Posted by DeadStrategicCactus 8 years ago Report

So after reading this story again after not having read it in a while, I can definitely tell this is one of your earlier works without a doubt. I can tell this simply because of the amount of typos present compared to what I remember of what you've recently put out. But hey, in case you ever continue writing more Sheena stories I figure why not point something out to help with those future works to come?

Summoner isn't exactly a word that would get used outside of fiction, so thus not knowing how to spell it isn't too much of a mistake. Although given its importance in Tales of Symphonia, it definitely deserves that Proper Noun treatment. There are of course other misspellings in the story but I'm sure any word processor with a spell check could tell you that. Another thing I definitely want to tell you is to never forget to indent. Whether it's a paragraph or a line of dialogue, do not forget this. I've been making that mistake for so long now and I've been kicking myself for it.

Story wise, nothing seems too out of place given the grounds we're treading. Though I personally do find it weird how Seles spends her last moments talking to herself instead of just thinking. Also wasn't sure about that masturbation bit Sheena has while Seles struggles inside of her. Though those are matters of personal preference like you writing out the burps Sheena makes in her dialogue where I in contrast just write that happening outside of dialogue. All in all, this was a solid entry in the Sheena series you created and I can only hope in the future that there are more of them.