HNTBL: Caverns & Chameleons(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 6:Dinner Guest“Sorry,” Lucida began as she and Max hit the sidewalk after their time in the mall’s arcade. “I would have offered for you to come to my place instead, only…”Max tilted his head curiously. "Your family wouldn’t understand?" he asked in a tone that said he had seen something like this coming. "You’re welcome at my house of course.”Lucida’s wide lips pursed in careful thought. “More

HNTBL: Caverns & Chameleons(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 6:Dinner Guest“Sorry,” Lucida began as she and Max hit the sidewalk after their time in the mall’s arcade. “I would have offered for you to come to my place instead, only…”Max tilted his head curiously. "Your family wouldn’t understand?" he asked in a tone that said he had seen something like this coming. "You’re welcome at my house of course.”Lucida’s wide lips pursed in careful thought. “More

HNTBL: Caverns & Chameleons(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 5:Gamer Fuel

Max and Lucida walked together on the way to the arcade, sharing the beginnings of friendly banter between them. Several of their peers turned their heads at the sight of the inordinately large reptilian girl; though she recognized several of them, her observable presence was sparse at school, to say the least. Max, with a belly full of warm hamburger, felt exultant, and paid far more attention to his n

HNTBL: Caverns & Chameleons(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 3:Downtime ActivitiesThe day after Max’s run in with Makaylah, he found himself in the park. He'd hoped to catch Lucida somewhere, but she wouldn't be seen if she didn't want to be. He had attracted a bit of a crowd using magic for colorful fireworks displays which were totally not taxing or dangerous at all. ”They look better at night,” he thought to himself. In Darkwater, magic was used for precise engineerin

HNTBL: Caverns & Chameleons(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 3:Slip up“That bitch,” a slender, overly accessorized and palpably frustrated girl thought to herself. The image of Eve burned her inner-eye so hot that steam practically poured from her ears. “Eating Wesley just because I don’t want to be a part of your little mage pred gang. I'll show you, you... you homewrecker!”Makaylah had watched that new boy leave school that day. “Max was his name,” she thought.

HNTBL: Caverns & Chameleons(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 2:Roll PerceptionLucida crept her way into the library after school was out, having rushed back home to grab her things. A few students were studying in the quiet place; Lucida had enjoyed the library plundering the wonderful smelling archive for its fantasy books and the worlds within worlds she could discover there, although she hadn’t been in a while. That Max would play games here was an entirely new use of the

HNTBL: Caverns & Chameleons(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 1:D&D Saves Lives!


Max finished up class and was heading out the door. "Bye Mrs. Draconica thanks for class," he said to the obviously-named dragon teacher on the way out. Max looked around the hallways. He had moved to this crazy country a few weeks ago, and slowly gotten used to the very different way the predators behaved. They were in the minority in his country and while things happened, they didn’t have

HNTBL: Other Tails (a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Short:Slithering Shoe SalesAt Home:Ender woke up alone which hadn’t happened in a while. He heard the front door shut and realized that Slee and Ethan had left the house without him. This was perfectly fine; when you started living with your girlfriend almost as soon as you met her it was important not to be clingy, or jealous. When your girlfriend was a big naga who was more than willing to eat humans in numbers up to and including t

HNTBL: Other Tails #22(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 22:Dance Dance EvolutionEnder was locked in Ethan's room. The tuxedo was completely unsuited to any of his usual activities. It was tight, around his upper arms, around his butt, around his thighs. "You can't fight in this!" he thought, completely missing the point of tuxedos. In all the films he'd watched the heroes could acquit themselves quite well in the expensive looking outfits. Admittedly this was a rental, but still h

HNTBL: Other Tails #21(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 21:Snakes On A PlaneEnder got off the plane. He was a tough human, he could face vampires and other predators and even tell a big vermillion naga he loved her. He didn’t like planes though at all, however Mr. Thering had given him a pill that helped him sleep most of the flight as he'd been clinging to Slee in complete panic for the first 15 minutes. He felt like an idiot and was pretty sure her friends and Ethan were laugh

HNTBL: Other Tails #20(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 20:A Game of GulpsEnder was playing with Ethan on the couch, they were teamed up giving a horrible online whooping to some noobs, cheering and eating chips. Ender knew better than to be any more of a needy boyfriend than he was, and didn't chase Slee around her own house, annoying her. When she wanted to be close she was, and that was enough for Ender, he didn't push."Endy, buddy, how about we--" ding dong. Ethan was interrup

HNTBL: Other Tails #19(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 19:Danger CloseOlly had been waiting for a while, sitting nervously but excitedly on a random bench. Once she caught a glimpse of Ender- and slightly less to her pleasure, Slee- the mage perked up and waved with a soft smile. "Hey! Happy to see you guys.""Hey Olly," Ender greeted her. "Slee did the hard work getting this." He motioned to Slee indicating the syringe she held in her clawed hand. "This should give you the advant

HNTBL: Other Tails #18(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 18:Date BiteEnder arrived at his house- well, the Therings’ house- without Slee. He looked around. "Ethan?" he called, wandering into the house. Ender could really use his buddy’s usually light happy mood; things at school had been very serious. The snake slid out of his room and approached Ender, excited that his brother was home. "Yeah?" A smile was painted across his face, upper fangs slightly revealed. "You okay?" He

HNTBL: Other Tails #17(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 17:Care Full“Monday again,” Olly sighed, she had to go through another five days of school, with the constant risk of a particularly hungry predator getting a whiff of her marked scent. She had yet to meet Ender, which she hoped would happen eventually, without the snake. Slee was nice, yes, but she herself admitted that she couldn't bring herself to stay around the marked mage. Olly tried to push her thoughts aside to f

HNTBL: Other Tails #16(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 16:Ice Cream, You ScreamEnder watched Olly vanish. Her magic lessons had been interesting and certainly more forgiving than some of the, “Do it right or die,” lessons he’d heard about in the magic classes the more advanced mages attended. She had been a kind and patient teacher.“Bye Olly,” he said to empty air. Now though he was alone in the park. He made his way back to the Therings house, which was mostly also his

HNTBL: Other Tails #15(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 15:You’re a Wizard EndyEnder was waking up with Ethan; he had felt bad for offending the young naga yesterday at the mall. As he disentangled himself from the coils of the snoring naga, he slowly made his way out to the garage in his camo pajamas, that proclaimed in bright yellow letters: "I'm Invisible!" A few of his belongings had been moved from his old house. He'd hadn't seen his dad again, and he had begun to think Mrs

HNTBL: Other Tails #14(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 14:All Around Me are Familiar FacesEnder awoke with a start. His alarm had not gone off. He had to get his morning routine done, then do his morning chores quickly so he could text Slee. But something was terribly wrong, he couldn't move. From his half awake perspective he was… fully encircled in miles of endless coils, which were pliant but insistent about his immobility. The events of the previous night came rushing back

HNTBL: Other Tails #13(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 13:Orphaned out of KindnessEnder approached his house with Slee, who seemed tired. She hadn't talked much on the way home, and neither had he. He'd enjoyed her pleasant closeness, and hadn't tried to fill that space with meaningless conversation. He was tired too; his unwitting heroics, and apparently evil tactics had left him drained mentally and physically. So they walked and slithered home. Slee was dropping him at his ho

HNTBL: Other Tails #12(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 12:The Garfeline ChallengeEnder entered detention, hoodie up, doing as much as he could to look completely invisible. He was nothing, a fly on the wall. The issue was, there was a toad in the room. He saw the toad he had saved Olly from, sitting in the back corner. She had cleaned herself up and was chatting idly with a few other predators evidently, also in detention. There was also a smattering of humans. Their demeanors co

HNTBL: Other Tails #11(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 11:Sticky Situation“You just have to go down this hallway, this isn't the end of the world,” Olly thought to herself, taking deep breaths as she walked, increasing the speed of her pace every so often. With every hungry glance, she simply moved faster, or pointed her wand. The mark really took a toll on her. She was not nearly as confident as she used to be and was even more wimpy when using magic. She never really though

HNTBL: Other Tails #10(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 10:Ethan the Hero“Slee left her phone on the table... Odd. She never does that. I wonder what's on her mind--WAIT, that means I get to use it!!” Ethan very stealthily approached his sister's device, grabbed it, unlocked it - he had spied on her long enough to memorize the code - and then, he started texting Ender. He'd been dying to see him again! [[HI! It'zz Me, Ethnan!!1! Plz com over...]] The typos were either a result

HNTBL: Other Tails #9(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 9:Games and Goodies[[Heya Slee what are you up to today? I'm headed off to the mall for a new hoodie]] Ender texted. He winced a bit as he typed; his knuckles and wrist were stiff. He had a whole bunch of questions he wanted to ask Slee but thought better of texting them. Hopefully they could just have a “normal” trip to the mall, well more “normal” than last time. He threw on a shirt that read "Look at the chump in th

HNTBL: Other Tails #8(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 8:Foxy FriendsEnder walked up the front steps of the school, his grey hoodie pulled up. His backpack hung off one shoulder. He listened to his classmates talking happily and making their way towards class, still working on his thoughts of something nice for Slee.Slee was nowhere to be seen, though she probably was in the middle of the mass of students somewhere. So many species, so many heads moving through the halls, and so m

HNTBL: Other Tails #7(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 7:Eat and RunEnder texted Slee, as his father made clear in no uncertain terms, "You will run for an hour this morning or jump rope, and you will get it done before school!!!!" [[Morning Slee you up or are you Sleeeepy?]] Ender texted his friend desperately.It was 5:30 am.Slee had gone to sleep rather tired and exhausted, school could be stressful for predators as well. So it's easy to see why she was not pleased when her lou

HNTBL: Other Tails #6(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 6:Party Tricks“This can't be so bad. Come on Slee, it's just ONE human, we can find other ones to eat…” The huge naga took a few deep breaths, then knocked on the door. She felt flustered and had to double check it was Ender’s house. Of course it was; she’d been there before. Slee was wearing a nice dress today. She usually dressed pretty casually, but for some reason the way Ender looked at her made her feel less l

HNTBL: Other Tails #5(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 5:Clique baitEnder was walking through the hallowed halls on his way to basic magic class. He saw Slee in the hallway with her friends and gave her a kind of secret wave: a ‘phone’ signal, with his thumb and pinky extended, shaking back and forth. He'd texted her to make sure she was okay with his abrupt exit a few days ago, and gone on to laugh about how he'd sprinted across the park and gotten that really strange look fr

“HNTBL: Other Tails #4(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 4:Sleep TightEnder texted Slee around 6:30 p.m. [[Heya are you busy? My parents are using the TV binging some retarded Netflix show, I can't play guitar, or video games!! My life is hell]] Hopefully she had some time and had already eaten. "I hope her family doesn't mind me," he thought.[[I'm not busy right now. Uh, you can come over if you want. Just... Be careful, okay? I still haven't told them about you. Better work on

HNTBL: Other Tails #3(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 3:Hangry GamesEnder was eating in the lunchroom. All the humans gathered at a single group of tables; they tended to eat together to avoid obvious lunchtime problems. They still didn’t associate with Ender though, nor he them.His neck was still bruised and sore from his "discussion" with his father regarding Jess. His parents' fury at him for her death in the belly of Slee had fallen apart when her social media messages expo

HNTBL: Other Tails #2(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 2:Inside Her TradingEnder was walking in the hallways, well before class. The events upon his return home replayed in his mind, along with the image of Slee. He walked past the predator class and noticed a familiar red naga about to enter. Up ahead of him, his sister Jess was heading to magic class."Hey Jess, did you forget your homework?", he said loud enough for Slee to hear. The pretty (if over-makeup-ed) 17 year old turned

HNTBL: Other Tails(a “How Not To Become Lunch” spinoff)Chapter 1:A Chance Eating/MeetingIt was a brisk autumn day, grey clouds in the sky ominously promising colder days to come. Ender, having stretched and lightly warmed up, began his 10k run around the park. Headphones resting on top of his head, the sharpest of ears could pick out the audio book "Dead Beat" by Jim Butcher playing through them. He enjoyed the pleasant distraction, his arms and legs moving almost subconsciously, as the cha