. Not all authors have the gift of anonimity either, and they can be paranoid about getting witch-hunted across multiple sites for being lolicons or suspected lolicons even if the suspicion is only "Hey, a user named DevourerOfLolis left a comment praising this artist's Eka's profile, clearly the artist makes loli vore content!"

Still sorry for your experience getting attacked over your preferences.

[DevourerOfLolis]

In complete fairness, if any name popping up in a notifications feed were to shock an author, "DevourerOfLolis" would be amongst the likelier candidates. Not all authors have the gift of anonimity either, and they can be paranoid about getting witch-hunted across multiple sites for being lolicons or suspected lolicons even if the suspicion is only "Hey, a user named DevourerOfLolis left a comment praising this artist's Eka's profile, clearly the artist makes loli vore content!"

Still sorry for your experience getting attacked over your preferences.

True. Shock value was one of the main reasons for my username. Still though, the fact that that is the only notable case of someone shaming me for my kink still baffles me. You'd think a person like me would be getting a shit ton of hate with this username. The only theory for why that is the case that I could think of is, because other lolicon authors aren't as obvious with their usernames, people will read their works only to get blindsided when they reach the underaged stuff. Probably by not paying attention to the tags (Something I admit I'm guilty of a few times). Since they weren't expecting it, it pisses them off enough to lash out at them.
But with me, you know right from the get go what you're probably be getting if you view my content. So they know right away to avoid me. Thus not discovering halfway through a story I make loli stuff and getting pissed off when they see it.

But that's just me throwing out theories.

[Randomdude5]

I sometimes RP on the chatroom, and I really like M/F vore. I started RP with a adult human male pred, and have had a few good RPs. I made the mistake of approaching someone who didn't have partner gender sliders, and got some insults for approaching them as a male pred. I have also gotten rare insults out of the blue for being a male pred, but haven't had any in over a year. TBF, I have gotten more random compliments about being a human male pred, then random insults.

I made a cute shota pred(well more like early teens), and have NEVER gotten insulted for playing an underage character, and even had more compliments for my underage character than my adult character.

I guess playing a human adult male pred, is more offensive than an underage character...........

[IddlerItaler]

On a sillier note: fans of "SFW" vore (as in, no genitals or sex) bashing on sexual vore.

I've seen some comments with that sentiment, but I want to believe they were in jest, since to be a voraphile and a prude... I mean, asexual people with fetishes do exist and most of them are trying to live in peace and not bother anyone, and that's a different thing - but to be part of a fetish group and want to oppress regular sexuality by resurrecting Victorian talking points ("Sex is perverted!", "Begone, thot!", "Your story is all lewdness, I want REAL substance")... One might as well laugh to avoid crying.

[TinyCalico]

I have gotten shit from pretty much every type of toxic and whiny vore fan, because I like most types of oral vore. If I talk about how much I like fatal, I get shit from people saying that the stuff I like is cruel/sadistic and how I must be a psychopath to enjoy that type of content. If I say I like safe, I get complaints about how it’s not realistic and I’m a pussy for not being able to enjoy this character dying horribly (even though I enjoy fatal in a good amount of scenarios). I haven’t been shamed for liking sexual vore, but when I say I like nonsexual vore (I know vore is a kink anyways, but nonsexual vore just means no sex/nudity involved), then I’m accused of being a prude who can’t handle a little nudity (I can, but not 24/7). I can’t win even though I like both things -.-

[IddlerItaler]

If I talk about how much I like fatal, I get shit from people saying that the stuff I like is cruel/sadistic and how I must be a psychopath to enjoy that type of content. If I say I like safe, I get complaints about how it’s not realistic and I’m a pussy for not being able to enjoy this character dying horribly (even though I enjoy fatal in a good amount of scenarios).

Be a fan of reformation/sentient fat to get levelled with both accusations. "You want your prey to die, but you don't want to deal with the guilt of admitting it!" Like no, maybe I just like the wonder and possibility brought from playing around with a setting's magic.

[Alicy]

I have been shamed for being into endo, especially if nsfw endo. Akso being shamed for liking m pred and for being a f prey.

I am also used to see shaming in this community for a long time, on almost every sides as long as that side is the majority. People on Eka’s talkibg badly of non-fatal, people on DA talking badly of fatal and nsfw endo. An almost universal shaming on anything specifics (healing vore, scat, og unbirth, non-digestive related ways to be eaten and any other’s non common one really.) even some of the big vore ways like Anal Vore get comments both in gallery and in forum on how disgusting it is…


Sorry for listing all this, I just have seen so many people quit the vore community due to shaming and harassment…

[thirdaltaccount]

If you don't like the idea that is fine, I can accept that, but to insult, denigrate, attack and label people who view underage as sick and twisted, when you're fantasizing about either being eaten or eating someone else is damn hypocritical.

BlackWidow, as someone who has seen you across the site and consistently reacted in some modicum of shock and horror at your posts, I could not agree more. I think regardless of preference, we should all probably take a step back and realize that this is a forum for people who enjoy the idea of either being consumed or consuming other creatures. No matter how much we may want to romanticize it or justify it as nature, we're all slightly unhinged and judging someone is throwing a stone in one very brittle glass house. Look, I may find some things morally reprehensible on a personal level, but this is all - technically - fantasy. No-one here is going to go out and devour someone. I hope. We all have a level of abstraction we must adhere to, and in that sense, this ultimately isn't that harmful to others unless there's an explicit desire to cross that barrier or to indulge in some other act of depravity. I don't think any of us really chose this, and it's not fair to discriminate on that basis. Judge based on actions - not a desire beyond someone's control. We all have our outlets and need to partake in a little vice every now and then. The fact that we're all here is testament enough to that fact.

[IddlerItaler]

No matter how much we may want to romanticize it or justify it as nature, we're all slightly unhinged and judging someone is throwing a stone in one very brittle glass house.

I agree with the crux of your discourse, but I want to say that I don't consider myself unhinged, nor a degenerate, nor a weirdo - sometimes I do consider myself weird, but usually due to things unrelated to my vore and mouth fetish. At the same time, there is nothing wrong with you feeling horrified at certain types of content and preferences here; you're wise enough to differentiate between a person who possesses horrifying fantasies but goes about it in a respectful way and someone who is just gross, morally and in everything.

Someone like BlackWidow firmly falls in the former camp. Sites have a duty to keep an eye out for people who fall in the latter camp, both for the sake of a site/fetish's reputation and because of essential morality - however a lot of internet people go about this in a very dumb way, which is to direct harassment at people like BlackWidow and push them into either solitude or the company of the latter camp. And well, targeting artists or porn sites to fight pedos is like the drunken man who searches for his keys under a lamp post, even knowing he dropped them a few blocks back.

Anyways, back onto my original tangent. I've spoken about the toxic, hypocritical judgmental attitude people can have in fetish communities earlier. Another issue is when fetish communities fill up with people who think "We're all degenerates here anyway, so anything goes right?" and conflate having odd kinks and fetishes with actual degeneracy in a moral sense, leading to some not-so-fun times. Some of the language we take for granted in fetish communities can be kinda depreciative, and while degradation is a kink for many here (including me, sometimes), it sometimes feels like a fetish's greatest critics are those who have that fetish themselves.

[ScrambleandClick]

I've had this happen more times than I can count. Generally, I've found it due to the following reasons:

• The viewer wants to get off as quickly as possible and wants characters simplified to get to the faps quicker.
• The viewer asks questions that look like feedback, but are also ways to insert their specific kinks into the setting.
• The viewer pigeonholes the purpose of the setting or a character based on the fact vore is possible. This often leads to accusations of shallowness towards the creator despite... demanding more shallowness.

This can be frustrating when one is attempting to write content that feels true to oneself, but isn't focused on sexual appeal to a wider audience.

I'll admit I've withdrawn from the vore community when it comes to getting critique b/c of the above points. It's easier to get critique respectful of artistic direction outside of kink communities, even for kink friendly content.

[DSUHO]

yes, i was on the mugen vore community and i was shamed alot for my liking toward the character neco arc chaos from melty blood