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On the desert planet of Phansirvas, males of the Dymorphline race are forced to join with a female or die upon reaching sexual maturity. Rodjir, one such male undergoing this change, decides to fight his biological fate, even if it means losing his life.
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Posted by bobthebuilder111 9 years ago Report
I very much enjoyed the story, and even for a cliffhanger(ish) ending, it actually didnt bother me. Which I only mention because that is surprising for me. For the most part closure is very important to me, and can make or break a story (personally). But the ending managed to tip-toe its way enough between that line of enough closure vs feeling like it ended too soon, atleast in my opinion lol. I would absolutely love to see more, but in the same respect I could live with myself by simply thinking of the "what if's." And it certainly depends on each persons personality, but the fact that for me it somehow managed to hit that "sweat"/terrible spot is not something I have personally ran across in quite a very long time, if at all. it has hit enough of a middle ground for me which I really did not expect lol.
But yea, I definitely enjoyed it. Even though I realize that it wont be continued lol.
Posted by bobthebuilder111 9 years ago Report
And I just realized I mentioned nothing about he body of the story lol. And the only reason I didnt do so is because I didnt think that there were any note-worthy issues with it. I thought it flowed very well, and beyond questions of human vs alien anatomy (how the intestine ends up at the uterus), I had absolutely no problem following what was happening. And other than the above I never found myself having to step back and reread just to try and find out what I possibly missed or misunderstood.
Posted by Littledude 9 years ago Report
Glad you enjoyed it. To answer your question, he was never in the intestine or the uterus but instead went down a different pipe into a specialized chamber just shy of the womb at the fallopian junction where he could fertilize incoming eggs.
I actually based this off a RL sea creature called the Green Spoon Worm, the females of which inhale the near microscopic males into a chamber of the same name as I used here.
I do like this universe, and I'm having some ideas about revisiting it in future stories maybe with different characters or a retelling of this one from Erisa's POV.
Thanks for the feedback and I hope you reading my stuff in the future.