Hyrule is suffering. That much, even I can see. I’m no legendary hero, no princess, no one special at all, but having witnessed the ravenous hunger of those.. those demons! The village historian tells us that they are ‘Twili,’ but whatever they are, they must be stopped. That's what drove me to take up arms and try to get to the bottom of things, only to be stopped by a Twili unlike most of the others I had seen. She was smaller, cherub-like, and actually spoke instead of beastial growling. I was wrong to let my guard down, though.. The imp again squeezed me with her tight, fat ass cheeks as she giggled menacingly, breaking me back to my senses. “Disgusting– nnh..monster, unshrink me at once and fight fair!” The cruel twili simply responded by sickly squatting towards the ground, giving me a false sense of hope as I actually began to slowly slide out of her ass cheeks’ tight grip. Yet, without warning, she loudly clapped her hands into both of them and squeezed them together. I whined in pain, too distracting to notice the tacky, rubbery wall in front of me swelling out. Midna rudely farted for any and all to hear, and I felt every single second of it, as her cheeks struggled underneath her hands pressure, they vibrated loudly against me.. The scent that followed carried the unmistakably rotten sweet scent of death. She happily confirmed my dark suspicions as well. “Heehee, smell that, loser? That's the last person who told me to do that! You should introduce yourself since you have so much in common!” She mocked me before bringing one of her short stubby fingers to my back, and painfully began pressing me straight into the imp’s asshole. It gladly gobbled me up, just like the horrible shadow beasts I had witnessed before. No, perhaps even worse.. Was this the fate of all of Hyrule? I shuddered at the thought, something Midna evidently very much so enjoyed the feeling of..
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  To be honest, you weren't sure what inspired you to volunteer to be a Sheikah’s research assistant. Was it the fear of the potential calamity? The inspirational champions? The beautiful princess Zelda? Whatever it was, you cursed it to the deepest pit imaginable after having dealt with Purah for less than a month. The matured woman spent almost all of her time devoted to deaging processes rather than the actual world saving research you signed on for. “Alrighty then, just stand there and let me blast you with this definitely safe beam of light, Reader!” You stood on the cartoonishly painted X on the floor and crossed your arms. “It’s pronounced R–” You began to nag before she flicked the switch and the room was flooded with a blinding blue light. You screamed in fear, expecting to have been reduced to atoms and yet, you seemed to have only lost some.. a lot of them, actually! You darted your eyes around the room, taking in the suddenly massive environment. The X beneath your feet looked almost infinite now, and an equally colossal pair of feet approached you. You stumbled over as you ran in fear, only to be pinched and lifted up towards Purah’s gigantic face. “Woah.. Success!” She grinned widely. “Wh.. What!?!” You shouted at her, receiving an eye roll from the cheeky researcher. “Well, clearly, the machine can at least reduce height. That's at least one part of reducing age, right?” She tapped her chin with her other finger and pondered for a moment. “Although; still haven't figured out how to reverse any of this yet. Maybe a little snack oughta help me think. Ooh.. actually, what effects might you have if I were to..” You nervously squirmed, knowing too well the conclusion she was reaching in her head. She always tried eating you after experiments like these, and it always had the same results– nothing but a traumatic experience for you and a picture for her slate for her! “Hah, bottom’s up!” She annouced and tossed you head first into her mouth, closing her lips around your waist so your butt and legs hung out like a noodle. She walked across the room and picked up her slate, loaded up the photography app and posed for the camera cutely. She opened her lips just in time for you to fall forward onto her tongue. “Check it!” She winked and snapped the camera before gulping you down her throat with ease. There you'd sit, pouting in a pool of traditional tea for a few hours..
 
 
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  I knocked on Himiko’s door just in time for her to finish preparing one of her “spells.” Everyone knew her magic was fake, even if she was convincing, but we'd become close because I've been humouring her and pretending to believe it. Now that those freaks turned off the AC, I was really hoping this newest spell of hers would actually work for real. Stepping into her room, the magician threw her cloak back dramatically and led me by my hand to the centre of her room. In it, she had purposefully spilled water and even a few ice cubes. I was a little angry about it, actually, considering how precious our ice was right now.. “Nyehe! Behold! I will soon turn your frown upside down, my sweet friend! Be an amazing apprentice and lay in the circle, will ya?” I squinted at her a bit, finding it a little difficult as always to keep up with her passionate act, but, reluctantly I ended up following her instructions and settled in the middle of the wet circle. The water and melting ice was soothing in the very least, and the view of Himiko’s bloomers from up her skirt as she circled me and said strange, silly ice puns made me forgive the blatant waste of ice. But, then it got weird.. Well, weird for even Himiko standards. I actually began to feel.. really really cold. I lost the feeling in my limbs, a freezing burning feeling that spread throughout my body fast. I opened my mouth to shout in confusion but by time I reacted, it was too late, my mouth was gone.. My entire body was gone, I was completely frozen, and not even in the form of a human, I was simply shaved ice, one of her favourite snacks. “Nyeheha! I told those fools! I only needed someone to channel their mana into me through faith!” I mentally protested that. Until now, I didn't believe her at all. Could magic really be affected by placebo..? God, what was I thinking? I’m a frozen desert!! Himiko knelt down and picked up the small, pristine transparent glass bowl that housed me. Its material was beyond perfect and didn't seem to resemble anything of this earth, likely a product of her spell. “Now to show the others, they won’t believe me!” ..They definitely did NOT believe her. Disappointed, she turned to face me and began to eat me piece by piece. I felt a strange sensation as my consciousness split apart in multiple bites, a lot of them melting in her hot breath.