Posted by Littledude 11 years ago Report

I loved the part about the trains being indigestible, as often as you see macros eating those it was a good twist. The transcript section threw the action off a little but you kept the narration vivid and descriptive enough to compensate. Well done.

Posted by Mark 11 years ago Report

And this is why the first thought that runs through *civilized* beings' head-equivalents when they invent a means for crossing dimensions usually actually *isn't* "I know, let's start to piss off everybody else in the multiverse by literally stomping on them just for fun! What could possibly go wrong?"...

;)

Posted by Marked 11 years ago Report

I should hope that most beings in the multiverse had a better handle on things, but you know, "for each choice there exsists a universe where the opposite choice was made", so it was bound to happen. And to be fair, the probability of a dimension they pilaged finding them for revenge is infintesimally small, unless they really mess up like here.

Posted by Mark 11 years ago Report

Given that their tech has the inherent limitation of having to include a return address with each and every living "package" they send out in order to be able to ever retrieve it, something like this was bound to happen sooner or later.

You'd think these people had never even *heard* of Murphy's Law -- but then, that may just be one of the downsides of living in a world where humans never evolved and thus a certain Edward Murphy was never born either... ;)

Posted by Astronommy 11 years ago Report

This a superb work, particularly where its scope and the thought behind the technological gimmicks are concerned. The story also possesses a staggering concentration of content, and the decision to exclude the rampaging giant Millie's point of view from the set of featured perspectives proved very auspicious, allowing the spectators deliver the sense of the contestant's enormity and uniqueness.

The technology that the show relied on must have been quite an effort to fully formulate before integrating, and the complexity of the mechanics seen in the story is nothing short of extremely commendable. The turning of the tables in the end demonstrated that the principles guiding the interdimensional travel and surveillance aren't there solely to enable the Jeff and Adam's own civilization to trample its less advanced counterparts for fun, but can be exploited by anyone with the will to do it.

Some of the obvious physical incongruities inherent in the micro/macro genre are also rendered moot by the "dimensional wall" nature of the contestant's shield.

The mood for the piece was prudently chosen, resulting in a campy blockbuster narrative with a rollercoaster pacing and colourful imagery. The whole futuristic blood sport genre as defined by such works as "The Running Man", "Battle Royale" and, as of late, "The Hunger Games" franchise is given new life in your story, but it also sports a number of sci-fi additions that stand out on their own as well as elevating the base material.

Where the characters are concerned, this story also doesn't slouch, presenting a good spread of appropriately over-the-top, but entertaining individuals. Perhaps they could have been even more flamboyant in their presentation to intensify the effect, but it would be hard to outdo the insanely competent Blaze and the RPG tube-shouldering, digestion surviving commander; there could be a bit more of crisp military lingo going on between the two, though.

The cultural differences between the natives of the show universe and those of the human world was the right thing to mention, and the weary annoyance expressed by Jeff at the frequency of covering the human world games drops a poignant hint regarding how much devastation the show had already caused, and how jaded they had become to some aspects of their trade.

One thing that I've only just noticed: the change of format from the scripted, screenplay-styled protocol format of the broadcast to regular speech after the observer's destruction - a very subtle way to signify that the show's gone off the rails.

A little of gratuitous fastidiousness after this point. The paragraphs below will be not so much straightforward critique as a statement of befuddlement, and I'll be eager to accept any fitting explanation.

Some intricacies of how the shielding works could be considered confusing. For one, the target device must be pretty damn advanced to tell one source of extremely high energy from another at the moment's notice, but that holds up sufficiently; the fact that it can selectively dampen the impact momentum if it doesn't register the hit as having been valid is a little more difficult to believe. It could detect the same-source hit in advance, and surround itself with the shield until the hazard has passed, or course, and there really is no telling how fine is the detection machinery in the show's world, but the tangible external anchoring role of the target device is just too neat of a concept not to pass up for me.

There is also the matter of the giraffe lady's interaction with the observer device. It is very probable that the two forcefields created by similar generators would merge on impact, but wouldn't the sizes within that merged field normalize ? If that is the case, it would explain how a supposedly small device was able to cause any harm to a three-hundred-story hoofed behemoth. But then, it would make sense for Millie to be able to destroy the observer device with her meager weight.

Why would a part of the ruined observer still shimmer with the dimensional field ? Unless that spike *was* the field generator itself, of course. If the field had functional, how could Mr. Tanner handle it without any issues ? Or was it that the material used in the creation of observer modules is simply inherently responsive to the dimensional fields(or vice versa), and is capable of passing through them ?

It is also best to leave alone the question of why that incredibly important machine would be allowed to remain anywhere near the danger zone considering the valid impacts are known to be capable of launching enormous contestants in random directions at considerable speeds; a few expendable camera drones would have made for a more thorough coverage, as well.

If the gargantuan giraffe appeared in her diminished scale at the center of her former giant body's center of mass, wouldn't that mean some ten or twenty meter drop for her, at the very least ? A fall like that would definitely be fatal both for Millie and all the liberated prisoners of her stomach. Even by the most optimistic reckoning, it would be a bit odd for the unfortunate contestant to be up and running for the target device some minutes after the fall, especially considering the likely injury of her hoof.

Speaking of the devoured - does the dimensional forcefield cover the surface of the internal cavities, or does some sort of metaphysical compromise govern the interaction between the contestant's gastrointestinal tract and its contents ?


My apologies for being a critical nuisance, and thanks for your work and for bearing with my scrutiny !

Posted by Marked 11 years ago Report

Thank you for your reading and commenting on my works yet again! It's a joy to know you appreciate my writing, and that you caught some of the subtile hints in the story. I will try my best to answer your questions, though by no means do I expect to perfectly answer everything.

On the topic of the targeting device: Yes, there are some inconsistencies in how it worked. During my formulations of the technology involved, I realized that if the shield blocked all force, then it would not be able to properly register valid hits. My solution was to have a "panel of judges" on the far side who would declare a hit valid or not. This solution took too long to explain for little payoff, and negated some of the spectacular fun of having the contestant thrown around the city via hits. The compromise I arrived at was that the target must have some proximity or heat sensors that determine the hit fractions of seconds before it happens, and then selectively turn the shield off if valid.

On the topic of force field collision, here I am leaning heavily on the trope of "when two like things are used against each other, they both break". Keep in mind that the scene was mainly their to advance the plot towards the resolution I wanted while transforming the observer from something that wasn't being paid attention to into a critical plot point. Yes, under the set of physics outlined in the story, if the two fields merged, the sizes would in theory normalize with respect to one another. I hadn't quite nailed down it's scale had it been alongside the contestant on her world, but lets say for sake of argument it was about the same size of the target, roughly a palm's width in diameter. I could easily imagine that such a size could do harm to someone stepping on it, yet also be broken by the step. Since the observer was designed with shielding in mind, I would guess that it would be quite fragile without it's protection. Thank you for that comment, as it helped me to rationalize this odd point.

Now, the shimmering effect was part of the "integration" of matter. in my mind, without the shield in place keeping the dimensions separated, matter from one universe would normally with the other and take on it's scale. I was thinking more that whatever part of the probe was weaponized was indeed a component of the generator, perhaps just enough to keep the effect up for a short amount of time, but that certain surfaces of the device were optimized to carry the effect. Thus, while one part maintained the shield, Blaze might hold only the part not under the shield effect. I wasn't really happy with this, since as you point out, it is a little inconsistent. I don't think, now that you have mentioned it, that materials that are able to inherently pass through dimensional walls should exist :If they did, that would present a solution to the "revenge attack" scenario I worked hard to set up for the end.

The reason for a single camera drone was that the drone itself plays an instrumental part of selecting a dimension for gaming. The observer is sent first to a random dimension, then the probe "pulls" the contestant along for the ride once it has determined a suitable destination. The contestant's target generator is more a return line to its own world, rather than a machine capable of hopping anywhere in the multiverse. You do have a valid point, as the primary probe could have had mini camera drones that would be deployed while the primary hide itself away from the action. The best explanation I could offer is that "When Pleas Fail" is made on a budget that does not allow for such extra expense.

Last, but not least, you are 100% right about the contestant suffering a likely lethal fall that was glossed over. I might have had her return to normal size be gradual, thus eliminating the fall, except that the contents of her stomach would have remained the same, thus leading to a different likely fatal event. I went with the only option that made the most sense with the tech, and hoped that if a Batman wouldn't die from this sort of fall, maybe suspension of disbelief would carry me through.

The force field covers any continuos surface still in contact with the target device, so it would cover her inner surfaces. Some amount of acid would leak off (since the field does not deny the separation of matter connected to the target), and become integrated with the host dimension's scale. Still, the number of moles of digestive juice would be constant through the leakage, and thus any acid inside the stomach would be so diluted as to be pointless. The crushing of stomach muscles would still be a concern, particularly because they would also receive proportional boost.

Note that at one point, the caster mentions the force field not just dampens but returns 99% of force applied to it. This is not only to prevent damage to the contestant, but also explains how someone of moderate strength can exert just great force on other matter. Thus, anything the contestant picks up is effectively something close to 1% of its "real" mass to her perspective. This still runs afoul of mass increasing exponentially as scale increases linearly, since she would be no stronger as she gained height unless the field strength was increased. Perhaps the forcefield can be tuned to a selective strength, and thus "100% - (1/s^3)%" would be a suitable expression. Having the shield automatically be set to 100% would cause all sorts of problems such as the contestant failling to the center of the earth without any resistance.

Incidentally, do you have any guess as to which city was attacked in this story? It is actually based on a real one.

Also, one last thought on the tech. Part of what I like about this tech I came up with is that it works equally well the other way. The culture that produced this show might well have other travelers arrive micro-sized via the size shift, and play pranks or delve into a rich range of endosomatic possibilities. After all, it would be perfectly safe... for them.

Posted by Astronommy 11 years ago Report

Thank you for replying ! My curiosity was sated for the most part, and the additional information you provided has unveiled or at least hinted at the rich realm of possibilities this setting and its featured technological capabilities could provide for a future story.


"I hadn't quite nailed down it's scale had it been alongside the contestant on her world, but lets say for sake of argument it was about the same size of the target, roughly a palm's width in diameter."

That is close to being the narrow valley of plausible sizes; any larger, and either the contestant would have been an instant cripple, and Blaze could slice the felled giant to ribbons with his trophy makeshift blade; any smaller, Blaze would have the proper for parting the giraffe with the target module, and the young lady herself wouldn't necessarily have fallen down.


"I don't think, now that you have mentioned it, that materials that are able to inherently pass through dimensional walls should exist :If they did, that would present a solution to the "revenge attack" scenario I worked hard to set up for the end."

The contestant would have to maintain the rampage for quite some time to let the scientist get to methodically bombard the invincible leviathan with slugs made from every entry of the periodic table. But as advances as the show's world seems to be, it would be like for them to have discovered if not some entirely novel elements, but at least some ways for altering and combining the existing ones to create substances that facilitate transdimensional physics. So even if the natives had gotten their hands on some part of the transportation equipments, they'd still lack the know-how needed for processing and implementing it.


"The reason for a single camera drone was that the drone itself plays an instrumental part of selecting a dimension for gaming. The observer is sent first to a random dimension, then the probe "pulls" the contestant along for the ride once it has determined a suitable destination."

That's as good and acceptable an explanation as any. I've had an idea for the observer-trampling setup: if the observer module was programmed for automatically moving to the safest location at the time while still staying withing range for broadcasting, it would have made sense for it to hide behind the contestant after the armed nuclear weapons' had been detected on a nearby submarine. That way, there would be a reason for it to stoop down from its safe altitude and hover somewhere near the ground(after all, it is safe to assume that the optics on the thing would be good enough for long-range zooming without having to close in with whatever it is shooting at the moment).


"I went with the only option that made the most sense with the tech, and hoped that if a Batman wouldn't die from this sort of fall, maybe suspension of disbelief would carry me through."


Comic book heroes are expected to defy crushing odds by nature, and every inexplicable narrow escape actually adds to their glory instead of diminishing it. Besides, Batman's Wolverine-like toughness combined with damsel-preserving pillowy softness isn't quite as miraculous as his ability to overtake someone who's been in freefall for a good deal longer than he has, with his gorgeous cape helpfully parachuting him all the way. Unless he had his invisible, stealth-exhaust jetboots on that day.

Back on the subject, I suppose some weird science resonance could have happened after the contestant's separation from the target device and the ensuing integration. The giraffe could have phased out of reality for a split second, materialized again at normal size(with all her passengers freed up), and plummeted down, bounced a few times harmlessly as the residual effects of the field she'd been stripped of gradually dissipated. In other words, if you were to revise that scene, you would have complete freedom of fancy, seeing as even the inventors of the dimensional travel in-universe probably didn't have all the math straightened up on what would happen if you lost your dimensional anchor while stuck in the offworld at such ridiculously skewed aspect ration.


"Note that at one point, the caster mentions the force field not just dampens but returns 99% of force applied to it. This is not only to prevent damage to the contestant, but also explains how someone of moderate strength can exert just great force on other matter."

It has been very difficult for my to wrap my head about how such a field would interact with everything else featured protective functionality, and I'm still nowhere near the point of clarity on the matter. Do the "forces applied" cover gravity, light, techogenic electromagnetism ? If the resistance of the substrate being crushed by the shielded contestant is rebounded by the field, than wouldn't it either result in a sort of highly destructive hopping a la astronauts on the moon, or make the contestant drill her or his way towards the core because of the gravity-resistance-repulsion loop ? And would that effect make the shielded body extremely slippery or bouncy to the touch ? If it was up to me, I'd lazily handwave all that on account of the target device generating an uneven field and adjusts it according to the needs of the situation.

"Perhaps the forcefield can be tuned to a selective strength, and thus "100% - (1/s^3)%" would be a suitable expression. Having the shield automatically be set to 100% would cause all sorts of problems such as the contestant falling to the center of the earth without any resistance."

That formula sure goes at some lengths to adjust that one percent value. Does the scale there indicate the current level of the contestant's size boost, or the relation of contestant's natural size to that at which the contestant is projected into the victim dimension ?
And given the nature of "When Pleas Fail", I suspect that the malicious intent of the size boosts is twofold, both souring up the lives of the natives and making the contestant more vulnerable and confused, so the strength doesn't need to scale with the, well, scale - the contestant would be just as destructive and entertaining simply aimlessly flailing about the target city at the top growth level.


"Incidentally, do you have any guess as to which city was attacked in this story? It is actually based on a real one."

The "orange bridge" made me think of Golden Gate Bridge, although I couldn't remember where it was from at the time; Wiki points to San Francisco, one of the preferred targets for alien and Kaiju attacks, as I understand it - along with the Big Applesauce and Washington DC. As a content non-American, I don't know much about that land's culturally enshrined landmarks, save from what Hollywood blockbusters keep shoving in my face.


"Part of what I like about this tech I came up with is that it works equally well the other way."

Yes, it is very promising in that regard. Adjusting the repulsion strength of the dimensional field, it could even result in an contradictory phenomenon of extremely tiny contestants who are also extremely strong. Or, alternatively, capable of briefly becoming intangible, bringing them even closer to the image of the mischievous but dangerous leprechaun and the similar critters of the Fair Folk.

It would actually be very exciting to witness a medieval-themed episode of "When Pleas Fail"; after all, giant monsters crushing modern skyscrapers is old news by today's standards, but the same havoc being wreaked in darker ages would be a little less explosion-filled, but fun none the less - especially the reactions from the local denizens.