Where will life lead you?
 
 
Even with all the power you could possibly have, there's no way to completely control your future.
 
 
I would have never imagined I would be doing this now. Eating people, that is.
 
 
They're just too obedient, too willing to feed me. How could I not think of them as food? As prey?
 
 
I know this is all my own doing. I control the will of these people, if it weren't for me they would never choose to do any of this. But I exist, and I am here.
 
 
I can't help myself. I feel like I've been missing out on this my whole life. Maybe if they were stronger they'd be able to survive and to run, but I am just so superior to them in every way, that they don't stand a chance, or want to.
 
 
Clearly they're satisfied with this being their fate. I don't even know why guilt ghosts me.
 
 
Hah,.. there's no remedying me. It's a cruel fact that my body yearns for this, no matter how much I try to deny it and fight it. I know it's wrong but it just feels too good. I feel alive.
 
 
How would I tell her about this? I hate hiding myself from her. I want her to know.
 
 
Yes, I want her to know. And to accept it.
 
 
This doesn't change much, does it? Blood was already on my hands, I had crossed the line long ago. I pretended to have walked it back for a long time, but I never truly did. The smile on my face proves it. The way my heart races proves it. I'm addicted, even if that word sounds too lowly and scummy for someone like me.
 
 
Ah, I can't even deceive myself, I know it perfectly fits me. I know it, but I also don't.
 
 
It's like a pendulum, it swings from one side to the other. Guilt and pride, restrain and savagery, dying and living.
 
 
It used to be easier to deny. Sometimes I yearn for that separation once more. It's not easy to fully embrace how amoral I truly am. I'm a fucking animal.