"Alright, caller, let me get this straight -- you’re trying to warn our listeners that there’s a woman who intentionally polymorphed herself into a long-necked monster so she could prey on novice adventurers?”

“That’s right! I saw her down there recently, but I’m not an Adventurer’s Guild member in this city, so the guards didn’t believe me. But she’s down there! If you listen, you can hear her dige--”

(click)

“Woa-ho-ho-hooaa, okay, lady, that’s enough weirdo conspiracy theories about ‘man-eating sorceresses with polymorph wands’ lurking in Guild-funded practice dungeons on our airwaves. Yeesh, can you believe some of the callers we get at this hour?

Alright, next up on the air here on WZZR, your Adventurer’s Guild Crystal Ball Broadcast, this is Magical Marlo aaaaaand the Orc!”

“RRAAAAUUUGGGH!”

“Ha ha, you tell ‘em, Marlo! Okay caller, you’re on the line with Orc. Spill it, sister!”

“Hi Magical Marlo, hi Orc -- jeez, you really do get some weirdos on this line, huh? Anyway, this is my first call in -- and I’ve got a hot tip about a practice dungeon!”

“PRACTICE DUNGEON GOOD FOR UP-AND-COMERS.”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself, Mar. What’s the scoop, caller?”

“Well, by one of the low walls in the southeastern corner of the Amber Mazeways, there’s a treasure chest that was recently seeded with some rare loot. If your listeners hurry, they might get first dibs on something really special!”

“Wow!! That is an excellent tip, caller! Say, uh, there’s a lot of bubbling noises on your end of the line, is everything alright?”

“Oh, uh, don’t mind me, I’m just... a humble swamp witch who loves your program!”

“Haha, well, we love you too, swamp witch! You stay safe out there in the Roiling Marsh, now. Okay, let’s get her a t-shirt, and next up on the phones we’ve got...”

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