You need to think about puntuation, spelling and grammar.
Some your senteces had no full stops and just kept going onto the next sentence. You spelt several words incorrectly. You changed between the suffixes(past/present) on many of the verbs that you used and added additional spaces where there shouldn't be any eg. right in the middle on a sentece.
You should reread everything you write to make sure it not only makes sence to yourself but also to the people who will be reading it.
The idea and basis of the story however, was good. Nice Idea.
Posted by VoraciousArtistry 16 years ago Report
You need to think about puntuation, spelling and grammar.
Some your senteces had no full stops and just kept going onto the next sentence. You spelt several words incorrectly. You changed between the suffixes(past/present) on many of the verbs that you used and added additional spaces where there shouldn't be any eg. right in the middle on a sentece.
You should reread everything you write to make sure it not only makes sence to yourself but also to the people who will be reading it.
The idea and basis of the story however, was good. Nice Idea.
Posted by 4_thy Dark Rose 14 years ago Report
not sure why but im unable to see any text in the box
Posted by GUEST19216 11 years ago Report
same
Posted by Mattacue 9 years ago Report
You need to click download to see the story
Posted by GUEST19216 9 years ago Report
thanks
Posted by tacaloking 10 years ago Report
theres nothing please repost