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This is the 19th Patreon Interactive
Two lovers meet at a local department store one day after work to buy a present for an upcoming sister's birthday. But when they get there, one gets distracted and no present is brought. Just a surprise for the two of them.
An interactive that comes with... I wanna say 3 endings and 3 scenes on each side. 3 bonus scenes on each side for patreon.
Main Npc Pics drew by RXQ
Side Note: I feel like I didn't delete the right number so the wrong stuff became patreon only... I could be wrong, but like every other time, I was rushing to do this. Even more so! I didn't finish putting all of this in till after the 1st : (... Also I think this is more transformation than vore... I know it's not general xD
NEXT ONE DOE!!! It's on! I posted the poll results and I hope you guys like wrestling, cause it's going to be about a two wrestling bros. Doing it differently since I'll have time to write it next month. It's going to be like a father's teaching where the story is based around 1 main kink, and everything else supplements it. And that kink is worshiping, cause that's the one that had the most people voting in it in the polls.
EndCard:
If you'd like to help support me and projects I'm working on. Consider becoming a patreon https://www.patreon.com/azulookami
Get the exclusive Patreon's copy of the Patreon's Interactive, and gift, and more! Polling just started for the next 1, new and improved Patreon's Interactives. Now comes with better cheats and exclusive content.
If you need help with any of my interactives or something else, also check out the discord https://discord.gg/eczsPGB
mega.nz/#!oTJV2YyI!Z5VLrfLRAY_Ux4NKMtWNkw8bHoapO_FC5PzNEC_7gmg
https://www.mediafire.com/file/bppunj43fv96clx/Fun_At_The_Store.html/file
Play it online by checking out the patreon post here... https://www.patreon.com/posts/33688212
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Posted by Killjoy364 5 years ago Report
sorry to sound kinda rude but it feels like a lot of your stories are unfinished or cut off from what I have read and im not sure which case it is v-v
Posted by azulookami 5 years ago Report
I 100% agree with you. Especially this one, you can easily till other stuff were suppose to be in it. Next one however! It'll be different! I'll actually have time to write everything I thought up instead of rushing to do so. I'm a little hyped for it.
Though someone else said that one of the scenes get cut off. I think I might have done something wrong which actually cut something off in my rush to put it all in and put it out. I was kinda on the late side for this one.
Posted by Killjoy364 5 years ago Report
im not sure what program you us for the interactive stories but it always feels like the certain paths get cut off or are just unfinished like in this story for starters where the dragon comes into the scene in the prey line and it just doesn't get made clere what happened, at least to me but im a idiot XD so im not sure
Posted by azulookami 5 years ago Report
To be fair, it was confusing. So he entered your dressing room and as soon as you turned around, hypnotized you once you saw his eyes. I'm still trying to get better that conveying stuff without outright saying it.
He gets you staring into his eyes, gets closer noms you and keeps you in a trance till he can get somewhere safe. Hubby comes in a cvs him and now you're in some musky bawls when you wake up.
I probably went too ham on the purple and thought describing things that are like being swallowed was helpful, but the constant state of focusing on the purple probably just confused some people.
It happens in other stories as well, and when I really think I did a bad job, I just outright say what happened.
If you visit the pred side of it, he does it to the panda as well. Just a bit more easier to understand since there is more context. I should really get better at putting that important thing in xD
Posted by Killjoy364 5 years ago Report
some things are better left obviously stated from what I have experienced in reading stories, but you can always make other things subtle to balance it out, but one other problem I have had with your stories is that the multiple choice's feel like they don't matter or are unclear in what ending it is leading to but that's just my personal gripe XD but overall your stories are well done and fun to read
Posted by azulookami 5 years ago Report
I really need to leave more clues throughout the build up to something. How much better would that have been to understand if I said things during the conversation with the dragon. Mentioning he has striking purple eyes. You feel oddly comfortable around him. You get lost in his words that you missed what he said.
Something to indicate that you're getting controlled/manipulated by him. Instead of just doing it right when the scene happens.
But yea, I really need to do a better hinting of what you're getting into. Just most of the times I don't have much time to write like I use to. I've gotten much faster than I was a couple of years ago. Now I just need to get better at story telling.
Posted by Killjoy364 5 years ago Report
your story telling skills are fine but in some cases its better to keep it simpler, about the mind control/manipulation description...it would depend on what he did to accomplish that such as with magic you could make it like glowing eyes or with tech or just some technique you could go into some minor detail to explain that in another route and as for the speed of your work I wouldn't rush it XD
Posted by azulookami 5 years ago Report
Yea. I'm really not satisfied with it. It is a little confusing that his eyes are glowing. That's why your vision is filled with it, but once again, all that would have been easily understood if I made more hints towards that in the conversation.
I don't even remember what the original plan was, but I know it wasn't so rushed like that. Already in the works to make the next interactive so much better!
Posted by Killjoy364 5 years ago Report
well there is never any need to rush these out, as your fans will enjoy this regardless and I hope it goes well for you