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I was rewatching The Last Airbender not too long ago and I just could not get over how much of a freaking domme Azula is, Grey DeLisle did a stellar job voicing her. I think it's a crime there isn't more content featuring her since she makes for such a great pred, so here's my humble contribution.
Thumbnail image seized for redistribution from the artist Kathuon.
https://twitter.com/kathuon
As always comments and criticisms are very much welcome. Thoughts on the fight scene would be appreciated, too. It's been a while since I've written an action scene, was worried it might be a little superfluous (no pun intended...)
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Posted by iliketoread 5 years ago Report
That was a fucking awesome story.
Azula does make for a great pred indeed. The lines you wrote for Azula felt just right and love how you described her 'well toned body'.
Don't really have any criticism... maybe to have the swallowing scene a bit longer and descriptive. I feel like it would really help convey how insignificant he his to her as she fully dominates his body. But like, that's just my personal preference. Also the shrinking scene was really well done; the slow shrinking was really interesting!
Hope to see more stories in the future from you, cheers!
Posted by SuperfluousGreens 5 years ago Report
Thanks very much for the kind words.
I know what you mean about the swallowing scene needing a little more to it. I think one of my main problems as a writer is I very much have a "less is more" kind of attitude, which is good in some cases but can leave some scenes wanting.
Thanks again for reading and commenting, there'll be more stories to come!
Posted by Mechdragon1k 5 years ago Report
That last comment makes me think he might survive the experience, it is debatable if that is lucky or not.
Posted by SuperfluousGreens 5 years ago Report
Definitely lucky, though he'd be in need of a good scrub afterwards...