Excerpt from "A Witch's Guide to Cooking":

Ch. 7 - Cooking in Practice

"...Once your meal-to-be has been successfully captured, caged, and plumped to perfection, a neophyte witch may be tempted to simply plop the meat in the cauldron and start the cooking process. Bluntly put, this is a rookie mistake and often the last one a dark arts practitioner will make.

It's vital to remember that, even after months or maybe years of preparation, your meal likely isn't ready to go quite yet. No matter how sluggish, fat, and content the hog may seem, no matter how much they've been encouraged and conditioned to accept their fate, even the plumpest of piggies are capable of sudden bursts of adrenaline fueled strength when the chips are down. Many an inexperienced witch has found herself pushed into her own oven, fire pit, or cauldron by a desperate piece of meat.

With that in mind, it's important that the process is made as relaxing and difficult to focus on as possible for your chosen pig. Being in the nude is a simple step to keep your roast distracted from what's actually a happening while a full body massage with a seasoning/basting blend is a great way to multitask. The latter will a) relax your piggy and relieve tension, b) begin working flavor into the meat, and c) give you the opportunity to give him a final once-over to find your fattest, juiciest cuts.

Finally, it certainly doesn't hurt to give your dish one final handy to see him on his way. On top of creating a deeply positive association with the cooking process, being sure to encourage your porker and assure him how delicious and plump he is (review Ch. 4: Pig Conditioning for help here), many witches find that it's much harder for a hog to work up the energy to struggle on the tail-end of a happy, successful climax.

Next, you'll want to..."
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Wow, I started that description intending it to be much shorter, then it started writing itself practically.

Goodness it's been a longtime since I've posted anything. Between work (ugh), life, etc. it's hard to find the time or inclination to draw much of anything.

Recently, I tried doodling something and realized I'd let my practice slip significantly, so it suddenly became imperative to draw again. With turkey day just behind, the above idea (and monstrously long description) seemed apropos.

Let me know what y'all think!

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