But you aren't particularly looking for 'em. Okeydokey. My shortened critique would be, then, your content is good. You show some original material and you do unexpected things at times, which is the trait of a good writer. The main thing that bugged me is the use of apostrophes to construct plural (more than one) words ("Their attention's turned to the arena). I see that a lot these days, but it's still uncommon enough that it makes a work look a bit unprofessional. Unless it is possessive (Tyamet's story) or a contraction (it is = it's), there shouldn't be any apostrophes.
Guess that's the grammarian in me, but there's a short critique. Hope you find it useful.
I have to be honest. I like this ending better. I've got a soft spot for cat girls, so in the end of the last one when Catalina was forced to become Neroth's sex slave kinda made me want to rip his head off and shove it up his snakey ass. But still, both stories were great works. ^^ I liked them very much, more pleased with the Tyamet Victory ending than with the Tyamet Eaten ending.
Posted by Humbug 16 years ago Report
Cool as the alternate ending was, this one is much more satisfying.
Sometimes vore can just be anticlimactic. :P
Also...how do you feel about critiques? Yea? Nay?
Posted by Tyamet2000 16 years ago Report
I don't mind them.
Posted by Humbug 16 years ago Report
But you aren't particularly looking for 'em. Okeydokey. My shortened critique would be, then, your content is good. You show some original material and you do unexpected things at times, which is the trait of a good writer. The main thing that bugged me is the use of apostrophes to construct plural (more than one) words ("Their attention's turned to the arena). I see that a lot these days, but it's still uncommon enough that it makes a work look a bit unprofessional. Unless it is possessive (Tyamet's story) or a contraction (it is = it's), there shouldn't be any apostrophes.
Guess that's the grammarian in me, but there's a short critique. Hope you find it useful.
Posted by Slash 16 years ago Report
This is quite a well done story in my opinion. Nothing wrong without alternate endings. Personally, multiple ends show different approaches.
I see you put time in this. Keep it up.^^
Posted by Silver_FangXxX 14 years ago Report
I have to be honest. I like this ending better. I've got a soft spot for cat girls, so in the end of the last one when Catalina was forced to become Neroth's sex slave kinda made me want to rip his head off and shove it up his snakey ass. But still, both stories were great works. ^^ I liked them very much, more pleased with the Tyamet Victory ending than with the Tyamet Eaten ending.