g4 :: Feeding hungry friend by darkdog2

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Eka's Portal 20^th Anniversary Woohoo! Please help with our 20^th fund raising effort!

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Feeding hungry friend By darkdog2 -- Report

Uploaded: 2 years ago

Views: 7,096

File size: 21.32 KiB

MIME Type: application/vnd.openxmlformats-officedocument.wordprocessingml.document

Comments: 2

Favorites: 60

Tags: Absorption Digestion Disposal F/F Fart Female Pred Female Prey Hana Yurikawa Mieruko-Chan Scat Sentient Disposal sentient fat Unwilling Prey written work

Feel free to give some feed back it would help.

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Posted by Cobbly 2 years ago Report

Sentient disposal is fantastic and I love the casual nature. Perhaps you could work on grammar? I notice you don't tend to use possessives or particles when you should. For instance...

"I guess yuria ready to come out."
Should be
"I guess Yuria is ready to come out."

Posted by darkdog2 2 years ago Report

Thanks for the feedback i try my best to correct my grammar might take a while but i work on it